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KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 11:24 am

Jamesy wrote:
Majority of people my own age don't want include me in there friendship groups but people over 40 except me a lot more :?


I'm the same, except now I'm 50+ it's people over 70 who seem to accept me. Or younger people, maybe under 30. It's very odd.


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Jamesy
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03 Aug 2022, 11:29 am

KitLily wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Majority of people my own age don't want include me in there friendship groups but people over 40 except me a lot more :?


I'm the same, except now I'm 50+ it's people over 70 who seem to accept me. Or younger people, maybe under 30. It's very odd.




Most of my friends used to be younger than me like early 20s five years ago or around my own age at least but not anymore. I am stuck with old folks these days which really sucks when your only in your early 30s.


Mind you I think the younger people were not true friends at all and least for you people under 30 accept you which is not the case for me. People under 30 either take the piss out of me or label me a pedophile when I try and Socialise with them.

One of my current love interests is 68 and another 59 8O



KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 11:38 am

Jamesy wrote:
Most of my friends used to be younger than me like early 20s five years ago or around my own age at least but not anymore. I am stuck with old folks these days which really sucks when your only in your early 30s.

Mind you I think the younger people were not true friends at all and least for you people under 30 accept you which is not the case for me. People under 30 either take the piss out of me or label me a pedophile when I try and Socialise with them.


Yes that does sound annoying. Hopefully the old folks are young in outlook and not too staid.

I guess that's where I'm fortunate to be a woman: I'm unlikely to be labelled a paedophile when I talk to young people. They more likely see me as their mother. It's harder for men to make friends with other people due to that situation, perhaps?

I'm not sure what to suggest, as I'm hopeless at making friends myself. Hm. I will think about it.


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babybird
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03 Aug 2022, 11:45 am

Jamesy wrote:
babybird wrote:
Why do you want to be included with people who obviously don't want to include you.



Because I would actually like to have some friends who are my own age for once.


I mean how would you feel if all your friends and also love interests we elderly compared to you?


I'm not disputing your predicament. I'm just curious as to why you keep trying with this particular group who clearly don't want you in their group. I think the old man may have a point.


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Jamesy
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03 Aug 2022, 11:46 am

KitLily wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Most of my friends used to be younger than me like early 20s five years ago or around my own age at least but not anymore. I am stuck with old folks these days which really sucks when your only in your early 30s.

Mind you I think the younger people were not true friends at all and least for you people under 30 accept you which is not the case for me. People under 30 either take the piss out of me or label me a pedophile when I try and Socialise with them.


Yes that does sound annoying. Hopefully the old folks are young in outlook and not too staid.

I guess that's where I'm fortunate to be a woman: I'm unlikely to be labelled a paedophile when I talk to young people. They more likely see me as their mother. It's harder for men to make friends with other people due to that situation, perhaps?

I'm not sure what to suggest, as I'm hopeless at making friends myself. Hm. I will think about it.



If young people under 30 see you as there mother what would they see me as when trying to socalise with them? A father figure perhaps?

Predictably it's usually other young men who point the pedophile slur at me. Although a year when I said to this woman who is also 32 "Age is just a number" she called me a kiddy fiddler"



Last edited by Jamesy on 03 Aug 2022, 11:50 am, edited 3 times in total.

Jamesy
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03 Aug 2022, 11:47 am

babybird wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
babybird wrote:
Why do you want to be included with people who obviously don't want to include you.



Because I would actually like to have some friends who are my own age for once.


I mean how would you feel if all your friends and also love interests we elderly compared to you?


I'm not disputing your predicament. I'm just curious as to why you keep trying with this particular group who clearly don't want you in their group. I think the old man may have a point.


One of the people in the young group I have known for 22 years and went to school with him as well.



Last edited by Jamesy on 03 Aug 2022, 11:50 am, edited 1 time in total.

klanka
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03 Aug 2022, 11:50 am

I have good friends who are older, and acquaintances in their twenties at church. But hardly anyone my own age.



KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 3:13 pm

Jamesy wrote:
If young people under 30 see you as there mother what would they see me as when trying to socalise with them? A father figure perhaps?


I don't know. You said they called you a paedophile. I think you'd have to be old with grey hair for them to see you as a father figure.

Jamesy wrote:
Predictably it's usually other young men who point the pedophile slur at me. Although a year when I said to this woman who is also 32 "Age is just a number" she called me a kiddy fiddler"


Such people sound like ones to avoid IMO. They sound immature. Maybe the fact that older people like you is a compliment: you're too mature for those your age.


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jack7878
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19 Oct 2022, 8:18 am

no one would ever have any friends. So, no you're friend is not right.



CockneyRebel
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19 Oct 2022, 8:29 am

Your friend is in the wrong.


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Jakki
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19 Oct 2022, 9:01 am

Hmmm…. Sorry about the group closer to your own age , not fond of the Pub crowd , but hanging out with older
Persons can sometimes have a larger frame of reference to speak from . But that is no guarantee that their advise
Is very good . They can also be better at manipulating situations for their own reasons . So eventually probably be
Best Using your own best judgement .


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jimmyjazzuk
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24 Oct 2022, 7:57 pm

I was very unassertive and i used to never make the first contact but i did still like to be contacted. However Id gauge it by their reaction to your advances.



blitzkrieg
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03 Nov 2022, 5:55 pm

Having elderly friends is better than having no friends. In fact, it can be as good or better than having younger friends. Don't be so ageist. :wink:



naturalplastic
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03 Nov 2022, 7:20 pm

Jamesy wrote:
babybird wrote:
Why do you want to be included with people who obviously don't want to include you.



Because I would actually like to have some friends who are my own age for once.


I mean how would you feel if all your friends and also love interests we elderly compared to you?


Absolutely.

you're not being 'ageist'.

Those are legit reasons to seek friends your own age.

But apparently you're just too socially inept to make friends your own age. Or cant do it in that venue (a pub).

Maybe you should look into interest groups (maybe the nerdier the better), or clubs. And spend less time in drinking establishments.



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04 Nov 2022, 9:55 am

I go to the pub every Friday and Saturday and during the week I volunteer.

Is going to pub twice a week to much?



kraftiekortie
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04 Nov 2022, 10:12 am

What about hanging out with the people you volunteer with?