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cyberdad
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03 Sep 2022, 3:35 am

Misslizard wrote:
He’s already been back, grabbed his chosen few ,and left.


Damn! I collected a whole room full of water in the hope he might swing by



funeralxempire
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03 Sep 2022, 7:20 am

More importantly, when will Jesus bring the pork chops?


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戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


TwilightPrincess
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03 Sep 2022, 7:33 am

Quote:
The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.

2 Peter 3:8

My former church LOVES this scripture. However, it doesn’t make much sense. The more time that goes by the more people there will be to be destroyed because most people aren’t going to convert.

Maybe God didn’t realize this. If the Bible is any indication, his critical thinking skills leave much to be desired.


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naturalplastic
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03 Sep 2022, 7:46 am

cyberdad wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
He’s already been back, grabbed his chosen few ,and left.


Damn! I collected a whole room full of water in the hope he might swing by


Why "collect water"?

Is that some Aussie expression?



Last edited by naturalplastic on 03 Sep 2022, 8:45 am, edited 1 time in total.

Nades
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03 Sep 2022, 7:47 am

They cancelled his birthday during the pandemic for the first time in over 2000 years. We didn't even have a cake for him. I'm sure he's taken note and isn't returning for a while.



TwilightPrincess
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03 Sep 2022, 7:54 am

Nades wrote:
They cancelled his birthday during the pandemic for the first time in over 2000 years. We didn't even have a cake for him. I'm sure he's taken note and isn't returning for a while.

I didn’t know that Jesus was so petty.


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funeralxempire
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03 Sep 2022, 8:02 am

Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
They cancelled his birthday during the pandemic for the first time in over 2000 years. We didn't even have a cake for him. I'm sure he's taken note and isn't returning for a while.

I didn’t know that Jesus was so petty.


He must take after his father. :wink:


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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


TwilightPrincess
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03 Sep 2022, 8:38 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Twilightprincess wrote:
Nades wrote:
They cancelled his birthday during the pandemic for the first time in over 2000 years. We didn't even have a cake for him. I'm sure he's taken note and isn't returning for a while.

I didn’t know that Jesus was so petty.


He must take after his father. :wink:

:lol:

Excellent point!


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Misslizard
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03 Sep 2022, 10:30 am

naturalplastic wrote:
cyberdad wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
He’s already been back, grabbed his chosen few ,and left.


Damn! I collected a whole room full of water in the hope he might swing by


Why "collect water"?

Is that some Aussie expression?

To turn into wine!!


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Misslizard
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03 Sep 2022, 10:33 am

If he returns like a thief in the night, someone will catch an image of him on their Ring doorbell.


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naturalplastic
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03 Sep 2022, 11:00 am



funeralxempire
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03 Sep 2022, 11:16 am

Misslizard wrote:
If he returns like a thief in the night, someone will catch an image of him on their Ring doorbell.


He returned like a thief in the night.
Unfortunately it was a red state and he got shot like a thief in the night. :nerdy:


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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


naturalplastic
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03 Sep 2022, 11:54 am

Actually...it was in broad daylight. They hunted him down because he was brown skinned guy running through the neighborhood in a jogging suit.



lostonearth35
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03 Sep 2022, 12:30 pm

cyberdad wrote:
If Jesus returned he'd be locked up in a psychiatric ward.


If he returned, the very Murricans who worship him on hands and knees would have him crucified on the spot, especially since he'd be Middle Eastern.

Either that or they'd just shoot him. Then he'd have holes in his chest and not just his hands.



Misslizard
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03 Sep 2022, 2:43 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
If he returns like a thief in the night, someone will catch an image of him on their Ring doorbell.


He returned like a thief in the night.
Unfortunately it was a red state and he got shot like a thief in the night. :nerdy:

Then he was deported back to Mexico because his name was Jesus.


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TwilightPrincess
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03 Sep 2022, 2:45 pm

Misslizard wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Misslizard wrote:
If he returns like a thief in the night, someone will catch an image of him on their Ring doorbell.


He returned like a thief in the night.
Unfortunately it was a red state and he got shot like a thief in the night. :nerdy:

Then he was deported back to Mexico because his name was Jesus.

He was also offended that people keep on forgetting to put an accent above the “u” - Jesús.

That combined with the lack of a birthday cake has just been too much.


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