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oklol123
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31 Jul 2022, 6:09 am

i haven't been around people that isn't my family for two years because i've been doing online school and haven't talked to anyone, but in about 2 weeks i have to go back to real life school around people again and just being around people gives me such bad anxiety that i feel dizzy and like i'm not in my own body. not to mention i'm bad at making just simple small talk and keeping eye contact. does anyone know anything that can help that panicky anxiety unreal feeling go away and does anyone have any masking tips? i know that i shouldn't mask because of how exhausting it can be, but i feel like i'll need to just to get through this last year of school.


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naturalplastic
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31 Jul 2022, 6:56 am

We strangers online cant do much to help you.

Maybe you can get some social worker to escort you around in person- for a while- to observe, and support you, in whatever realm youre going go into (work or school).

But alone, or with help, its import to GET OUT THERE, expect pain, take your lumps, and keep at it. And you will eventually learn how to interact with folks.



KitLily
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31 Jul 2022, 7:34 am

I empathise with you, I haven't been out much for the last 2 or 3 years, I've lost my social skills.

I remember another time when I hadn't been out of the house or met anyone for years, and I went to a Pilates class. It was so weird being in a room with other people after being alone for so long.

So what I did was keep really quiet and try not to say anything inappropriate, just restrict myself to pleasantries and just listen to what people said. As I got to know the people in the class, I said a bit more each time.

Does that help at all? Just keeping quiet and low key for a while until you get more confident.


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Double Retired
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31 Jul 2022, 8:53 am

Maybe think of it as a safari to observe "wildlife"?

Don't stare at anyone but sort of watch how everyone else behaves, as if you are a scientist trying to learn about them.

And:

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to— ABRAHAM LINCOLN.


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KitLily
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31 Jul 2022, 8:54 am

Double Retired wrote:
Maybe think of it as a safari to observe "wildlife"?

Don't stare at anyone but sort of watch how everyone else behaves, as if you are a scientist trying to learn about them.

And:

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to— ABRAHAM LINCOLN.


Those are brilliant tips! I like the scientist one!


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naturalplastic
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31 Jul 2022, 8:59 am

That IS a good way to think of it. Imagine that youre Jane Goodall. And that the folks you amidst are ...the chimps of the Gombe Stream Reserve! :lol:



MBlokzyl
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31 Jul 2022, 9:46 am

oklol123 wrote:
i haven't been around people that isn't my family for two years because i've been doing online school and haven't talked to anyone, but in about 2 weeks i have to go back to real life school around people again and just being around people gives me such bad anxiety that i feel dizzy and like i'm not in my own body. not to mention i'm bad at making just simple small talk and keeping eye contact. does anyone know anything that can help that panicky anxiety unreal feeling go away and does anyone have any masking tips? i know that i shouldn't mask because of how exhausting it can be, but i feel like i'll need to just to get through this last year of school.


For me, the masking is completely automatic but I have had 50 years of practice. For eye contact, I have actually integrated that into my Mask. I can force myself to do appropriate eye contact but it’s a great effort. Starting out, I used to make quick eye contact, then to make it seem like I was thinking I would quickly look off to the left or right.



KitLily
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31 Jul 2022, 10:47 am

My problem is that I look people in the eye too much! I'm trying to work out what they're going to do next or if I need to respond. They get very uncomfortable with this, so I've learned to look away most of the time and only look them in the eye when listening to them.


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I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


oklol123
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31 Jul 2022, 12:25 pm

thank you all :)


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