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Aet1985
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02 Aug 2022, 3:23 pm

I have been wondering lately but I don't know how to explain it, is it a Aspie issue that we can't ''take on'' to much at one time? a few examples are my senior year a lot of the people were in such a hurry to get married, have many kids, high paying job and just the ''American Dream'' in general, but with me many years later I feel I had enough responsibility growing up, and now I am taking care of my father but he is getting better, and then wants me to look for a job, I know NT's get stressed but I noticed they handle it better, in the meantime I would probably get bad acid reflux, heart pains or just sick in general



Dear_one
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02 Aug 2022, 3:44 pm

I have burnt out from taking on too much in dealing with a variety of unpredictable people. I have also accomplished years of work at NT speed in just a few months when dealing with technical matters I understood.



klanka
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02 Aug 2022, 3:45 pm

I prefer to focus on one thing at a time.

I could function in my 20's with a little assistance (my brother got me a job), but could do all the normal stuff.

If my job was my special interest I think I could function very well. But in an unspecialised job I would go nuts.



Joe90
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03 Aug 2022, 3:56 am

I assume senior year means last year of high school.

Wow, wherever you're from kids are in a hurry to grow up. During my last year of high school (age 15-16) all the kids were worried about was passing their exams.


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babybird
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03 Aug 2022, 4:45 am

I didn't get a sense of responsibility until I was well in my 30s. I though that jobs and bills and keeping house were things that happened to other people. I lived a kind of parasitic, nomadic lifestyle.

It's only really been in this last 15 years that I've settled down. I mean most of what I do is for my daughters sake so I know that if it wasn't for her I wouldn't have achieved all that I have. It's bloody hard though. It's easy to over do things and take on too much. Sometimes you've just gotta work within your limits but you've gotta find your limits in the first place.

I don't know if my issues are to do with aspergers as such though.


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KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 5:03 am

Intellectually I can deal with a lot. I can usually understand things and see solutions long, long before everyone else. My brain moves FAST.

But emotionally and physically I can't. I suppose it's because I'm struggling along in an alien NT world where nothing makes sense to me. Even my health is different to everyone else's. My body works very differently to most people's.


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03 Aug 2022, 10:52 am

I also prefer to focus on one thing at a time.

When there is a swarm of things needing attention I typically pick the few I think I should address first and focus on them.

If I reach a good stopping point (voluntary or involuntary) in an incomplete task I can shelf it 'til conditions are better to work on it again...but it might be some time before I get back to it.


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Joe90
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03 Aug 2022, 11:06 am

I have ADHD so I get easily confused when I have several appointments coming up in the same month, including phonecall appointments. Writing things down on the calendar doesn't seem to help me remember, as I often forget to look at the calendar half the time. So I just write them all down on my phone, because I look at my phone every day so I can easily remember.

I wish I could have a week where I am completely appointment-free and can just go to work and back without having to juggle appointments as well. My brain needs a break from thinking and remembering all the time.

This reminds me of my poor mum when she was so demanded upon by most of the family to go to places and appointments with or remember things or do favours or whatever, and she said "I haven't got time to go to work!" - even though she only worked 2 days a week. And she didn't mean it as an expression, she literally meant that her busy schedule did not fit the 2 days of work.


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KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 11:18 am

Joe90 wrote:
I wish I could have a week where I am completely appointment-free and can just go to work and back without having to juggle appointments as well. My brain needs a break from thinking and remembering all the time.


I read the definition of adulthood the other day. It said 'Being an adult is constantly saying: "if I can just get through this week I'll be okay."'

But we never get through the week because there is always another one :?


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03 Aug 2022, 11:49 am

In the US, high school seniors tend to be 17-19 y/o. They are usually rather over having to be in school. I think Canada has roughly the same senior age range too.

Joe90 wrote:
I assume senior year means last year of high school.

Wow, wherever you're from kids are in a hurry to grow up. During my last year of high school (age 15-16) all the kids were worried about was passing their exams.



AprilR
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03 Aug 2022, 12:06 pm

Most people seem to have very fast paced lives indeed. I noticed people are constantly changing jobs, changing boyfriends and their social circle. They seem to have a lot more energy than me.



KitLily
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03 Aug 2022, 3:08 pm

AprilR wrote:
Most people seem to have very fast paced lives indeed. I noticed people are constantly changing jobs, changing boyfriends and their social circle. They seem to have a lot more energy than me.


I think this is a modern thing and life is getting faster as the decades pass. And this doesn't suit autistic people.

In the past people walked everywhere, they had holidays in Britain, they communicated by letter, they found out information by asking people or reading books.

Now people travel by fast vehicles, they go on planes to holidays far away, they communicate by text/ tweet/ email etc, they find out information immediately by clicking a website.

It's all much too fast for many people's brains to keep up with.


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06 Aug 2022, 1:39 pm

There have been numerous times when I had to take on way too much. I become dead inside and deal with the situations as best I can. The problem is those memories haunt me, trigger me, and fill me with grief. I have seen NT's go off the rails, become violent, unbalanced, ... The jails, the streets, and the bars are full of them. Everyone is different and some people just have more strength than others.


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FleaOfTheChill
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06 Aug 2022, 5:45 pm

Yeah, I can't handle more than one thing on my metaphorical plate at once...it gets to be too much to quick and it wrecks me. I'm a terrible multitasker these days as well, though I wasn't as awful about it when I was younger. I had a major burnout episode in my late twenties/early thirties that I never did bounce back from fully. I used to think everyone felt the same as I did and that the solution was to suck it up and pretend all was fine. No wonder I had that burn out.. Eh, what to do but live, learn and try to not repeat those types of mistakes. Boundaries, they are things I try to be mindful of these days.



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09 Aug 2022, 1:33 pm

I'm a one thing at a time person. I can't handle having too much on my plate at once. I don't waste my time wondering how typical people do it all, because I'm trying not to compare myself to others.


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KitLily
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09 Aug 2022, 4:25 pm

Apparently the new research shows that multitasking is actually bad for the brain anyway, so we're doing better sticking to one thing at a time. :thumleft:


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I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
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I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.