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srcode
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Joined: 4 Jul 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Canada

04 Jul 2022, 11:31 pm

I abhor people coming to me for any types of relationship.

Men invade my body and Women invade my mind.

It is never for the betterment of the other party.
It is always for their own desire.

I feel very disgusted.

Does any aspie feel like this?



timf
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Joined: 25 Oct 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,040

05 Jul 2022, 6:06 am

If you are going to be able to connect with 2% of the population, you will have to meet and discard 49 people for every one that might be a friend. You can make things more tolerable by improving your discernment such that you can avoid most who would make such encounters unpleasant.



shortfatbalduglyman
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Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
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Posts: 9,751

05 Jul 2022, 9:01 am

"men invade my body"?

Please tell them to stop

If they refuse, avoid them

If you can't avoid them please report their behavior

Rape is a felony



srcode
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Joined: 4 Jul 2022
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 3
Location: Canada

05 Jul 2022, 10:10 am

In most places I ever worked, male coworkers touches me like my arm, shoulder, back, legs, hands, wrist etc. Females don't ever touch me. It is always men touching me unnecessarily. It is a daily occurrence.

They can't rape me because I end up either leaving the company or act mean around men who touch me.
I avoid being one on one with any men who is not my boyfriend for this reason.
I hate it so much....

In the previous job, an old man in about his 70s touched my leg and hands, so I complained to my female coworker. No help was provided. I quit the job.
Now, I work at a convention center. I end up working with people from staffing agencies. And every time, I work with those people, there is always a man touching my body parts.
Of course, they don't touch me in too private place. The parts they touch is not too private place, so I don't think I can report for every single touches.

Worst of all, I feel their dirty sexual energy and intention because this pattern keep occurring my whole life. I feel dirty for many days, months.

Doesn't matter even if the guy is handsome.
I feel violated.



Moloko
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Joined: 20 Jun 2022
Gender: Female
Posts: 12
Location: Washington State

05 Jul 2022, 10:41 am

Hi. This does not describe me, but I want to validate that it is ok to be a "loner." There is so much pressure to be a social creature but we are not all social.

The nonfiction book "A Stranger in the Woods" by Michael Finkle is an excellent and insightful exploration of a person who chose to live a completely isolated existence. The author does wonder whether the subject was autistic. The book also explores other loners, hermits, monks, etc. who chose an isolated life.

It is also possible that you want, or one day will want, human companionship. This should be done on your own terms with a clear set of boundaries that your companion can respect.

My father, for example, was autistic and he never had friends. He enjoyed sexual relationships and was married three times but did not spend much time with his spouses, instead isolating himself in his own world of books and whatever his other obsession of the moment was. I had a positive relationship with him for the most part, but I know it was not easy for him, and his other children were estranged from him.



shortfatbalduglyman
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Joined: 4 Mar 2017
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 9,751

07 Jul 2022, 8:36 pm

"thin line between love and hate", so I try to avoid them all

But sometimes I am a failure



Mona Pereth
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Location: New York City (Queens)

17 Jul 2022, 4:13 pm

srcode wrote:
In most places I ever worked, male coworkers touches me like my arm, shoulder, back, legs, hands, wrist etc.

Ugh! I'm very sorry to hear this.

srcode wrote:
Doesn't matter even if the guy is handsome.
I feel violated.

I would too. I certainly wouldn't want random co-workers touching me. (Luckily for me, I work from home.)

What would happen if you were to say to these men, "Please don't touch me" (in a gently assertive way, without being mean about it)?

Have you seen them touch other women co-workers too? If so, how do the other women respond?

Do they touch you only, or primarily, when you are alone with them, or also in the presence of other co-workers? (This might make a difference in terms of the best way to handle the situation.)


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