Belonginness to a group, race, gender or age?

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Edna3362
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18 Aug 2022, 8:02 am

I don't feel belonging either. I just don't.
Even with all the love and acceptance, all the security and assurances...

Resonating with someone as a whole is just that rare to me. So rare, it could be impossible.


Then the stuff I was born with -- even less relevant to who I'm and what I do, but I have to present myself as for conveniences sake.
At worst, said stuff is a nuisance of a factor.

Female? Even with females as a dominant gender around my life? I don't relate to them.
And having to be born with a body of one is a nuisance, appearances be damned.

My nationality? ... Sure everyone feels a form of cringe from that.
Mine was just apathy and I'm just stuck with it -- language, culture, legal status. Heck this culture is pretty much counter-aspie and I'm just not rich enough to leave.

My age and peers? Should I give a damn about that anymore?
My place in the family? If it were up to me, I'd run away a long time ago.
My work? Not my passion. My coworkers? It's just like any other.
Friends? Not this deep.
What I do? Gave me networking, didn't gave me belonging all the same.

My sexuality? I can relate to stuff that is lack of interest, but not necessarily in a club or even in a community full of same people who also shares the experience or sentiment.

Autism? Not accessible enough. A stepping stone.

To be a part of something bigger? I belong to no causes.
But to be in it in an encompassing existential sense? It's just enough for me, I guess.


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Jakki
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18 Aug 2022, 8:27 am

Welcome Carl Frederick ……


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Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 5:01 am

Dear_one wrote:
Carl Friedrich Gauss wrote:
I never felt belonginness to any race, ethnicity, religion even gender or an age. WP is probably going to be an exception. It seems so. <snip>

So my kind will vanish. "Normal" people who define/mark any difference as abnormal will continue to loot/plunder the world. I guess this is a biological drive to reproduce or drive to perpetuate one's lineage.

Thanks for reading.


I have never had any doubt about being male, without doing anything macho to "prove it." I was open to other religions, or none, rather surprised that an accident of birth set most people's religion, and sometimes even politics. I never felt like I really belonged in my family, and attempts to belong elsewhere have never lasted a decade. I did identify with my generation for a while.

I thought that my early alienation was quite normal, and caused by having evolved for life in a small tribe, but being stuck in a huge, complex society. I still think that is a stress common to almost everyone now, driving us into crazy behaviour just because bad choices are so available. I just felt it more because I was also feeling alien from AS in myself and my family.

I did not reproduce, but I don't worry about that. It takes a lot of uncreative people to make the work on one original thinker pay off. The genes to produce those pioneers persist at lower levels, and will occasionally combine again.


I read it two times. It seems to have lots of experience and wisdom. Thank you for the reply.



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 5:13 am

Edna3362 wrote:
I don't feel belonging either. I just don't.
Even with all the love and acceptance, all the security and assurances...

Resonating with someone as a whole is just that rare to me. So rare, it could be impossible.


Then the stuff I was born with -- even less relevant to who I'm and what I do, but I have to present myself as for conveniences sake.
At worst, said stuff is a nuisance of a factor.

Female? Even with females as a dominant gender around my life? I don't relate to them.
And having to be born with a body of one is a nuisance, appearances be damned.

My nationality? ... Sure everyone feels a form of cringe from that.
Mine was just apathy and I'm just stuck with it -- language, culture, legal status. Heck this culture is pretty much counter-aspie and I'm just not rich enough to leave.

My age and peers? Should I give a damn about that anymore?
My place in the family? If it were up to me, I'd run away a long time ago.
My work? Not my passion. My coworkers? It's just like any other.
Friends? Not this deep.
What I do? Gave me networking, didn't gave me belonging all the same.

My sexuality? I can relate to stuff that is lack of interest, but not necessarily in a club or even in a community full of same people who also shares the experience or sentiment.

Autism? Not accessible enough. A stepping stone.

To be a part of something bigger? I belong to no causes.
But to be in it in an encompassing existential sense? It's just enough for me, I guess.





I don't know why. But for me, your posts seem to be very high... I could not choose the right word since this is not my native language. Even if I have a great vocabulary and read articles and listen uncountable academic lessons in this language, I found it hard to grasp your sentences at first. The reason why I am saying all this is to appreciate you, not to criticize you. Thank you for your replies.

When I read, i remembered a scene from the TV serie called Money Heist (LCDP), when professor speaks with the woman, when he tear the money and say "this is just paper". And then at the end of the tirade "to escape from everything."



Carl Friedrich Gauss
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19 Aug 2022, 5:14 am

Jakki wrote:
Welcome Carl Frederick ……



Thank you.