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The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Aug 2022, 9:10 pm

I'm pretty desperate to start dating ASAP, my confidence in my ability to attract women is really low, and I have no idea what to do or where to turn to for help.

Should I try a dating coach? Does anyone have experience with them?

Any other ideas?



Last edited by The Grand Inquisitor on 14 Aug 2022, 9:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Twilightprincess
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14 Aug 2022, 9:13 pm

Have you talked to your therapist about it? She might know something about that as far as your area is concerned.


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The Grand Inquisitor
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14 Aug 2022, 9:16 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
Have you talked to your therapist about it? She might know something about that as far as your area is concerned.

About a dating coach you mean? No, I only really came up with that idea yesterday, but I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow.



Twilightprincess
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14 Aug 2022, 9:34 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Have you talked to your therapist about it? She might know something about that as far as your area is concerned.

About a dating coach you mean? No, I only really came up with that idea yesterday, but I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow.


Maybe you could see if she has anything to say about it. She might not, but it’s worth a try.


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kraftiekortie
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14 Aug 2022, 9:36 pm

It certainly wouldn’t hurt…..



Texasmoneyman300
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14 Aug 2022, 11:50 pm

The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm pretty desperate to start dating ASAP, my confidence in my ability to attract women is really low, and I have no idea what to do or where to turn to for help.

Should I try a dating coach? Does anyone have experience with them?

Any other ideas?

Do you have a job.I would get a job if you did not have one already and I think that could help big time.Thats just one idea.I am just telling you my experience.Also one thing I can tell you is part of being a good dater is being able to be turned down and go on.The worst thing in most cases that could happen would be if she says no.Eventually you find a woman that says yes when you ask her out.You just cant be overly afraid of rejection.



Last edited by Texasmoneyman300 on 15 Aug 2022, 1:35 am, edited 1 time in total.

Zakatar
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15 Aug 2022, 12:23 am

I imagine it could be difficult to find a dating coach with knowledge and experience in working with us Autistic folk.


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klanka
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15 Aug 2022, 1:32 am

Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm pretty desperate to start dating ASAP, my confidence in my ability to attract women is really low, and I have no idea what to do or where to turn to for help.

Should I try a dating coach? Does anyone have experience with them?

Any other ideas?

Do you have a job.I would get a job if you did not have one already and I think that could help big time.Thats just one idea.I am just telling you my experience.


It gives self confidence



Texasmoneyman300
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15 Aug 2022, 1:36 am

klanka wrote:
Texasmoneyman300 wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
I'm pretty desperate to start dating ASAP, my confidence in my ability to attract women is really low, and I have no idea what to do or where to turn to for help.

Should I try a dating coach? Does anyone have experience with them?

Any other ideas?

Do you have a job.I would get a job if you did not have one already and I think that could help big time.Thats just one idea.I am just telling you my experience.


It gives self confidence

I agree.i felt more self confident when I was at a blue collar job.



The Grand Inquisitor
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15 Aug 2022, 6:13 pm

Twilightprincess wrote:
The Grand Inquisitor wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Have you talked to your therapist about it? She might know something about that as far as your area is concerned.

About a dating coach you mean? No, I only really came up with that idea yesterday, but I do have a therapy appointment tomorrow.


Maybe you could see if she has anything to say about it. She might not, but it’s worth a try.

I feel like she would have raised it as an idea already if it was something she had any familiarity with and thought it was a good idea.

kraftiekortie wrote:
It certainly wouldn’t hurt…..

It probably won't be cheap though, so if it doesn't help, I'll probably be out a fair bit of money.

Zakatar wrote:
I imagine it could be difficult to find a dating coach with knowledge and experience in working with us Autistic folk.

Yeah, I don't think I'd have much luck finding someone who has experience helping autistic people. I can only settle for what is available.



Muse933277
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15 Aug 2022, 8:45 pm

If you're really that desperate, you can try different niche/unconventional routes to find a girl.

Hiring a dating coach is one way. Maybe you hire a dating coach to take you out to the bar or nightclub, or helping you talk to girls in public, or giving you key pointers and advice

Some men go with plastic surgery, although this may be a waste of money if your problem isn't your lack of looks, but your poor social intelligence. Not to mention that plastic surgery can only do so much; if you're a 3, then plastic surgery probably won't take you to an 8 or 9.

Hell, some guys even go take a trip overseas to either get laid or to find a mate. The Philippines is an example as dating is supposedly easy there for white guys although maybe some places in Europe may be easier for guys to meet girls at as well. Other men go with mail order brides if they're marriage minded and so set on having kids.


What all of these scenarios have in common is that you probably need a decent amount of money to pull them off. So go to college, take your education seriously, and if you're 35 and still having girl problems, then you could try one of the options above.



The Grand Inquisitor
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15 Aug 2022, 9:06 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
If you're really that desperate, you can try different niche/unconventional routes to find a girl.

Hiring a dating coach is one way. Maybe you hire a dating coach to take you out to the bar or nightclub, or helping you talk to girls in public, or giving you key pointers and advice

Some men go with plastic surgery, although this may be a waste of money if your problem isn't your lack of looks, but your poor social intelligence. Not to mention that plastic surgery can only do so much; if you're a 3, then plastic surgery probably won't take you to an 8 or 9.

Hell, some guys even go take a trip overseas to either get laid or to find a mate. The Philippines is an example as dating is supposedly easy there for white guys although maybe some places in Europe may be easier for guys to meet girls at as well. Other men go with mail order brides if they're marriage minded and so set on having kids.


What all of these scenarios have in common is that you probably need a decent amount of money to pull them off. So go to college, take your education seriously, and if you're 35 and still having girl problems, then you could try one of the options above.

I've already tried higher education twice and it didn't work out. And I'll be dead by 35 if my dating troubles persist at the same capacity that they have up until now.



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17 Aug 2022, 10:55 am

Could be valuable/worth a try.

My personal trainer also does some life/dating/business coaching type advice stuff for both men and women. I know not just because he told me, but because sometimes his phone rings and I hear his side of the conversation and know full well it's someone asking him what they should do about a love interest, and he gives them pretty solid advice. He's studied a lot about male/female relationship dynamics and really knows his stuff - well beyond what people even realize occurs. He's pointed things out to female friends and they're kinda wowed at realizing the behaviours they exhibit themselves that he picks up on but they don't even realize they do in their interactions with him and other guys.

So, yeah, if you can find yourself someone with some real expertise that can help you navigate these things and give you advice on what to do/say when in order to achieve your ideal end, then yeah, it's worth a shot. Lots of people that are highly successful in a wide range of achievements have paid coaches that have helped them along the way. Tennis, swimming/sports, business, life, dating etc - sometimes paying for someone's expertise to guide you to being a better version of yourself is a fantastic use of time and money. Worth trying out, IMO. Just gotta find someone who's truly Good with these things.


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17 Aug 2022, 12:10 pm

What do you even look like roughly? Do you have a social circle? Do you have a decent job? Do you have a car?



Muse933277
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17 Aug 2022, 4:29 pm

There's TONS of different ways you can meet someone.

There's this ADHD/Autism dating group on Facebook that seems to attract a good amount of people and that includes women too. I was messaged by some decent looking girls from that site. Of course, your mileage may vary.

There's niche dating apps/sites/groups out there. I'm not sure how well Hiki would work, but that's an app for autistic people as well.

There's speed dating, matchmaker agencies, dating sites. Tinder is mostly for good looking normies so i'd personally avoid that site. Iv'e never tried speed dating but it's gotten more popular over the past couple of years.

Some men in your position decide to go to south-east Asia, specifically Thailand or Philippines to find a girl. And considering you're in Australia, this could be a realistic option for you. There's always going to be Filipinas looking to date/marry a white guy since you're their ticket to a better life. Hopefully the right one will genuinely love you as well which some actually do.

If you're a big gamer, you could try meeting women on the games that you play.

Some people meet the love of their life on a language exchange site.


The point i'm trying to make is that there's sooooo many ways you can meet someone in this day and age. You just have to find one that works for you.



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17 Aug 2022, 4:50 pm

I would make sure your dating coach has proven experience with helping young neurodvergent men find love.

I made that mistake taking my daughter to a psychologist who had qualifications through the window in helping chilldren but had a cookie cutter approach which didn't work with my daughter with her specific phobias.