Anyone feel privileged as a disabled person?

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League_Girl
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05 Aug 2022, 4:56 pm

DanielW wrote:
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I have asexual privilege. I am not affected by the anti abortion law and I can live without sex.

Another privilege I have is my husband can't have sex so this is a bonus for this anti abortion law.

I am glad to live in Oregon where this is a safe state for women who don't have these privileges. This is a privilege these women have who live here and men are lucky too. They don't have to worry about child support or keeping their own legs closed.


Healthcare - reproductive or otherwise is NOT a privilege. Perhaps you are right though and you have been too privileged so far? In any case a little compassion for others never goes amiss.



I think you misunderstood, not being affected is a privilege which is why I say I have asexual privilege. Those who are against abortion are privileged because they lack empathy and if you have been in political topics here, you would have seen me criticizing Republicans.


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kraftiekortie
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05 Aug 2022, 6:05 pm

My feeling----is that everybody's privileged in one aspect of things----but discriminated against in others. The difference is one of emphasis.

I wish this emphasis on "privilege" would stop.

I have had advantages in life----and I've had disadvantages in life, too.



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06 Aug 2022, 12:08 am

The only thing I felt privileged about is not having to worry about the roof above my head fly off in every year's stormy seasons.

Flood entering the house in another story though. And the fact my parents are paying.

And the very, very fact that the apartment I'm living in is actually cheapest apartment rental of all the whole city just out of sheer lack of choice and luck out on the owners.


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HighLlama
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06 Aug 2022, 3:06 am

League_Girl wrote:
I had a mom who treated me as human and made me feel normal.


How is this a privilege? Having a trust fund is a privilege. Having a parent who doesn't beat you is a right.



ToughDiamond
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06 Aug 2022, 9:03 am

I suppose you could say that my diagnostic report caused my employer to grant me the privilege of being partly exempted from the kind of work that Aspies aren't good at. Apart from that there's been nothing special granted to me as a result of my disability.

My Aspie brain probably allowed me to study academic and technical matters with good diligence. At any rate, I did very well in my early school years, and although the ASD hampered my learning later on, I somehow managed to leave school with reasonably good qualifications, and I became a valued science worker, which paid the bills. It led to a reasonable pension when I retired early. To this day I often benefit by solving my own problems by careful research and reasoning. It's slow but it usually gives good results.

But I'm not sure that "privilege" is the best word to describe my life. Certainly I seem to have dodged a lot of the pain that I gather a lot of people have to go through. My job, though often stressful, rarely put the kind of demands on me that I hear of others having to deal with. My employers rarely made me work outside my standard start and finish times. The stress of my job often caused me to wonder about finding a different line of work, but everything I looked into seemed even worse than what I had. I didn't have to follow a dress code, my job was permanent, we had procedural agreements so they couldn't easily get rid of anybody, the management's cruelty to the workforce was pretty limited, I was nearly always allowed to work standard hours (9 till 5, Monday to Friday). But then, my working years were from the 1970s till the 2010s, when conditions were on average better for everybody than they are now.



League_Girl
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06 Aug 2022, 9:25 am

HighLlama wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I had a mom who treated me as human and made me feel normal.


How is this a privilege? Having a trust fund is a privilege. Having a parent who doesn't beat you is a right.



There is white privilege, wealth privilege, cis privilege, etc. Why not loving parents privilege or normal family privilege? Or a parent who actually understands you as a ND child?


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FleaOfTheChill
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06 Aug 2022, 6:01 pm

League_Girl wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I had a mom who treated me as human and made me feel normal.


How is this a privilege? Having a trust fund is a privilege. Having a parent who doesn't beat you is a right.



There is white privilege, wealth privilege, cis privilege, etc. Why not loving parents privilege or normal family privilege? Or a parent who actually understands you as a ND child?


I'm inclined to agree with that. While having parents who treat you like a human and make you feel normal should be a right, it's often enough a thing people do not have. It does seem a privilege to me. But I also tend to think of things like having running water, enough food, and electricity as privileges. What is common for some is not common for all. Wouldn't that make it a privilege, or am I mistaken? I don't know.

I do feel privileged as a disabled person. I qualified for disability. I get enough money (work credits included) that I live in my own house and the damn thing is paid for. I don't have to worry about starving or living on the streets. I know not everyone is so fortunate. I am privileged to not be surrounded by people who hate on me in my day to day life for being different. Those who have, I could get away from, now I get to choose the company I keep. I am privileged in that if I'm having a bad day, I can hide at home and be alone in the quiet and take care of me without stressing that I will go without. I can make myself my own fulltime job. I know how good I have it. I have two family members who help me when I need it, and I have the ability to manage a lot of my stuff on my own. Yeah, my life is pretty good.



Texasmoneyman300
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06 Aug 2022, 11:34 pm

I dont feel privileged but I kind of do feel privileged because I am going to inherit millions in my trust fund that will take care of me should I never be able to work.But I dont def dont feel privileged because of my disablity.



AquaineBay
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07 Aug 2022, 5:51 pm

I do not feel privileged as a disabled person. How could there be a privilege for being disabled? If being a disabled person was a privilege then it wouldn't be called "disabled". One thing I recommend is not taking what you have for granted especially when it is offered by someone else because it can be taken away as fast as you obtained it.

Also OP, HOW is the fact that your husband can't have sex considered a privilege? Does your husband consider that a privilege and is completely fine with that? If not then that is a VERY selfish thing to consider that a "privilege". Also the fact that you aren't affected by anti-abortion laws is not a privilege either(even though you actually are affected by it. Depending on how strict they made the law, the portion that would affect you just didn't happen to you but, to other women that it did happen to that is a HUGE detriment).

I am grateful for the things that I have, an understanding mother, SSDI, Medicaid, my brother and sister who are also understanding(not to the degree of my mother but, they aren't my parent and wouldn't expect them to be as understanding as my mother). I can walk despite having Cerebral Palsy and the doctors even said that I wasn't going to be able to walk.

Basically what you consider being a "privilege" is just being lucky. Like I said before, showing gratitude to those that gave you this fortune is better than considering these things as "privileges". Remember that all these things that others gave to you, they don't have to give you these things at all and left you to fend for yourself.


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League_Girl
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08 Aug 2022, 1:01 pm

I thought privilege meant being benefitted? I am just using it the way wokes use it.


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League_Girl
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08 Aug 2022, 1:13 pm

Also OP, HOW is the fact that your husband can't have sex considered a privilege[quote][/quote]

To answer this, because I don't have to be a celeibate or even go on a "sex strike" mysoginists are calling it. I can live without sex and I am grateful I am not in a situation where I have to withhold sex to avoid a accidental pregnancy and having no access to an abortion. Just because I am this grateful doesn't mean I don't care about this Roe vs Wade being over turned, what is this strawman you and Daniel are making? Privileged people can still care even if it doesn't affect them because it's called empathy and having principles.


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08 Aug 2022, 3:07 pm

FleaOfTheChill wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I had a mom who treated me as human and made me feel normal.


How is this a privilege? Having a trust fund is a privilege. Having a parent who doesn't beat you is a right.



There is white privilege, wealth privilege, cis privilege, etc. Why not loving parents privilege or normal family privilege? Or a parent who actually understands you as a ND child?


I'm inclined to agree with that. While having parents who treat you like a human and make you feel normal should be a right, it's often enough a thing people do not have. It does seem a privilege to me. But I also tend to think of things like having running water, enough food, and electricity as privileges. What is common for some is not common for all. Wouldn't that make it a privilege, or am I mistaken? I don't know.


Children need to be treated as people to be healthy, but you don't need running water to be healthy. You need clean water. So they're not exactly the same.

Regarding League_Girl's examples: white privilege is privilege given because you are white. The equivalent would be giving privileges to children and making adults suffer, which is not what we're talking about. Same with cis privilege. Wealth is just inessential luxury. If we say children are privileged for having caring parents, this attitude is resentful, and likely to make children feel guilty for being treated as they should.



kraftiekortie
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08 Aug 2022, 3:25 pm

I agree that it's not "privileged" if your parents treat you decently......it's the way it should be.



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08 Aug 2022, 5:26 pm

League_Girl wrote:
Also OP, HOW is the fact that your husband can't have sex considered a privilege
Quote:


To answer this, because I don't have to be a celeibate or even go on a "sex strike" mysoginists are calling it. I can live without sex and I am grateful I am not in a situation where I have to withhold sex to avoid a accidental pregnancy and having no access to an abortion. Just because I am this grateful doesn't mean I don't care about this Roe vs Wade being over turned, what is this strawman you and Daniel are making? Privileged people can still care even if it doesn't affect them because it's called empathy and having principles.


You misunderstood what I was asking. All of what you said really doesn't have anything to do with the questions I asked. The questions I asked was 1)How is the fact that your husband can't have sex considered a privilege? 2) Does your husband consider the fact that he can't have sex a "privilege" and is he completely fine with it? The first is open-ended about your husband. The second is a "Yes" or "no" question. It has nothing to do with what mysoginists are doing nor does it have anything to do with Roe v. Wade.


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League_Girl
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08 Aug 2022, 6:02 pm

Based in how we are using the term "privilege" here, would this mean Morgan Freeman was lucky than privileged? I've always said he had celebrity privilege because he didn't have to face racism the way other black people do so he said "want to end racism, stop talking about it" and he retracted that statement years later after realizing racism is still a problem in this country after seeing it on social media.

I have also used the term rich privilege or wealth privilege. My mom and I once got into an argument about Trump and white privilege. He said you needed ID to buy groceries, I said he had rich privilege while my mom called it white privilege. I pointed out many people buy their own groceries, he never had to because he always had someone do it for him because he is rich. Lot if us have to do lot of things ourselves because we don't have lot of money like rich people do. So he has that rich privilege. My mom still called it white privilege so I said "but many of us aren't even rich, we don't have that privilge."

So was Trump lucky or does he have rich privilege?


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08 Aug 2022, 6:43 pm

HighLlama wrote:
FleaOfTheChill wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
HighLlama wrote:
League_Girl wrote:
I had a mom who treated me as human and made me feel normal.


How is this a privilege? Having a trust fund is a privilege. Having a parent who doesn't beat you is a right.



There is white privilege, wealth privilege, cis privilege, etc. Why not loving parents privilege or normal family privilege? Or a parent who actually understands you as a ND child?


I'm inclined to agree with that. While having parents who treat you like a human and make you feel normal should be a right, it's often enough a thing people do not have. It does seem a privilege to me. But I also tend to think of things like having running water, enough food, and electricity as privileges. What is common for some is not common for all. Wouldn't that make it a privilege, or am I mistaken? I don't know.


Children need to be treated as people to be healthy, but you don't need running water to be healthy. You need clean water. So they're not exactly the same.

Regarding League_Girl's examples: white privilege is privilege given because you are white. The equivalent would be giving privileges to children and making adults suffer, which is not what we're talking about. Same with cis privilege. Wealth is just inessential luxury. If we say children are privileged for having caring parents, this attitude is resentful, and likely to make children feel guilty for being treated as they should.


I'm still really struggling with. To me, things like white privilege include things like not being afraid to drive and get pulled over, harassed, and potentially beaten or killed by the police for driving while black. To me, things like cis/het privilege include things like not having to worry about being harassed and possibly beaten or killed for being born in the wrong body or gay. Safety is, to me, a right everyone should have. But not everyone has that. You need that to be healthy, right? Even if you don't get killed, being harassed/beaten/killed will have an impact on you as a person, and not in a good way. I still have no idea how to see that as different as having good parents. Bad parents can be damaging to people, and can even get a child killed. How is one a right and the others are privileges? Aren't they all rights that not everyone is lucky enough to have? I still don't get it. I'm very likely stuck on extremes here and not thinking in terms of what all is in the middle. Sometimes I suck at listening once I have something stuck in my head. Sometimes I am not all that bright. I dunno which is happening right now.

I keep writing and deleting. I think I'm veering too far off topic with what I'd written. Honestly, this is all hitting a little too close to home for me. Maybe that's my issue in understanding... I can't get past my own experiences (and those of my ex, their family, and my children) to hear what is obvious to those who are viewing life though a different lens. I'm struggling to gather my thoughts in a coherent way. I should probably shut up now and go play solitaire or something. Meh.