You basically have to drink alcohol to be a normal adult

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Joe90
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04 Jul 2022, 9:13 am

I remember a few Christmases ago I went to my aunt's for a family dinner, and my cousin, then 21, came round too. His friend lived near my aunt, so my cousin texted him and asked if he wanted to meet him. Being so it was Christmas day, all the local pubs and bars were closed, so my family were like "where are you going to go?" in a voice which meant "you're too old to loiter about in the streets like a teenager". So my cousin was like, "oh, we'll go to his house", and my family asked "to do what?" and he said "well we'll just have a few drinks..." and everyone was like "OK, that's cool."

It's like as adults, particularly men, you're "too old" to do things that don't involve drinking alcohol (unless you're driving or going to work of course, then all of a sudden it's immature if you do those things under the influence).

Also I remember one time a girl we knew who was 18 at the time, was loitering on a street corner with a group of friends, and the person I was with criticised her to me, said "isn't she a bit old to be loitering about like that?" So I replied, "what else is there to do?" and she said, "well she's old enough to go to the pub." I said "what if she doesn't want to go to the pub?" so then she said "it's just the done thing."

So basically if you're age 18 or over the only mature thing to do is to sit around in bars or at someone's house drinking alcohol. Women don't have to drink alcohol, as it's OK to drink tea, but men between about the ages of 18-30 must drink beers or other alcohol when they're hanging out with their friends.

So, basically, alcohol is the be all and end all in some cultures. Then again, drinking alcohol becomes immature if you don't drink it responsibly. Ahh, the rules are so precise!


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techstepgenr8tion
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04 Jul 2022, 9:25 am

Well, it's conformity. If you don't conform in every way imaginable you're a serial killer (particularly for men).

I think this is really Puritan 'brother/sister's keeper' behavior, ie. if you're not drinking alcohol with them they can't see what you're doing and if they can't see what you're doing it probably means you're either shooting smack into both your eyeballs or figuring out how you'll work you're way into prison for sexual assault.

People have no trust for one another and the only solution is that sort of coercion.

My luck was that I was already too far to the outside to where people of that sort really weren't paying much attention to whether I was alive or dead, that and the friends I had between 18 and 21 were ravers (dj's and promoters) in which case they weren't so hung up on alcohol that it's all we did, rather they had alternatives.

Even now though - I really don't like alcohol that much as it compares to other things. A craft IPA, shandy, or sour ale - sure, it's just that I won't be pounding a bunch of them to get a buzz. Give me the choice between a beer or hard drink vs. microdosing and I'd choose microdosing most days unless I just really haven't had a good beer in a while.

Also while alcohol's a crappy drug it's also true that it's really cheap and high-profit. David Nutt mentioned recently that he did see a botanical and amino combination which would do all of the same things alcohol did without the drawbacks - people already knew about it but didn't care because there was less profit in that.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:34 am

This is cultural. Even most of the Continent doesn't think this way. Perhaps the British Isles (and Canada on Victoria Day) should go into Collective Rehab. Fortunately I needn't fear traumatizing anyone with this suggestion as Amy Winehouse passed quite some time ago.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:42 am

Kind of a thing here too, unless one has a solid reason not to drink, like being pregnant or being on a medication that alcohol shouldn't be used with. I don't drink since I've yet to find any alcoholic beverage that would actually taste good, but people never got it. Last December I got on a new medication and the use of alcohol is discouraged while on it, so these days I just say that my medication prevents me from drinking and people are just "oh okay." :roll:



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04 Jul 2022, 9:46 am

I agree with you Joe90. When I was 18-30, I realised that when I went out with my friends/ to the pub, everyone was sitting carefully watching what I was drinking. If I 'just had soft drinks/water' I was mocked and looked down on. 'Have a proper drink' everyone said. Or they accused me of 'getting out of paying for my round'. Because apparently everyone has to take turns buying a round of drinks for everyone else??? We aren't allowed to just buy our own drinks separately.

Well I don't like alcohol and I don't want to drink it, thanks very much.

I haven't been to a pub for many years now, I'm luckily 50+ and confident enough to stick up for myself and my preferences. But what about these youngsters pressurised into drinking alcohol when they don't want to?

What's wrong with British people? They are obsessed with alcohol and getting so drunk they can't stand up. As far as I know, Europeans don't do that. They have alcohol with their meals and that's about it.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:50 am

Why would any adult want to be “normal?”

It sounds boring.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:52 am

Well there are historic aspects although no one thing tells the whole story. During the Industrial Revolution, Captains of Industry encouraged establishment of gin mills so that workers would be continually anesthetized and incapacitated, thus not presenting a thread to the established order. Later on, Licencing Hours were instituted which probably just made things worse.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:53 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Why would any adult want to be “normal?”

It sounds boring.

It's how they'll treat you if they don't view you as normal. It's a protection racket.


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04 Jul 2022, 9:54 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Why would any adult want to be “normal?”

It sounds boring.

Some of us do. If you've seen the Amazon Prime show "As We See It" you'll know what I mean. Am I normal? No idea but I don't GAF.


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04 Jul 2022, 10:01 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Why would any adult want to be “normal?”

It sounds boring.

It's how they'll treat you if they don't view you as normal. It's a protection racket.


I would avoid hanging out with those people.


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04 Jul 2022, 10:03 am

The alcohol culture is a very different one from what culture I participated in.

Do remember being invited to a couple parties in the high school and college years and finding myself very, very, VERY, bored when it turned out the "party" consisted primarily of sitting around drinking.

Mind bogglingly dull and uninteresting.

I stopped even attempting to participate in that culture and found another one to participate in.

'My tribes' turned out to be the miniatures game and role playing game tribe, and the model railway tribe.
Those parties involved the actual doing of interesting and fun activities.

But that was in the USofA.

I have seen in some of the UK narrowboater videos who I follow on YouTube that the drinking alcohol thing is big in the UK and a few of those YouTubers have spoken on that matter and how it really does need to get changed for the better.


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techstepgenr8tion
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04 Jul 2022, 10:22 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
I would avoid hanging out with those people.

Right, it's just hard to do much about if they're more than 80% of what's available. The way Joe90's expressing it as well - it's tough when those same people are your family and most people in your community.


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04 Jul 2022, 10:38 am

Yeah, functioning alcoholism is so totally "normal"! :roll: I'm a real kidult.



Joe90
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04 Jul 2022, 11:08 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
I would avoid hanging out with those people.

Right, it's just hard to do much about if they're more than 80% of what's available. The way Joe90's expressing it as well - it's tough when those same people are your family and most people in your community.


Yes, it's not always easy to choose the people to be around, especially in a culture where 99.99% of healthy non-religious adults rely on alcohol to socialise (which sounds ironic if you think about it from the eyes of an Aspie).

I feel that teetotalism is the social disorder I have, because if I drank alcohol I'd probably have a lot more friends and a busier social life, because drinking alcohol is part of being normal (in British culture) so even if you're different or have a disability that affects your social performance or whatever, if you drink alcohol then you'll fit in.

Alcoholism is at the severe end of the drinking spectrum, which can also be problematic and isolating. But most people just like in the middle. I am at the total opposite end from alcoholism but it is just as problematic and isolating as being a severe alcoholic.


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techstepgenr8tion
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04 Jul 2022, 11:15 am

Joe90 wrote:
Yes, it's not always easy to choose the people to be around, especially in a culture where 99.99% of healthy non-religious adults rely on alcohol to socialise (which sounds ironic if you think about it from the eyes of an Aspie).

I feel that teetotalism is the social disorder I have, because if I drank alcohol I'd probably have a lot more friends and a busier social life, because drinking alcohol is part of being normal (in British culture) so even if you're different or have a disability that affects your social performance or whatever, if you drink alcohol then you'll fit in.

Alcoholism is at the severe end of the drinking spectrum, which can also be problematic and isolating. But most people just like in the middle. I am at the total opposite end from alcoholism but it is just as problematic and isolating as being a severe alcoholic.

I sometimes really think aspies could forge good alliances with sigma males and sigma females in the NT populations (ie. alpha introverts). They're more likely to be pot heads than drinkers but they're also just generally doing much more interesting things and it won't be a perpetual discussion of sports-sports-sports-sports-sports or American Idol.


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04 Jul 2022, 11:32 am

techstepgenr8tion wrote:
Well, it's conformity. If you don't conform in every way imaginable you're a serial killer (particularly for men).

I think this is really Puritan 'brother/sister's keeper' behavior, ie. if you're not drinking alcohol with them they can't see what you're doing and if they can't see what you're doing it probably means you're either shooting smack into both your eyeballs or figuring out how you'll work you're way into prison for sexual assault.

People have no trust for one another and the only solution is that sort of coercion.

My luck was that I was already too far to the outside to where people of that sort really weren't paying much attention to whether I was alive or dead, that and the friends I had between 18 and 21 were ravers (dj's and promoters) in which case they weren't so hung up on alcohol that it's all we did, rather they had alternatives.

Even now though - I really don't like alcohol that much as it compares to other things. A craft IPA, shandy, or sour ale - sure, it's just that I won't be pounding a bunch of them to get a buzz. Give me the choice between a beer or hard drink vs. microdosing and I'd choose microdosing most days unless I just really haven't had a good beer in a while.

Also while alcohol's a crappy drug it's also true that it's really cheap and high-profit. David Nutt mentioned recently that he did see a botanical and amino combination which would do all of the same things alcohol did without the drawbacks - people already knew about it but didn't care because there was less profit in that.


Drinking is Puritan?????

I thought that abstaining from drinking was being Puritan. :lol: