When Facebook groups don't accept you

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Earthbound_Alien
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14 Jul 2022, 12:16 am

KitLily wrote:
Yes, some people offer advice from a good heart, but some just want to fire advice to shut us up, I've found.

Another thing that annoys me is that 99% of the time I'm calm and kind but if I have one bad day I'm dismissed and excluded. We're allowed to have a bad day.

But hey ho, we keep plodding on don't we :)


bad days are inevitable



KitLily
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14 Jul 2022, 5:33 am

Earthbound_Alien wrote:
KitLily wrote:
Yes, some people offer advice from a good heart, but some just want to fire advice to shut us up, I've found.

Another thing that annoys me is that 99% of the time I'm calm and kind but if I have one bad day I'm dismissed and excluded. We're allowed to have a bad day.

But hey ho, we keep plodding on don't we :)


bad days are inevitable


Exactly! We are allowed to have bad days FFS. We shouldn't have to be perfect 24/7! If people can't accept that a calm, kind person has one bad day every so often, they aren't really your friend!


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lostonearth35
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15 Jul 2022, 11:49 am

Actually, I don't accept *them*.

Such as any Facebook group that is religious and posts things like god loves me and all that kind of BS.

Or anything about politics or celebrities. Unless Garfield and Oscar the Grouch count as celebrities. :)

And of course, the many groups of insane people who think autism is a terrible disease, vaccines are evil, and that everything can be cured by drinking bleach or by putting pieces of cut up potatoes in your socks. :roll:



KitLily
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15 Jul 2022, 2:20 pm

lostonearth35 wrote:
Actually, I don't accept *them*.

Such as any Facebook group that is religious and posts things like god loves me and all that kind of BS.

Or anything about politics or celebrities. Unless Garfield and Oscar the Grouch count as celebrities. :)

And of course, the many groups of insane people who think autism is a terrible disease, vaccines are evil, and that everything can be cured by drinking bleach or by putting pieces of cut up potatoes in your socks. :roll:


That is a wise attitude, because there are so many nutters on Facebook who are best avoided.

I recently read something much worse about where to put cut up potatoes to cure things 8O :lol:


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Mona Pereth
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17 Jul 2022, 11:40 pm

If you are looking for a place to brainstorm about how to deal with bad neighbors -- and if you don't want said neighbors to see your posts and recognize your name -- then I would strongly suggest posting somewhere other than Facebook, where people are required to use their legal names.

I would suggest that you find an appropriate subreddit, or something, and post there using a pseudonym.


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Joe90
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17 Jul 2022, 11:57 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
If you are looking for a place to brainstorm about how to deal with bad neighbors -- and if you don't want said neighbors to see your posts and recognize your name -- then I would strongly suggest posting somewhere other than Facebook, where people are required to use their legal names.

I would suggest that you find an appropriate subreddit, or something, and post there using a pseudonym.


None of my neighbours even know our names and we don't know their's. We don't even know what our upstairs neighbours look like as they never come out. I doubt they'll find us on Facebook, if they're even on it at all. My privacy settings are activated so without adding me as a friend you can't see what I do or what groups I belong to. And most Facebook groups are private and posts can only be seen if you're added.


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Mona Pereth
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29 Jul 2022, 8:28 pm

Joe90 wrote:
None of my neighbours even know our names and we don't know their's.

Maybe things are different in the U.K., but here in the U.S.A., or at least here in NYC, if you live in an apartment building, you can easily find out your neighbors' last names (and likewise they can easily find out yours) by simply looking at the mailboxes.


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techstepgenr8tion
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29 Jul 2022, 8:48 pm

Sometimes it's a ghost group in which case it just got abandoned.

Other times, quite often, you'll run into The Muppet Show or you'll have people doing really strange things (a given well-known group on FB for observant non-aligned politics prohibits videos, I don't 'meme' because it's too much like scratching myself down low without actually delivering anything better than a platitude - I asked him politely behind the scenes what I needed to do to get it posted, he was asking for summary or proof of having watched it, he approved one, failed the rest after following his directions - so I left when I figured out that this was how it was going to be).

I'm slowly learning what my parents always told me (which directly cut across the grain of my 'You have ASD' training) to just not care what people think or why they're weird. It's worth knowing if they're predatory-weird rather quickly and the parameters around how that works but if people get set off by you because.... who the heck knows... you use words that have two 'e's together and they can't stand that, mark em down as freaks and move on. The alternative is taking yourself apart by taking direction from other people's malware.


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30 Jul 2022, 1:18 am

Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
None of my neighbours even know our names and we don't know their's.

Maybe things are different in the U.K., but here in the U.S.A., or at least here in NYC, if you live in an apartment building, you can easily find out your neighbors' last names (and likewise they can easily find out yours) by simply looking at the mailboxes.


We don't have mailboxes here, our mail gets posted through the letterboxes in our doors.


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KitLily
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30 Jul 2022, 5:44 am

Joe90 wrote:
Mona Pereth wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
None of my neighbours even know our names and we don't know their's.

Maybe things are different in the U.K., but here in the U.S.A., or at least here in NYC, if you live in an apartment building, you can easily find out your neighbors' last names (and likewise they can easily find out yours) by simply looking at the mailboxes.


We don't have mailboxes here, our mail gets posted through the letterboxes in our doors.


When I lived in a flat, we had mailboxes but they just had the number of the flat on it, no other identity. I prefer not to put my name on the mailbox, I don't want people targeting me.


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kraftiekortie
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30 Jul 2022, 6:03 am

Many apartment buildings in NYC have names attached visibly to individual apartments. But more “modern” apartments usually don’t.