What Qualities Do You Look For In A Partner?

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A woman has to be extremely attractive or I aint going to marry her.

The qualities that I have.

With him I can discuss at least half the books I read.

Years later he still gives me butterflies.

I had that on my list too.
I like feeling a bit nervous or excited, and having "butterflies" with partners.
That's what attraction is all about.

Someone thought that I meant nervous = afraid.
It's not that at all.
It's about still having those butterflies years after meeting them.

There's only one person who has ever been able to do that for me.
I've known them almost four years and I still flutter every single time.

The butterflies thing seems to me to be based on initial attraction & infatuation & those feelings can waft & wane depending on numerous factors. Lots of people get in relationships based on those feelings & some even rush into marriage based on those feelings only to split up shortly after because they had their 1st fight or they started seeing the person when they were not dressing up nice. I value much more substantive things when it comes to relationships like mutual respect, trust, sense of loyalty, & willingness to try & deal with disagreements & fights together instead of wanting to split the moment we don't agree on something. I expect people to have very bad days sometimes & not look their best nor be on their best behavior when around me. I want to see them at their worst & I want to be able to be at my worst with them sometimes. Nobody is perfect after all(I'm sure as hell extremely far from perfection) & the most perfect person for me is an imperfect one who can handle the both of us not being perfect. It's all about us both being able to be ourselves together instead of feeling like we have to fake it or put on an act so neither of us will fall out of love & suddenly decide to run away to our mom & the other has to apologize, promise to change, beg, & perform a grand romantic gesture to so we can both be home together

Last edited by nick007 on 27 Aug 2022, 7:28 am, edited 4 times in total.

Well said, nick007.

I’ve certainly expressed here that I’m a flawed human. My sort of maybe/hopefully (not sure?) boyfriend certainly isn’t perfect, either. Behavioural diagnoses, drug addiction that need to be broken again - yet I can accept/look passed these things and like them for who they are. I’m sure he must feel similarly about my various quirks or he wouldn’t be interested.

I say not sure because we haven’t put a formal label on being in a relationship just yet - kinda ? - but agreed not to sleep with other ppl while we take things slow and figure out what sort of relationship dynamic may work for us.

I suppose I could say for both of us that we’re attracted to opposites.. which makes for such an interesting/odd relationship dynamic. He’s trans (ftm, testosterone no surgeries and no plans for them) and mostly into girls, I’m gay and mostly into cis gays - but have been with girls/trans before. And here we are now really liking each other, knowing we’re oddly Very sexually compatible, and having conversations about longer term things like the possibility of living together in the future. Even though that’s at minimum several months away I think they’re healthy conversations to have - we have know each other for a year and been fwb for half that time. Good to know where we stand on many different topics, IMO.

But yeah.. like I said earlier: I’m mostly attracted to red flags lol and when it might just be right I can look passed them to possibilities of a better future based on who someone is, not what their current circumstances are. And for some reason I can accept that all of this will be a pita for both of us and am willing to roll with it w/o much complaint.

I look for someone that wants to hunt fish camp shoot plink play airsoft and be a doomsday prepper and paintball and collect guns as a family with our kids starting at age 5 or so.

Makes fun noises

Loves to cuddle

Has a unique face

Too bad I don't have a twin brother to set you up with cuz I'm taken

Usually I attract men much older than me. It's very rare that a man in his 30s will look at me twice. I don't think men my age like tomboys unless they're into sports (which I'm not). Older men, in their 50s and 60s, are attracted to me and often give me compliments that I'm beautiful. I think the older men get the more they understand natural beauty or inner beauty, rather than women with make-up on.

I don't find myself attracted to many men in their 30s either, unless they're fat/overweight. I find thin, tall 30-something-year-old men with a neat beard all look the same and just don't attract me.

I look for someone whose parents are still married and never divorced.Also the woman has to be never married with no kids.I look for someone who does not believe in tipping.

He needs to be sweet, kind ,childlike, funny and cool

I'm STILL looking...

Likes classical music

You have a lot of very specific and rigid requirements for someone who's totally controlled by his parents and can't live independently.

I'm not being nasty, just realistic.

I just want to be with a woman who's sweet, caring, funny, smart, outdoorsy, and shares some of the same interests as I do. I don't care too much about looks, but I really adore a cute face.