Ask before making out or just do it?

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klanka
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22 Aug 2022, 11:53 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would offer to kiss her hand first. If she refuses, then you know she doesn't want to make out.

I, myself, wouldn't get "down and dirty" unless a woman shows, through actions such as taking my hand, rubbing up against me, and kissing me gently, that she wants more than a kiss.


I agree that can happen but that is usually when a woman has a very bold and brave personality. Since not all women are like that, if they are reserved they will show subtle signs.



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22 Aug 2022, 11:58 am

Hi Noamx:

Whenever you start dating someone, just let things gradually progress as you both get to know each other over time. My boyfriend and I have been taking things slowly. We also didn't talk about making out, we just let nature take its course



MaxE
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22 Aug 2022, 12:02 pm

At your age, if any woman old enough to date you is down for a serious make-out session, she's probably down for more than that. Because heavy duty snogging will get her aroused to the point that she'll feel the urge to masturbate if she could, but as you're there with her she'll probably want you to take care of it for her.

Making out is more for women who are younger and less experienced and haven't gotten the confidence to act on their urges with someone they just recently met. After that stage in life they know themselves well enough that they're not going to start shoving their tongue down some dude's throat if they're not turned on by him physically.


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22 Aug 2022, 1:09 pm

MaxE wrote:
At your age, if any woman old enough to date you is down for a serious make-out session, she's probably down for more than that. Because heavy duty snogging will get her aroused to the point that she'll feel the urge to masturbate if she could, but as you're there with her she'll probably want you to take care of it for her.

Making out is more for women who are younger and less experienced and haven't gotten the confidence to act on their urges with someone they just recently met. After that stage in life they know themselves well enough that they're not going to start shoving their tongue down some dude's throat if they're not turned on by him physically.

Please don't pay attention to any of this. This person clearly hasn't got a clue what they're talking about.

When it comes to whether a woman wants to kiss or do anything sexual with you or not, it's safer for everyone involved if you don't try to "guess" using some sort of silly rules or ideas made up by a man on the internet. Just ask her.



r00tb33r
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22 Aug 2022, 1:17 pm

Quote:
Ask before making out or just do it?

It's something you experiment with little by little, testing the waters, so to speak. Kiss them on the head when the moment is right. Then another time peck them on the cheek. Then if you feel like the time is right, peck them on the jaw, closer to mouth. Each time pay attention to the response. If they want to make out with you they will let you know.


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delvian
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22 Aug 2022, 1:27 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
Quote:
Ask before making out or just do it?

It's something you experiment with little by little, testing the waters, so to speak. Kiss them on the head when the moment is right. Then another time peck them on the cheek. Then if you feel like the time is right, peck them on the jaw, closer to mouth. Each time pay attention to the response. If they want to make out with you they will let you know.


This is pretty good advice. Take it slow.



r00tb33r
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22 Aug 2022, 2:25 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
Quote:
Ask before making out or just do it?

It's something you experiment with little by little, testing the waters, so to speak. Kiss them on the head when the moment is right. Then another time peck them on the cheek. Then if you feel like the time is right, peck them on the jaw, closer to mouth. Each time pay attention to the response. If they want to make out with you they will let you know.

Another thing, when you're physically close you can affectionately place your hand on their cheek and jaw, and give them eye contact.


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MaxE
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22 Aug 2022, 5:35 pm

delvian wrote:
MaxE wrote:
At your age, if any woman old enough to date you is down for a serious make-out session, she's probably down for more than that. Because heavy duty snogging will get her aroused to the point that she'll feel the urge to masturbate if she could, but as you're there with her she'll probably want you to take care of it for her.

Making out is more for women who are younger and less experienced and haven't gotten the confidence to act on their urges with someone they just recently met. After that stage in life they know themselves well enough that they're not going to start shoving their tongue down some dude's throat if they're not turned on by him physically.

Please don't pay attention to any of this. This person clearly hasn't got a clue what they're talking about.

When it comes to whether a woman wants to kiss or do anything sexual with you or not, it's safer for everyone involved if you don't try to "guess" using some sort of silly rules or ideas made up by a man on the internet. Just ask her.

This was not really intended as advice. It's just that women are either physically attracted or they aren't, and once they gain some experience, if they get involved in a make-out session it may just be a way to get aroused enough to move to the next step.

There are other concerns such as whether she feels safe being alone with you behind a locked door. So if the woman knows absolutely nothing about you then it's possible you might find yourself making out with her in a somewhat less private place where she's less likely to feel trapped.

The challenge is finding women who are attracted to you and not already involved with somebody else, and of course you may not necessarily find all such women attractive. You should probably give any woman who does seem interested a chance though because when you learn a woman is attracted to you, it can make her more attractive to you.


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r00tb33r
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22 Aug 2022, 5:45 pm

MaxE wrote:
whether she feels safe being alone with you behind a locked door

You totally don't need to be behind a locked door to make out. PDA totally works. Parks are a pretty good place for that.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 5:49 pm

I would venture to guess that Public Displays of Affection in Israel is a little more nuanced than that.

There are quite a few Orthodox Jews.....and some Muslims, too, who are rather conservative, and don't to see people making out.

And I've been seeing PDAs less and less even on the New York City subways. Perhaps because of COVID.



r00tb33r
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22 Aug 2022, 5:54 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I would venture to guess that Public Displays of Affection in Israel is a little more nuanced than that.

There are quite a few Orthodox Jews.....and some Muslims, too, who are rather conservative, and don't to see people making out.

And I've been seeing PDAs less and less even on the New York City subways. Perhaps because of COVID.

I didn't consider that OP is in Israel.

But, during my 2016 trip to Israel I honestly didn't see anything that awful. There are places where PDA (swap "public" for "in the open") would be totally fine.

Sure, there are Muslims and orthodoxes, but otherwise half the country are Soviet expats, and they're cool with that.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Aug 2022, 6:47 pm

It's probably okay on the beaches of Tel Aviv.

In East Jerusalem---not so okay.



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22 Aug 2022, 6:51 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's probably okay on the beaches of Tel Aviv.

In East Jerusalem---not so okay.

Yup.


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MaxE
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22 Aug 2022, 7:43 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
It's probably okay on the beaches of Tel Aviv.

In East Jerusalem---not so okay.

My wife and I were scolded for holding hands in the general vicinity of the Western Wall, I mean, this was in an area where both men and women are allowed, not where people were praying

Making out on a beach in Tel Aviv or elsewhere, especially in swimming attire, might be dicey. Although I can see couples doing it after dark. I don't recall seeing many public parks in Tel Aviv though, doesn't mean they don't exist.


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22 Aug 2022, 8:36 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
MaxE wrote:
whether she feels safe being alone with you behind a locked door

You totally don't need to be behind a locked door to make out. PDA totally works. Parks are a pretty good place for that.

Around the time of my 29th birthday, a young female coworker, who had recently graduated from what was then a predominantly female university campus, wanted to date me. We ended up having a passionate PDA session at the location shown below, initiated by her. At first I was somewhat embarrassed but never having done that in high school when you're supposed to, I decided better late than never and just went for it.

Image


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23 Aug 2022, 6:14 am

Depends on how mature you feel a woman is. Kissing in the first date can be either a brilliant or terrible idea depending on who's on the receiving end.

Women with prior sexual experience generally don't mind an unexpected kiss if things seem to be going well. Going from there to a full make out though? I would tread carefully.

Like I said in a similar thread you made, take the feedback from a unexpected kiss as a hint as to how she feels towards you in general. If she liked it then by all means see how it goes with a full make out but if she was off-put by it then don't carry on with anything more intense.