Hello, my name is Anemoshii and I found this forum while searching for resources about autism. I received my diagnosis about five years ago, though I recently had more official psych testing done recently to see about confirming this as well as testing for ADHD and other things. I was bullied throughout elementary school and I struggled greatly in middle and high school due to severe panic disorder, depression, and social anxiety disorder.
Now my biggest obstacle is the depression. I spent 45 days in residential treatment last fall followed by about 12 weeks combined of day treatment/partial hospitalization. That took up all of fall and winter this past year, and now I’m trying to figure out a job situation. I just finished a coding bootcamp so that’s potentially a field I’ll be getting into, but I’m not feeling very hopeful about it. I’ve had over 25 jobs since I graduated high school and I struggle with keeping them and not impulsively quitting the second I get burned out.
And aside from all that loveliness, I struggle the most with a profound sense of loneliness and isolation. I very much feel I wasn’t meant for this world, that my existence is a mistake, or that I am fundamentally flawed in a way that is incomparable to all human beings who have ever lived. That’s why I joined this forum, because the name of it was so immediately relatable. I’m glad to be here and hopefully will be able to connect with some shared experiences and perspectives with other members.