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Revisiting the speed dating subject

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TwilightPrincess
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04 Aug 2022, 3:11 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
The most important thing….is that you appear friendly and receptive. Probably a button-down shirt with chinos would be good to wear. Make sure your hair is washed.


21 year olds don’t dress like that…

Jeans and a decent tee shirt or button-down are fine.


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Last edited by TwilightPrincess on 04 Aug 2022, 3:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Muse933277
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04 Aug 2022, 3:13 pm

You only get around 5 minutes to convince someone that they should see you again. 5 minutes…

5 minutes really isn’t much time to determine whether or not someone truly is a good fit for you, so it’s probably going to based off of who you find attractive, who you find the most charming, or who you have some things in common with, mostly surface level stuff.


OP, I think your best bet, with the little time you have, is to ask what their hobbies and interests are and try to look for things you have in common. At the same time, express what you’re into, and see whether or not there’s some common ground between you two.

If your date is a 8/10 sorority girl who’s idea of fun is going out, drinking, and partying, and you’re a nerd that’d rather play music and stay home and play video games, you two probably aren’t that compatible. That’s just assuming she even wants to see you again. My guess is sorority girls who like clubbing are choosing guys mostly based off of looks.


Don’t exclusively go for the hottest girls in the room either.



kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2022, 3:16 pm

At least make sure your clothes are clean, and that they fit well.

I don’t actually get why they do speed dating.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Aug 2022, 3:18 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I don’t actually get why they do speed dating.


The goal seems to be to meet someone.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2022, 3:22 pm

Obviously….but I don’t find it a good method for meeting people.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Aug 2022, 3:25 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Obviously….but I don’t find it a good method for meeting people.


How did you “find” that to be the case? Did you try it?

I doubt that it’s a good method, but who knows? Maybe it will work for this poster.


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kraftiekortie
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04 Aug 2022, 3:27 pm

I hope it works for this poster.

It’s an artificial environment.



Muse933277
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04 Aug 2022, 3:27 pm

Also, age is a factor. Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their “party phase” and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or “game”.

Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature. It’s peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.

So personally OP, don’t be surprised if you don’t get any women who want to see you again. Don’t take it personally, it’s just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.



TwilightPrincess
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04 Aug 2022, 3:29 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor. Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their “party phase” and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or “game”.

Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature. It’s peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.

So personally OP, don’t be surprised if you don’t get any women who want to see you again. Don’t take it personally, it’s just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.


I wasn’t at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.

We don’t need to make this about gender.


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Fnord
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04 Aug 2022, 3:34 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor.  Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their "party phase" and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or "game".  Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature.  It is peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.  So personally OP, do not be surprised if you do not get any women who want to see you again.  Do not take it personally, it is just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.
I was not at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.
There do seem to be lot of misconceptions in this thread about speed-dating and what women like or want.



Muse933277
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04 Aug 2022, 3:35 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor. Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their “party phase” and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or “game”.

Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature. It’s peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.

So personally OP, don’t be surprised if you don’t get any women who want to see you again. Don’t take it personally, it’s just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.


I wasn’t at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.

We don’t need to make this about gender.




Depends on the demographic of women OP is going after.

I’d stay away from sorority girls, especially if they tell you they like to go clubbing and get absolutely wasted every weekend.

I went on several dates with a girl like that and she was the worst person I ever went out with.



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04 Aug 2022, 3:37 pm

Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor.  Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their "party phase" and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or "game".  Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature.  It is peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.  So personally OP, do not be surprised if you do not get any women who want to see you again.  Do not take it personally, it is just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.
I was not at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.
There do seem to be lot of misconceptions in this thread about speed-dating and what women like or want.


It’s disturbing.

Young 20 year olds of both genders aren’t known for their wisdom and maturity. This isn’t a gender thing.

With that being said, there’s plenty of young men and women out there who do not fit into that mold. It’s by no means hopeless.


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TwilightPrincess
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04 Aug 2022, 3:38 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor. Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their “party phase” and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or “game”.

Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature. It’s peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.

So personally OP, don’t be surprised if you don’t get any women who want to see you again. Don’t take it personally, it’s just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.


I wasn’t at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.

We don’t need to make this about gender.




Depends on the demographic of women OP is going after.

I’d stay away from sorority girls, especially if they tell you they like to go clubbing and get absolutely wasted every weekend.

I went on several dates with a girl like that and she was the worst person I ever went out with.


So that one girl you dated is representative of the entire sorority (and young women) population? :roll:


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Fnord
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04 Aug 2022, 3:46 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor.  Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their "party phase" and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or "game".  Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature.  It is peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.  So personally OP, do not be surprised if you do not get any women who want to see you again.  Do not take it personally, it is just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.
I was not at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.
There do seem to be lot of misconceptions in this thread about speed-dating and what women like or want.
It’s disturbing.  Young 20 year olds of both genders aren’t known for their wisdom and maturity. This isn’t a gender thing.  With that being said, there’s plenty of young men and women out there who do not fit into that mold. It’s by no means hopeless.
I have never attended a formal speed-dating event.  That said, I have been given the impression that attendees at these events are mostly thirty-something career professionals who are long out of the dating scene, and are looking to bypass the bushlit of the pick-up bars, dance clubs, and other meet-market venues.

To me, having only five minutes to make an impression always seemed kind of a brutal way to go about meeting Mr./Ms. Right and establishing a lifelong marital commitment.  The speed-dating seems more suited to trying for a job than trying for a mate.



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04 Aug 2022, 3:50 pm

Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Fnord wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Muse933277 wrote:
Also, age is a factor.  Many (not all) women in their early twenties are in their "party phase" and have no internet in a serious relationship, and are primarily choosing partners based on surface level features. Who’s better looking or who has more charm or "game".  Women in their early twenties are also notoriously picky and flaky by nature.  It is peak beauty which is oftentimes combined with peak emotional immaturity.  So personally OP, do not be surprised if you do not get any women who want to see you again.  Do not take it personally, it is just that young women by nature, are far more picky than men are.
I was not at all like that in my early 20s, nor are many, many others.
There do seem to be lot of misconceptions in this thread about speed-dating and what women like or want.
It’s disturbing.  Young 20 year olds of both genders aren’t known for their wisdom and maturity. This isn’t a gender thing.  With that being said, there’s plenty of young men and women out there who do not fit into that mold. It’s by no means hopeless.
I have never attended a formal speed-dating event.  That said, I have been given the impression that attendees at these events are mostly thirty-something career professionals who are long out of the dating scene, and are looking to bypass the bushlit of the pick-up bars, dance clubs, and other meet-market venues.

To me, having only five minutes to make an impression always seemed kind of a brutal way to go about meeting Mr./Ms. Right and establishing a lifelong marital commitment.


I probably wouldn’t enjoy competing for a date. There would always be someone more attractive and interesting, so the chances of being chosen by one’s desired partner is probably slim.

Of course, who knows? Maybe sparks could fly somehow within those 5 minutes with someone. Trying is better than not trying, especially if this isn’t the only attempt.


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Fnord
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04 Aug 2022, 4:01 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Trying is better than not trying, especially if this isn't the only attempt.
That is the gist of the matter.  Overall, the dating process seems a lot like the telemarketing process in that the "caller" makes a hundred "calls" to find the one person who will listen to the sales pitch and agree to a relationship -- a one-percent success rate seems to be considered "good" in the telemarketing trade, but indicative of a "loser" in the dating game.

Another similar process involves hiring, in that the candidate asks for an interview with the potential employer, and they have just a few minutes to make the right first impression.

Too bad that some men seem to think that all they have to do is say the right words to any woman and "bang", they have a girlfriend, regardless of how the man looks or behaves.