Matchmaker Matchmaker

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Where_am_I
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Location: London

28 Jul 2022, 12:07 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:

Where_am_I wrote:

:lol: Stop imagining men saying everything I say!

Yes, context is important. :lol:

Precisely!

I should probably make WP members aware I do not endorse violence and only hurt flies. Spiders too, depending on how frightened I am at the time.

Happy now, Face of Boob? You've KILLED my sense of humour!

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

The_Face_of_Boo
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28 Jul 2022, 12:54 pm

Where_am_I wrote:

Happy now, Face of Boob?

Where_am_I
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29 Jul 2022, 5:18 am

Searching for anything extraterrestrial to connect with.

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

SpaceMartian
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Joined: 5 Jan 2022
Gender: Male
Posts: 89
Location: Internet

29 Jul 2022, 7:50 am

Proud new owner of a big-ish freezer, looking for someone that may fit in it and stay for a week.
If you think you won't fit, you can bring a chainsaw with you.

Where_am_I
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30 Jul 2022, 3:52 am

Seeking a real life human centipede for companionship. Must enjoy jogging, mountain climbing, ice skating, bouncy castles and anything else that'll have me in fits of laughter.

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

TwilightPrincess
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Location: Elysium

30 Jul 2022, 10:56 am

I’m looking for a polyamorous relationship involving various members of WP. Must be up-to-date on rabies shots and have a negligible criminal record.

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Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.

Pat.C
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Joined: 30 Jul 2022
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 54

30 Jul 2022, 11:04 am

I don't have any rabies shots. And My criminal record, although clean, has been marked by a few bouts of kleptomania. And my feet are normal size...errr what is this thread about now? Are you people serious? cause I am. I'm looking for a Blonde, brunette, or dark haired lady, must be either below 4ft, or above 6ft, anywhere from the age range 18 to 19 and half.... ideally, must have a mean temper and beat me everyday till I cry.

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Nobody likes me. It's all my fault. I never get a text. Never ever get a call. I cry all the night. Makes me sad, makes me mad. Way too late can't can't make up for it now. All the hate has built up. Sigh. People hate me a lot, People hate my family, People even hate my dog Spot!! ! Yes, even Spot!

Where_am_I
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Location: London

02 Aug 2022, 11:47 am

Searching for a wide, 4ft tall human....to rest my handbags on. Must remain horizontal at all times.

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

TwilightPrincess
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02 Aug 2022, 8:45 pm

78 year old seeks cute, lively 22 year old. A background in nursing is preferred.

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Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.

Where_am_I
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Location: London

03 Aug 2022, 4:37 pm

Searching for a man with a good heart. Must be willing to donate his heart when he dies.

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

IsabellaLinton
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Location: Chez Quis

03 Aug 2022, 5:01 pm

Percy Shelley? ^

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And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Where_am_I
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04 Aug 2022, 12:49 am

:lol:

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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis

TwilightPrincess
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05 Aug 2022, 8:12 pm

I’m a good, fundamentalist Christian woman. I’m looking for a guy that’s a good provider who would be a strong spiritual guide, disciplining me and our 10+ children as the need arises. Must come equipped with a rod. (A career in manual labor is preferred.)

_________________
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.

kraftiekortie
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Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

05 Aug 2022, 11:03 pm

A Man of Chivalry seeks a Damsel who’s never in Distress. Long braids a big plus.

CockneyRebel
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