L & D - To What Extent Can We Discuss Gender Differences?

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Discussions centred around which gender has it better or worse at dating serve no useful purpose, and only divide people. I agree with the ruling to ban such discussions.

But it seems like we're now also not allowed to talk about differing average outcomes between heterosexual men and women as it relates to dating, and the reasons for those differences and trends, as doing so can be perceived by some as a "which gender has it better?" discussion.

So my question is, where is the line between examining and acknowledging social trends and different outcomes that come from them, and breaking this rule?

For instance, in response to somebody asserting that both genders have similar experiences with online dating, am I not allowed to say things like on average, the online dating profiles of one gender tend to receive more messages and engagement than that of the other gender? Even if I have reputably sourced data to substantiate that claim?

And if I'm not allowed to do that, how do I voice my disagreement with that claim? Do I have to just stay silent and let the other person's assertion go unchallenged despite it being incorrect?

Am I not allowed to talk about how one gender is disproportionately impacted by all manners of domestic and sexual abuse in relation to the other?

Am I not allowed to talk about a study that found the virginity rates for young adults of one gender are drastically rising compared to that of members of the other gender?

Can I not talk about how one gender tends to get shamed for virginity while the other tends to get shamed for promiscuity?

At what point does examining differing average outcomes between genders become a "who has it better" discussion?

Where is that line?

Studies about social science don’t mean a damn thing to me.

People tend to use them as an excuse to not continue trying.

Results of social science studies don’t apply to me.

Yes, we have double standards in this society—such as women being lambasted for promiscuity, while men aren’t.

Gender politics is a minefield. I don’t bother with it.

And expressing gender generalities is useless—because most don’t apply to me. And most don’t apply to individual women, either.

Both men and women get irritated when somebody assumes something about an individual person, based upon generalities which form the results of social science studies.

So what if the results of social science studies say one thing. Social science studies create a composite person which probably doesn’t apply to most people.

It’s better if you discuss yourself without referring to social science studies. They are “applied science,” rather than “hard science.”

And don’t assume a man or woman has had the experience in life which was supposedly “preordained” via the results of social science studies.

Just because “45% of autistic people remain virgins at age 30” doesn’t mean you will remain a virgin at age 30. Thinking that you’re the result of social science studies will probably provide “confirmation bias” for you, so that you still remain a virgin at age 30.

The best thing is to be you, not a composite of a social science study.

Why would anyone want to discuss "Gender Differences", anyway?  Before you post anything on the topic of "Gender Differences", you should probably first ask yourself the following questions:

• Is it True?
• Is it Necessary?
• Is it Helpful?

If the answer is 'No' to any of these questions, then maybe what you want to post about "Gender Differences" is better left unposted.  So if what you want to post relies on false stereotypes, personal opinions, and irrelevant data, it likely does not belong on this website.

 Reference 

If all genders treated everyone like people, rather than a member of a particular gender, we would go a long way.

Women shouldn't be a mystery to men. Men shouldn't be a mystery to women. Nonbinary people shouldn't be a mystery to men and women, etc.

I can commiserate with you. It’s tough to be in your shoes. I didn’t have my first real relationship until I was 25, and we never slept together. I know what it’s like to be lonely.

If we make this about gender, it becomes a boys’ club which is not ideal for our female posters. This is why it’s, rightfully, not allowed.

You can express your struggles and feelings without invalidating those of others.

It’s really good that you’re helping with the trivia thing.

This situation is a decent opportunity to meet someone.

I don’t believe statistics “demystifies” anything. It’s good that you feel like they demystify things for you….as long as you don’t consider these statistics to be gospel.

My feeling is that you’ve had bad luck.