differences between boys and girls with autism

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Ticker
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12 Aug 2007, 5:16 pm

Spot17 wrote:
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Yeah, because Aspie women/girls get so much attention - no one ever focuses on the Aspie guys... :roll:

Sometimes I get really sick of how the guys on this forum b***h and complain about how the women here have it so much better. What a bunch of bull. Men are allowed to act like teenagers at pretty much any age and most people just find it endearing. Women over college age, on the other hand are seen as social pariahs if they don't magically morph into mature social sophisticates or motherly types by a certain age. I watched as the female friends I had growing up changed into mommies while I still felt like a 12 year old boy, that's when I really knew something wasn't "normal" about me.

Everything I've been able to find about Asperger's has focused on males. It's like finding the holy grail to actually read something that talks about females with AS and how it affects them

If you ask me, it's about damn time someone started to focus on us.



I agree wholeheartedly. But first I have to say the 10:1 or 4:1 gender ratio is a big bunch of BS. I've been to autism functions where its 50/50 or even 60% females/ 40% males. I find this upsetting because even at meetings when the gals outnumber the guys the focus is ALWAYS, ALWAYS on young MALE Aspies. Nobody ever worries about the female Aspies over the age of say 10 and what problems we may be encountering. Even the few AS schools and living centers are all for guys only. Meanwhile the females are left to suffer in poverty, abuse, loneliness, ill health all of their lives. We are even expected as AS women to behave normal like an NT while AS & NT guys alike are allowed to act like children their entire life.



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12 Aug 2007, 5:24 pm

maybe more women go to the meetings because there more social? i know i dont go because im embarresed and unsocial.

living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.


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12 Aug 2007, 5:39 pm

Ticker wrote:
most AS women couldn't give a sh** spending time with ANYONE if the other person isn't the kind to hold intellectual conversation and do fun, Aspie-intriguing things. Most people bore me to tears.


Me too. But I still want a boyfriend. And then there's the dance perseveration, which doesn't help matters any.

So I need to find a guy that I'm attracted to, who doesn't bore me stupid, AND isn't driven away by my aspie-ness, AND who partner dances.

This is why I'm single.



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12 Aug 2007, 5:54 pm

JonnyBGoode wrote:
My personal opinion is that Aspie girls have it much easier in the dating world than Aspie guys, for several reasons. For one, often the shy bookworm type is very attractive to guys. For another, because of societal norms, guys are the ones that are supposed to "make the move" - and thereby need to know when/how to do so, and this is where Aspie males get hung up. Oftentimes the girl just has to say yes to the advance.


Oh yeah rape and abuse are just so wonderful for us Aspie females. And we don't even have to ask for it; we just get it! ( Just an FYI the average Aspie female does not have normal relationships.)



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12 Aug 2007, 6:09 pm

richardbenson wrote:
maybe more women go to the meetings because there more social? i know i dont go because im embarresed and unsocial.

living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.


There's a home for males in Camp Verde. And many low spectrum autistic males have caregivers through the Flag Hozhoni program or however you spell it. There is a school for autie boys in like Mesa or Tempe too.

All of the males that show up at the meetings are embarrassed and unsocial. One guy even sit and cried cause someone bumped his chair. The females are similarly unsocial and vary from silent as mice (me) to won't shut up. I'm not sure I would call the can't shut themselves up as social, rather more like social failures. Most of the guys you have to poke them to see if they're still alive. But at least they show up.



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12 Aug 2007, 6:22 pm

Ticker wrote:
richardbenson wrote:
maybe more women go to the meetings because there more social? i know i dont go because im embarresed and unsocial.

living centers for males who have aspergers in flagstaff? news to me.


There's a home for males in Camp Verde. And many low spectrum autistic males have caregivers through the Flag Hozhoni program or however you spell it. There is a school for autie boys in like Mesa or Tempe too.

All of the males that show up at the meetings are embarrassed and unsocial. One guy even sit and cried cause someone bumped his chair. The females are similarly unsocial and vary from silent as mice (me) to won't shut up. I'm not sure I would call the can't shut themselves up as social, rather more like social failures. Most of the guys you have to poke them to see if they're still alive. But at least they show up.
that camp verde place is called rainbow achers i think and you have to be extremely low functiong and not be your own gaurdian. autism is a developmental disability that the state of arizona recignizes, aspergers is not. wich means if you have autism more than likely you can get services for, ie: residential respite etc. believe me ive already been down this road, theres no residential services for anyone with just aspergers in this state.


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13 Aug 2007, 2:38 am

Richard I've never heard of Rainbow Archers. The place is called Rusty's Ranch that I'm talking about.



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01 Sep 2007, 3:06 pm

Someone told me that boys with autism also have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and that autistic girls will have problems with depression and anxiety.



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25 Jul 2009, 9:50 pm

Ticker wrote:
JonnyBGoode wrote:
My personal opinion is that Aspie girls have it much easier in the dating world than Aspie guys, for several reasons. For one, often the shy bookworm type is very attractive to guys. For another, because of societal norms, guys are the ones that are supposed to "make the move" - and thereby need to know when/how to do so, and this is where Aspie males get hung up. Oftentimes the girl just has to say yes to the advance.


Oh yeah rape and abuse are just so wonderful for us Aspie females. And we don't even have to ask for it; we just get it! ( Just an FYI the average Aspie female does not have normal relationships.)



Male; despite efforts against anxiety ...no girlfriends PLUS I've been raped numerous times. :oops: its not 'oneupsmanship' just a point that 'we' can be screwed over in that way with our gender-specific problems to boot. ....I landed in the shallowend of the fourtune pool. :cry:



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25 Jul 2009, 11:58 pm

It's not like AS guys don't get abused, too. There are downright evil women who will take advantage of an AS man in a heartbeat. This stereotype of men as abusers is just plain invalid. Either gender can be the aggressor; the only difference tends to be that abusive women will try to humiliate, dominate, or belittle their targets more often, and men will get physical more often.

The societal expectations are different. Men can be "immature" for longer, but women aren't expected to be assertive and independent. Either way, there are drawbacks.


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26 Jul 2009, 12:02 pm

Kittygirl wrote:
Someone told me that boys with autism also have Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and that autistic girls will have problems with depression and anxiety.
I think that info was wrong. the information I've been looking at indicates that depression, anxiety, and ADHD are commonly comorbid with AS for both sexes.

as far as girls having an easier time... well, no. I got beat up on at home and at school. the only relationships I had were with older men who wanted sex. when I did get married it was to someone who seemed fairly desperate and I "settled", thinking I wouldn't do any better, and at that point I really did want to be married. it sucked though, because he expected me to be subservient and "female" without notifying me in advance of the requirement. he also displayed (and still does) severe narcissistic traits, if not NPD (haven't managed to get him diagnosed yet).

my second marriage is to a guy with AS who is much younger than I am. IMO he was lucky to stay out of "relationships" when he was younger because he avoided the emotional damage I endured. maybe he was lonely, but so was I, even though there seemed to be plenty of men willing to have sex with me. they just didn't actually want to have sex with ME, they just wanted to have sex.



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26 Jul 2009, 1:01 pm

LePetitPrince wrote:
Most medical articles say that girls have it more severe
.

I agree with that.