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kraftiekortie
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13 Aug 2022, 8:58 am

This seems to happen often. People who feel forced to strive (e.g., to become the first member of a family to graduate college) tend to sublimate their internal struggles.

It’s possible your daughter doesn’t have to “strive” so much—so her internal struggles are not sublimated. It doesn’t lessen her struggles….but if she was forced by circumstances to “keep her head above water,” then her internal struggles might be shunted to the background by immediate need.

This is related to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. The need for shelter takes priority over the need for self-actualization.

This happens so often that it is classic.

The need and will to survive forces one to sublimate one’s internal struggles.

It’s possible I’m over-simplifying this—but I’ve seen this sort of thing time after time. Adolescence is a tough time. There are many times when pure “time” heals wounds.



KitLily
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13 Aug 2022, 9:39 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
There are certainly girls who show all the classic autistic symptoms at a young age. But there are other girls who are “missed” because their symptoms are less overt than the symptoms of boys. They tend to cause little trouble, and to seem to be “just shy.”

Boys just “act out” more, so they force teachers to assess them, and refer them for professional assessments. Because these boys are disruptive to the stability of a class.


You hit the nail on the head. Boys tend to act out more in every sense of the word, so they get noticed and given attention. Whereas girls tend to want to fit in and stay quiet and shy at school.

Our daughter did that but she had meltdowns at home and showed her emotions. We just thought it was good that she felt free to do so and let her show whatever she wanted to show.

I, however, was not allowed to show emotions at school or at home so I was just repressed everywhere. I had a bad temper though which would burst out sometimes. Hm, I wonder why. Repressed at home AND at school? No wonder my emotions burst out sometimes! They had to.


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KitLily
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13 Aug 2022, 9:40 am

On_A_Journey wrote:
Plot twist (I'm the OP): To learn more and help my daughter, I took all the assessments at Embrace Autism. I scored as autistic on every measure except one where I scored as having a mixture of autistic and neurotypical characteristics. I was surprised. Maybe I missed the signs with my daughter because we are very similar.


I think that's very possible with you, and the same with me and my daughter. We're very similar so we didn't notice anything out of the ordinary.


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I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.