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Mountain Goat
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07 Jul 2022, 7:08 am

I have noticed how some people I know both online or offline tend to take the exact opposite view on whatever I say or write, even if what I write or say happens to be their exact view that they themselves had stated in the past so I assumed they would agree with me? Is there a term used for this? Is it a trait of somekind? People have these patterns in their character which I pick up and it amuses me but also can at times be a bit dull and predictable when one wants to make a comment and one tends to be like a magnet to their iron filing-like character as on this site or elsewhere such as real life, my views are nullified and others who do not pick up on these peoples traits are people who like to jump in on anyone who is down just because they can (Another different pattern I have noticed).

We are all different so naturally we all have different views, and some of us believe what we are told from official sources and others do not, and that is what makes life interesting.
Differences of oppinion are good. It is pleasing to listen other viewpoints to expand the subject being talked about, as this is how the western world governments are usually run though recent news with the UK government proves that this recent happening had been pre-planned for a while and it was not just some sort of random event in an effort by some to reverse Brexit which is why from both the main parties they wanted Borris out, but that is a different subject and please quote me and start a new thread about this if you want to give your views on that which I will enjoy reading in the future, as this thread is about the characters of those who always state the opposite views ad follow others around sites because their character does that. I don't believe at all it is purpousfully done. Is more that opposite oppinions start nice conversations in threads so one learns to do this as otherwize threads go dead... As if everyone agrees, there is nothing much to talk about! Haha! It does however puzzle me as to what the individuals thoughts and beliefs actually are because to define their own personaly thoughts and beliefs is difficult as they shift their oppinions to the opposite as ones own, much the way that others will mirror the oppinions of whatever they see in the news which is why I started another thread and found the replies very interesting, as the characters of the individuals are revealed.
Characters of people is something I tend to slot into groups so I can relate to them as I talk and I can predict how they will act and react. Not sure if this is an NT thing or an autistic thing but I find it useful because unpredictability is something which can cause me difficulty because I would like to decide outcomes and know what is going to happen before it does... Which is a trait all of us humans have as the most difficult people I tend to have issues with are those who have unpredictable tempers so one stays away from them because one can't prepare oneself for how they are going to react, and my Dad was like this so though he really loved me and I love him (He is no longer on this earth) I found my Mum much easier because she has always been her predictable self as I can almost know what she thinks because she thinks in ways like me.

I know an interesting character and others that know him too have played a prank on him big style (They did it just for fun and they did not mean anything bad by it), as he is an ex. military guy who would state opposites like I mentioned above but also everything one talks about he has been there and done that and has doneit bigger than anyone else as he brags up his army days in all he talks about. A real "During the war" type chap except he was never in any wars during his time (Which is a blessing as even the best of well trained soldiers does not really want to go into battle if they have a sane mind, though if battle comes they will be ready, though this guys role was more of a vital supply role to keep the soldiers in action contrary to the impression he gives if one is in a conversation with him and in no way do I want to belittle his vital role, as sometimes roles like this put one in more danger then the front lines as one can be a number one target by an enemy trying to cut off supplies as an easier method to try to win a battle). It his character these other guys took advantage of to play a prank on him, as they happened to steer the conversation about hunting and the guns they had used, and how they had used very big guns... Bait set in the conversation and his guns he claimed to se regularly got bigger ad bigger until even the largest guns ever shot by any military anywhere were small compared to what he claims he had used as he did not realize how they had played a prank on him as they were trying not to laugh! (He is a very nice guy actually and so are they. Just some friendly fun!)

I am wondering though if traits like this are there because of the long term effects due to the army training techniques (As he did spend a fair few years in the army), or if they were there in his character before he joined? Whatever te case is, he obviously has a lot of fond memories and his time in the army has had a significent impression on his life.

For me my time on the railways was something like that but obviously in different ways and the railways had lotsnof different roles and characters and actually due to the great many different types of roles and people involved to make them work, was just like an army as soldiers are only a small part of a great number of people in different roles of what is needed to go to war as there are a great number of hidden tasks involved in both subjects, and it takes great skill in matching the right people to the right roles so that they will thrive.

Different peoples characters are needed and a blessing!



Joe90
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07 Jul 2022, 8:35 am

Your post was too long but by reading a couple of paragraphs I can relate. Talking with people offline is easier because they tend to agree and if they don't agree it's usually for an understandable reason and doesn't make me feel embarrassed or like I said something wrong or stupid. On WP if I post about a thought some people here seem to have to disagree and not understand what I mean or why I feel that way. It's like they're missing the emotion and just giving lectures or taking the other party's side whatever the situation is. It's like as an Aspie you are always the scapegoat, the jerk, the clueless psycho or something, when sometimes it isn't always that way.
Like for example if an Aspie said here that they were just sitting on a chair reading and minding their own business and their NT roommate just kept annoying them for no reason and then the Aspie reacted by yelling or something, the responses here would be things like "maybe they didn't want you sitting there/they probably wanted you to get annoyed maybe because they were bored or something/maybe they wanted the book and got frustrated that you didn't notice their body language - but you shouldn't have yelled as it probably hurt their feelings". But if an Aspie posted a situation where they were annoying an NT who was just sitting on a chair reading and minding their own business and then got upset because the NT yelled, the responses here would be "by going around annoying innocent people like that you are going to lose friends, if you were bored then you could have done something else instead of annoying them like that/if you were non-verbally letting them know that you wanted the book then you should have asked as they can't read your mind/etc". You can never win, the NT always has an excuse to be annoying but the Aspie never has an excuse. We're always expected, by each other, to go around treading very carefully as not to upset any NTs but it's acceptable or reasonable if an NT decides to upset an Aspie.

This is why I hate being on the spectrum. You can't do anything without being wrong.


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Mountain Goat
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07 Jul 2022, 9:11 am

So how can we change that as I have kinda spent half my life working out ways in trying to make myself noticed and to try and "Fit in" and failing miserably so by the time I reached around 37 years old I said to myself "Forget it! I am me and if others don't like it, they can be the ones to change"... But that alienates people from me unless they specifically want something, which can all be a one way thing (Not always as some people can be exceedingly generous but you get the idea).

Now one thing now I am older (Don't forget that even though I am not sure if I am on the spectrum or if I am just on my own with no defininition or anything to compare me to other than my Mum is somewhat like me in that we think in similar ways BUT I am a very visual thinker so I convert what is said into pictures or viiews of scenes while she thinks by converting everything into words even if she does maths... If she wants to understand a maths equasion she will write it down like "Three times six equals..." and I will put them into patterns of dots in my mind which I can't show here but think of dice and multiples of dice using different bases (As my patterns of thougts are not in base 10, and so I have two or more different bases going on to convert in my mind before I come out with the answer and my spoken and written vocabluary is quite limited while my Mum is a walking and talking dictionary of broadness in her vocabularlyfrom a very early age onwards).

I came to the conclusion though that to change my character to make me "Fit in" would put such stress on me I would not survive as I have spent most of my life trying to fit in and it wore me out multiplied because no matter how I tries and what angle I had approached from it never really worked for long as whatever I did did not change me but only masked who I was, and later on in my life (Not that I am that old) I started to grow to like myself and adjust to being who I am and to thinking "It is ok to be who I am regardless of what others think!"

So that is where I am right now.



babybird
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07 Jul 2022, 9:19 am

I only really put a person right if I care about them. For most people I would just leave them to it and let them keep digging themselves a hole but if I see someone who I genuinely care about doing or saying something that may be detrimental to themselves then I will say something to them to try and make them stop and think.

This isn't always an easy thing to do to be honest because sometimes that person may become hostile.

I do it both on and offline.



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07 Jul 2022, 10:33 am

The topic seems interesting but I don't fully understand what the OP means.

Is it about those people that predictably disagree with other people?

If so, yes, there are people like that, and I know the reason why.



KitLily
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07 Jul 2022, 10:54 am

Mountain Goat wrote:
I have noticed how some people I know both online or offline tend to take the exact opposite view on whatever I say or write, even if what I write or say happens to be their exact view that they themselves had stated in the past so I assumed they would agree with me?


I get that All. The. Time.

I think some people just like to disagree, even when it's really stupid. I often make a blatantly sensible suggestion e.g. don't leave your child alone in a ground floor room with the windows opening onto a busy street. To me that seems obviously sensible: the child could climb out; someone could climb in etc. etc.

But my friend said 'can't you open the windows and let the air through? It's such a hot day. Nothing would go wrong.'

I explained my point of view but she insisted it would be safe to leave my child in the room alone in that situation.

There's no telling some people.

So what I do now is, just say 'yes!' and carry on talking about my own point of view, basically ignoring theirs. It works wonderfully with NTs. I think they are expecting me to do that, instead of reacting to their point of view.

It is worth a try.


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Joe90
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07 Jul 2022, 11:57 am

babybird wrote:
I only really put a person right if I care about them. For most people I would just leave them to it and let them keep digging themselves a hole but if I see someone who I genuinely care about doing or saying something that may be detrimental to themselves then I will say something to them to try and make them stop and think.

This isn't always an easy thing to do to be honest because sometimes that person may become hostile.

I do it both on and offline.


It's not always what you (a person) respond though, it's how you respond. If you respond with anger in a way that looks like the other person has said something bad or offensive or even stupid, then they're not going to appreciate it. If you put them right but still sounding like you're on their side or that you're not having a go at them then it's OK.
But if you had the right intentions then I guess that counts.


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babybird
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07 Jul 2022, 1:23 pm

You're talking about inference. Sometimes you just have to read what is written and take the emotion out of it.

There are a lot more things going on in a person's mind than you might might think when they are responding to posts online. It's not always right to just assume anger or hate.

What about disappointment, disbelief, confusion. All these things could make someone respond by using language that may come across as negative.

My dad (may he rest in peace) didn't speak to me for months once. It was really difficult. I thought he was really angry with me over something I had done but it was because he was just really disappointed in me. I had let him down and he just couldn't bring himself to speak to me. I just let things run its course and didn't push him and it was fine in the end.

It is different online though.

I think someone once suggested putting mood emoticons on posts.



babybird
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07 Jul 2022, 1:30 pm

I know I've gone off your topic MG. Apologies



Mountain Goat
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07 Jul 2022, 1:41 pm

babybird wrote:
I know I've gone off your topic MG. Apologies


Carry on... all is ok. It is what these chat threads are for. Talking about things. :)