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QFT
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02 Jul 2022, 10:34 pm

While in my other posts I was describing some stupid things I have, in fact, done, let’s switch gears for a second and talk about something that I haven’t. That’s what physicists would call “thought experiment”.

So picture this. Suppose I were to go to the restaurant, by myself (as I am usually by myself anyway) and suppose a female waitress comes to my table, and I just yell at her “f**k you” just totally out of the blue. The question is: what will happen after that?

Now remember: I have not actually done it. Yet I can vividly picture what would happen. Well, not till the end, but at least the beginning. So the beginning will go as follows. The female waitress will leave, then few minutes later a male (probably a manager, but not necesserely) would come in, and say “are you okay?”

The rest of the story I don’t really know. It would depend on the restaurant for sure, plus it would depend on my response too. For example, can see myself playing dumb and asking “what makes you think I am not okay” (just to see if he would bring up something in addition to what I actually said — such as my looks or my mannerisms — in which case I would be pissed even more) or I might actually admit right away what I done and tell him I was upset at somebody else (in case it occurs to me that something beyond just pride is at stake). Interestingly enough, I imagine him being more judgmental in the former scenario than the latter. Which goes to show how people discriminate against aspies since they are more willing to look down at somebody truly ignorant of their behavior than on somebody that knows they are being a jerk, which is unfair.

But let’s get back to the first part though. While the rest of the story can play out differently, the part with the male walking by and asking “are you okay” will take place for sure. Now, is there any wonder I like female attention and not the male attention? Female attention is a sign of approval while male attention is a sign of disapproval, as this scenario vividly shows.

The fact that I pictured it so vividly shows that I been subjected to a combination of female withdrawal and unwanted male attention in all kinds of other situations. Not this one, but lots and lots of other ones. And that’s what I resent.



babybird
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03 Jul 2022, 2:22 pm

So if I was sat in my hypothetical cafe and all of a sudden a male waiter was on the other side of the room and I just shouted "Oy, do you want a blow job" across the floor I wonder what would happen next.

Well I would expect that he would be more than a little bit embarrassed. He might even drop the tray of fine china teacups and saucers on the floor. I would laugh of course because I am quite shameless.

This is more than likely as a result of my having some kind of deficit where empathy is concerned.


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klanka
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03 Jul 2022, 4:20 pm

I have seen that people are more tolerant of aggression than autistic behaviour...like the old phrase when dealing with bullies..just ignore them! They'll stop and go away!!
That's basically saying that their behaviour is OK and retaliation isn't.



Lost_dragon
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03 Jul 2022, 6:04 pm

Sorry, you've completely lost me on this one. If I were sat in a restaurant and a man suddenly started swearing at a waitress, I'd wonder about context. Personally I would consider three main possibilities. A) The man experiences tics and this swear is unintentional, B) the waitress did something to upset the man and he likely overreacted or C) Misplaced anger. Perhaps the man already knows the waitress and there's more to the story, but purely based on seeing that reaction alone, I would feel negatively towards the man...yet I would also give him the benefit of the doubt in case it was a tic. I'd wait to see if he is going to offer an explanation.

Now, if I were to continue to watch the interaction and witness the man respond "What makes you think I'm not OK?" when asked if he is alright, I'd take it as snarky sarcasm. Of course he's not OK, he just swore at the waitress. To which the member of staff would likely ask him to either stop behaving rudely to his co-worker or to leave the establishment.

As for the whole point about female attention being a sign of approval and male attention being one of disapproval, I fail to recognise the connection between this hypothetical story and the point being made. :scratch:


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kraftiekortie
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03 Jul 2022, 6:10 pm

I would think the guy is a total idiot.

Why would you yell “f**k you” at a waitress out of the blue? I would think you’re a candidate for the funny farm.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 03 Jul 2022, 6:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

QFT
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03 Jul 2022, 6:10 pm

Lost_dragon wrote:
As for the whole point about female attention being a sign of approval and male attention being one of disapproval, I fail to recognise the connection between this hypothetical story and the point being made. :scratch:


Because it would be specifically a male that would ask "are you okay". That shows that weirdos get male attention and not female attention. Which in turn implies that female attention is a sign of approval and male attention is a sign of disapproval.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jul 2022, 6:14 pm

If I were the manager, I’d probably ask why. Then, if you say you said it out of the blue, I’d throw you out into the street.



kraftiekortie
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03 Jul 2022, 6:24 pm

I hope you don’t actually go through with this as some sort of “social experiment.”

If it’s at Denny’s, you’d lose your 24-hour privileges.



Last edited by kraftiekortie on 03 Jul 2022, 7:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Fnord
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03 Jul 2022, 6:41 pm

QFT is posing a situation that is hypothetical to him, but that (sadly) is all too common among people with Tourette’s syndrome. I trust that QFT is making an honest inquiry.

@QFT: Likely, such a person would be asked to leave, with or without placing an order.

If the person refused to leave, the manager might call for the police to intervene.

Other patrons might even act to tremove the person from the premises.

Does this answer your question, QFT?