A different subject I’d like to talk about

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I find it very ironic how adults want to protect kids but when it a kid rapes another kid or sexually abuses another child or they commit a murder, all of a sudden people no longer want to protect them and they now villainize them and want them put away for life. But yet they are totally fine with them using fake IDs and lying about their age to have sex with adults, especially when the adult is drunk go figure. They are no longer concerned what they do to an adult but yet they are concerned when they harm another minor and even do a murder. Whatever happened to teens do stupid things?

I even see radical feminists villainizing male children when they slap girls butts and other things. To me this is normal kid behavior and this is something that needs to be addressed by adults and parents need to be informed about. Heck by their definition I did sexual harassment myself then as a female child.

Well, it looks like I'm vindicated
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Golden_Girls

To be fair nobody here on WP wants the scenarios you are alluding to. We need to agree on that. But when it comes to individual transgression when it comes to teenage rebellion. alcohol and drugs are involved it's a completely different matter. A lot parents choose to let their teens be independent or they are unable to control them or simply are unable to watch them all the time.

A lot of teenage girls use marijuana and go to concerts, go to bars and nightclubs. They enjoy the attention from older men and often when intoxicated or high end up sleeping with them. A lot of teen girls want to be accepted into the pothead culture (because its cool) and invariably hookup while high with older men.

A lot of this flies under the radar and I know of males I went to university with who bragged about the 16 year olds they scored with who are now married with daughters of the same age, This problem is more widespread than society is willing to admit because the beneficiaries are white men who see no advantage in disclosing their past to their wives.




But where do you draw the line? Ins't it easier to not touch?

Should a six year old be treated like a predator? Should 12 year old have to register as a sex offender? After all they are not mature enough and their brains are not fully developed enough to fully understand the consequences to their actions. Adults out there can't use this defense to protect minors and then turn around and then treat them like actual predator when they go groping and touching other kids their age or slapping butts to get attention. That is why I say, be the adult and talk to them about their behavior and explain how its wrong like my mom did to me when I was trying to get my dad to touch me there. She talked to me about it and said they put dads in jail for that and I will never see mine again if mine went. I have done other things in my childhood towards other kids I cringe about now because I realize it would be sexual assault now but I didn't know that then. I didn't think sexually about others back then and didn't see things that way like adults would. I find it strange how adults will try and treat minors as adults and adultlize them when they do things they don't like but then turn around and say things like "kids can't consent, they do stupid things." But if a minor raped an adult by holding her down and she couldn't fight him off, would the adults be outraged about it and would want the minor charged for rape? Most likely the woman wouldn't go to the police to report it because of him being underage and she wouldn't want to be the perpetrator. I did see a post on reddit by someone who was raped by a 16 year old when she was 23. She was treated as a the perpetrator at first and then charges were dropped for some reason I forget. She didn't even know he was a minor till the police came to her. Do I see her as a predator? God no.

When my son hit me and bent my glasses, me and my husband told him what he did was assault and he is so lucky we are not calling the police to press charges because we don't want him to have a criminal record for assault. I took away all his electronics for the day. We didn't use the law to address this.

Like I say, it's not black and white which is why we have juvenile courts and why we have laws saying we can't try a minor as an adult under a certain age. I do see adults trying to change this and to me it's ironic, okay, either teens are innocent and make stupid decisions or they are mature enough to make decisions so let's stop treating them like innocent victims when they harm people including adults, especially when they use fake ID to sneak into adult places and sleep around with adults. As a teen what made me not do things was because of the law and you go to jail for it. My mom made it clear to me if I do anything bad, I will not go to Europe after I finish high school. If I even have sex, she will not take me there. Did I have the same understanding of an adult, no but I still didn't do them because of consequences and not wanting to go to juvi hall or be tried as an adult. Maybe these harsh laws keep minors from acting badly as criminals. Tell a 7 year old if they touch their baby sister wrong, they put them in jail for it and they won't be able to see their friends again or even live at home and this is scary for a child so they stop even though they won't have the same understanding of an adult but know if they do X, they get taken away and go to kid jail.

Then people need to stop being black and white and saying they are predators because they were fooled by the minor or else they do disagree on this. They can say instead that not all sex offenders are evil and predators and out to get minors if they do truly agree. Sometimes bad circumstances happen and they were at the wrong place at the wrong time when a minor had sex with them while they were intoxicated or because the minor spiked their drink or because they were at a adult place and hooked up with a lady who said she was 18 only to turn out she was 16. It's not like they will go out and offend again and try and seek minors to make out with.

Imagine treating someone like a serial killer and acting like they will kill again because they killed their abuser when they were a domestic abuse victim?

this is how Eric Smith ended up spending way more time in jail than he needed to. He was in there from age 13 up until 41 bc people couldn’t understand a very obvious case of being a changed person.

Also the fact that when kids do sexual abuse, it's because they are victims of it themselves. If this is what they grew up with and adults always did it to them so they do it to other kids because they think this is normal, they don't need to be tried as an adult or need to be register as a sex offender. I am fine if they go to juvi hall because they will be safe there and they can get lots of counseling and support so they can be rehabilitated. The purpose of them going there is to get them out of a unsafe environment, protect other kids from them and so they can get the help they need.

I have seen adults online try and villainize these kids and I am like, they were victims themselves and whatever happened to wanting to protect kids? I have even seen people villainize Beth Thomas and still act like she wants to murder and sexually abuse people around her even though she was given help and was no longer that way anymore. She was 6 when she went into treatment. Why are they holding something against her for what she did when she was under 7?

Yes I agree with your point about approaching this issue with nuance (case by case) and not using black and white thinking. But at the beginning of this thread you weren't as flexible about the young lady who drunkenly slept with a teen boy who has been placed on a sex offender register for the rest of her life when it's quite obvious it was case of mistaken identity and not pedophilia as the courts mistakenly concluded.

The courts need to handle this sensitive issue carefully and on a case by case basis rather than applying the law in a blanket manner. But at the same time there are general boundaries that people should not cross.

Because I watched the documentary and I found out she was intoxicated because the 31 year old got her and the 14 year old both drunk and he made sexual advances towards her. She couldn't consent. If she were a minor, he would be charged with rape but what if she were 16 or 17? When a man has sex with a drunk woman, he is charged with rape when she presses charges. But when it's the other way around, no one takes it seriously. But if the drunk woman is an adult and the minor has sex with her, she is guilty?

But yet when both drunk adults have sex, why is it all on the guy that is charged with rape? Why isn't the woman charged too? She raped him too.

Now everyone acts like Shawna would do it again. I doubt she would let herself get herself drunk around minors or go after minors. I mean isn't it victim blaming to blame her for the sex because after all when women get raped at a party, they are blamed for it because they had too much to drink. She had a lot to drink at her own party and the 14 year old had sex with her while he was also drunk. Why did the 31 year old let it happen? I wouldn't be okay with a 14 year old making sexual advantages towards an adult or towards another minor and telling them "he really likes you" when they act inappropriate.

Also she knew he was 14. They were just friends and it was her 19th birthday when she and him both got drunk because the 31 year old did it. They were all friends. Then he did it with her. But yet if he did this to another minor, he would be charged with rape even if he was intoxicated himself. How is this any different with an adult? And why is it only the male that gets charged and not the woman when they were both drunk and they had sex? Wouldn't she have raped him too by logic?

And kids shouldn't be drinking anyway and I also think its dumb to treat them as predators and have them register as a sex offender as well when teens do stupid things and didn't know that drunk people can't consent to sex. I didn't know that either until I was in my twenties when I watched the Dr. Phil show. I was screaming at the TV how the hell is it rape if the woman got on top of him and started groping him and he went along with it, she consented. She was not raped. If he didn't want it, then she raped him. But Dr. Phil said drunk people cannot consent to sex. I was also told the same here so the man should have pushed her off him and basically he would have been sexually assaulted by her because he didn't consent. If the man acted the same way while drunk, he is treated as the aggressor but not the woman when she acts the same way while drunk. Talk about double standard.

A lot to unpack here but I don't think it's proven beyond a shadow of doubt she knew his age. Some 14 year old boys might look older than they are? maybe he sounded older than he was, I don't know? she was only 19 which is not much older so this is somewhat a grey area,

Young adults attend parties where there are often mixed age groups. Nobody gate keeps parties checking IDs. A simple rule young adults should follow is to get know the people they are around so there is no confusion over age, Problem solved.

I have always heard even as a child you shouldn't be going around having sex with different people because you could get a disease and you never know who is carrying it. This is another good reason why you shouldn't just have sex with someone you just met.

At least if you meet someone at a adult bar or something and you don't have sex and you only interact with them as friends, you can't be charged as a sex offender or with a sex crime. Worst case scenario would be you get a call from their mom telling you they are 16 and ask what you are doing with them. you are like "16? She told me she was 18 and even showed her ID saying she was. I am so sorry. I won't see her again. Just so you know, she has been going to a 18 and up club where we met and I am 22. She told me she was in college studying and that this was her first year and she told me what campus she went to."

Teens young as 13 using fake ID to use Onlyfans.


https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/articl ... ntent.html

Kids dont realize doing this is going to be hurting others and the website. I can also understand why some adult websites get paranoid and will ban you if they think you look too young even if you are of age. They don't know you have fake ID. Adults will block other adults if they think you look too young even if you are of age. I got kicked out of an adult chat room once because they thought I was 14 when I was 29 at the time. To be fair, the laptop had poor video quality so you couldn't see my skin texture and I had my hair back. I was pissed because it was not a compliment to look 14 when you are 2 weeks away from being 30. Anyone under the age of 40 will look like a teen with filters and bad picture quality.

Both kinds of injustices exist.

The fact that child sex abuse is under-reported doesn't mean that false accusations don't exist too, nor does it necessarily mean that today's regime of sex offender registries and draconian punishments, even for some borderline cases as described by various people elsewhere in this thread, is necessarily the best response.

There might be better ways to prevent child sex abuse.

Not every accusation results in a prison sentence. Evidence, a trial, and a guilty verdict are necessary.

With advanced technology in the future, there might be better ways of handling specific cases of child abuse, but for right now, I wouldn’t change much in most states of the US.

I don’t believe this is the best way of PREVENTING child sex abuse, but I think it helps.

I’m done with this thread. It’s eaten up too much of my time, and we are obviously not going to agree if we haven’t done so already. We’ve debated, argued, and made no progress whatsoever towards seeing eye-to-eye.

(I’m saying this so you don’t waste your time in writing me a message or asking me a question that I won’t see, not to stir up controversy.)

Onlyfans and Tinder have both been accused of not supporting victims of their platforms. Men who have raped female users on tinder have been able to setup fake accounts so its impossible to trace them. It's likely many are repeat offenders. Both platforms simply claim they abide the government regulations as an excuse to not actively work with police to track and trace offenders. Based on the stories I have read, women who use Tinder are crazy given the risks. Teenagers are reckless and will put themselves at risk, especially if they don't fully understand the consequences. I suspect they think it's easy money.

No doubt there are older men who will prey on young sex workers who are newly adults because they are easy to prey on and manipulate. That means they can unknowingly go after minors too who used fake IDs. This is why websites like Onlyfans do not allow meet up.

I think that platform sucks anyway.