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Twilightprincess
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23 Aug 2022, 8:26 am

I only had one experience of physical bullying (non-brother related) that I can remember when I was a kid, and it didn’t happen at school. It was a group of neighbor boys. Kids often do things together that they wouldn’t do on their own - gang mentality.

I only went to elementary school, and I homeschooled after that, so maybe I would’ve experienced more bullying as I got older.

As a teacher, it’s something that I’m constantly on the look out for. It’s certainly gotten better, in that respect, from when I was a kid. Teachers are more knowledgeable and aware of it than they used to be due to regular training on the subject, not that all teachers are good or care as they should.

I observed and promptly dealt with a student who I caught verbally bullying an autistic student. The autistic student did not realize that he was being made fun of. I think the goal should be to nip this behavior in the bud so it doesn’t escalate, not that there’s a perfect solution.


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Summer_Twilight
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23 Aug 2022, 8:54 am

In high school, I was purposely excluded by three peers who said they were my friends. They would get together on the weekends and then one of them would come to me afterwards and brag about how much fun they had together.

Another time, they got together during a late start day and had breakfast together before having one of their parents drop them off at school. Once again, the one who did the bragging hinted at "Hey girl, you're here earlier than all of us." I lost it, "Why couldn't you idiots give me a ride?" Then another one sarcastically went, "Well!"

I had the courage to ask one of the people in their clique why I was always excluded and I was told that the other two didn't like me that much. They also said that the one who did all the bragging only associated with me because he knew it made me happy. I wanted to date him and he didn't feel that way back but he chose someone else over me because he was not right for me.

Another time, I was out looking to see if I made B honor roll and some random kid started cutting me down. "You're not on there, you're on the F honor roll." However, another student punched him for me while another girl piped in. "Don't talk like that, it's mean." I never saw this person's face who punched him. :D



SkinnyElephant
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23 Aug 2022, 9:15 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
I only had one experience of physical bullying (non-brother related) that I can remember when I was a kid, and it didn’t happen at school. It was a group of neighbor boys. Kids often do things together that they wouldn’t do on their own - gang mentality.

I only went to elementary school, and I homeschooled after that, so maybe I would’ve experienced more bullying as I got older.

As a teacher, it’s something that I’m constantly on the look out for. It’s certainly gotten better, in that respect, from when I was a kid. Teachers are more knowledgeable and aware of it than they used to be due to regular training on the subject, not that all teachers are good or care as they should.

I observed and promptly dealt with a student who I caught verbally bullying an autistic student. The autistic student did not realize that he was being made fun of. I think the goal should be to nip this behavior in the bud so it doesn’t escalate, not that there’s a perfect solution.


I went to public school. Luckily, at the schools I went to as a kid, the vast majority of students looked like me. Even if I didn't fit in, I could at least blend in.

Even though I got bullied, the bullying was rarely physical. And the physical bullying was never serious.

On the other hand, I know people on the spectrum/socially awkward who went to school where they were a minority. They had it much worse than me. They endured physical bullying galore (MAJOR physical bullying. Example: Packs of students would swarm them in the bathroom)



SkinnyElephant
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26 Aug 2022, 6:53 pm

I just remembered some more examples.

When I was in high school, my English teacher switched the seating chart in the middle of the year. I heard the girl who got "stuck" sitting next to me say "Oh great, I have to sit next to the sketchy kid."

Then the summer after high school, a different classmate sent me a Facebook message calling me sketchy and gross (The one who sent the Facebook message never appeared to hold any ill will against me in high school. I guess after graduating, she felt emboldened to tell me what she really thought of me)



IsabellaLinton
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26 Aug 2022, 7:30 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I was stupid enough to write a short story of a sexual nature when I was a sophomore (second year of secondary school) in high school. This caused almost four years of bullying.


I was set up in kind of a similar way when I was 14.
An older boy tried to take advantage of me.
My best friends all started a rumour that I did it.

I never made friends again because I was so scared of being bullied.
That's when I started hiding in school libraries at lunch and on all my breaks.



firemonkey
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27 Aug 2022, 2:57 am

I wasn't liked at both prep and public school, but the verbal bullying was quite a bit worse at public school. Because he knew he couldn't be punished, as it was the last meal we'd both ever have at prep school, a boy put tobacco in my tea. I drunk the tea having no idea what he'd done. I was violently sick at the end of term chapel service. Then there was the time at public school when a classroom full of boys directed monkey chants at me. It was very likely I was the most unpopular boy ever in the then 407 years of the schools existence.



SkinnyElephant
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27 Aug 2022, 12:09 pm

firemonkey wrote:
I wasn't liked at both prep and public school, but the verbal bullying was quite a bit worse at public school. Because he knew he couldn't be punished, as it was the last meal we'd both ever have at prep school, a boy put tobacco in my tea. I drunk the tea having no idea what he'd done. I was violently sick at the end of term chapel service. Then there was the time at public school when a classroom full of boys directed monkey chants at me. It was very likely I was the most unpopular boy ever in the then 407 years of the schools existence.


I don't get why those of us on the spectrum are so hated. We don't tend to be jerks (for the most part); merely strange.

That being said, I'm perhaps one of the only ones on here who's been on both sides of the bullying equation. When I was in elementary school, I didn't realize I was on the spectrum yet (and my case is mild enough no one would have guessed). During recess, a neurotypical friend and I would chase a severely autistic kid (we never laid a hand on him though). One of my biggest regrets ever.

I was a jerk in elementary school no doubt. However, it's because my neurotypical then-best-friend was a bad influence on me. Not trying to make excuses. But I guarantee I never would have bullied that classmate on my own.

Come middle school, my quirks became more and more noticeable. I was suddenly an outcast at school. That neurotypical friend ended up ditching me. In middle school and high school, I ended up having sympathy for the severely autistic classmate I used to chase at recess.

Maybe becoming an outcast in middle school was what led me to learn a lesson a lot of adults never learn: Being strange is not a crime.



MaxE
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15 Oct 2022, 9:27 am

Senior year there was one kid who had taken up bullying me on a regular basis. At one point, I decided to defy him i.e. give him back talk. After a short time, I was walking down a flight of stairs and he was standing at the bottom. There were other boys there (this was a smallish all-male private day school). When I reached the bottom step, he sucker punched me, knocking me out. I came to on the floor. I got up and continued my school day. AFAIK he got into absolutely no trouble for doing this.


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SkinnyElephant
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15 Oct 2022, 4:16 pm

MaxE wrote:
Senior year there was one kid who had taken up bullying me on a regular basis. At one point, I decided to defy him i.e. give him back talk. After a short time, I was walking down a flight of stairs and he was standing at the bottom. There were other boys there (this was a smallish all-male private day school). When I reached the bottom step, he sucker punched me, knocking me out. I came to on the floor. I got up and continued my school day. AFAIK he got into absolutely no trouble for doing this.


I, and probably a lot of others on here, can relate to your story of finally getting fed up (with bullying) to the point where you give some attitude back to the bully.

A major pet peeve of mine is when people say WE'RE somehow the problem/instigator for giving the bully attitude (and we deserve anything the bully does after we give him attitude). Never mind the fact that our attitude is simply a response to what the bully started in the first place.



himmellaufen
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16 Oct 2022, 10:37 pm

SkinnyElephant wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Senior year there was one kid who had taken up bullying me on a regular basis. At one point, I decided to defy him i.e. give him back talk. After a short time, I was walking down a flight of stairs and he was standing at the bottom. There were other boys there (this was a smallish all-male private day school). When I reached the bottom step, he sucker punched me, knocking me out. I came to on the floor. I got up and continued my school day. AFAIK he got into absolutely no trouble for doing this.


I, and probably a lot of others on here, can relate to your story of finally getting fed up (with bullying) to the point where you give some attitude back to the bully.

A major pet peeve of mine is when people say WE'RE somehow the problem/instigator for giving the bully attitude (and we deserve anything the bully does after we give him attitude). Never mind the fact that our attitude is simply a response to what the bully started in the first place.


same, I was always made the villain. cause teachers hated me and weren't willing to believe me, and other students didn't want to be my witnesses



SkinnyElephant
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17 Oct 2022, 9:26 am

himmellaufen wrote:
SkinnyElephant wrote:
MaxE wrote:
Senior year there was one kid who had taken up bullying me on a regular basis. At one point, I decided to defy him i.e. give him back talk. After a short time, I was walking down a flight of stairs and he was standing at the bottom. There were other boys there (this was a smallish all-male private day school). When I reached the bottom step, he sucker punched me, knocking me out. I came to on the floor. I got up and continued my school day. AFAIK he got into absolutely no trouble for doing this.


I, and probably a lot of others on here, can relate to your story of finally getting fed up (with bullying) to the point where you give some attitude back to the bully.

A major pet peeve of mine is when people say WE'RE somehow the problem/instigator for giving the bully attitude (and we deserve anything the bully does after we give him attitude). Never mind the fact that our attitude is simply a response to what the bully started in the first place.


same, I was always made the villain. cause teachers hated me and weren't willing to believe me, and other students didn't want to be my witnesses


Even though I was bullied in school, the school bullying was never really severe enough to get a big reaction out of me.

Upon becoming an adult (and leaving the environment I was raised in), I faced much worse bullying. Being a skinny/naive/autistic young adult living in the big city for the first time, I might as well have had a target on my back. The masses had a field day with me.

At first, I was in shock at the fact that total strangers would bully me totally unprovoked. Eventually I figured out what was happening (They viewed me as an easy target, therefore they purposely singled me out). I started to give bullies some attitude AFTER they had already instigated the whole thing.

My own family told me I'm somehow the problem for giving attitude back. They thought I should simply accept getting bullied. They also seemed to doubt whether my attitude really came AFTER the bully's attitude. They insisted no one goes around bullying total strangers unless the stranger brings it on.