When the OP only posts once
funeralxempire
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Not just OPs. I find it odd when someone pops into a discussion or debate thread to voice an opinion that's bound to draw responses and then refuses to engage with any discussion they've initiated.
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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
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Anyway, there seem to be "a lot" of first posts by new members who never post again anywhere on this website. I wonder why? Did they get bored waiting for a response? Did they forget their passwords? Were they scared off by discussions in the PP&R section?
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funeralxempire
Veteran
Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,184
Location: Right over your left shoulder
Not derailments because the comments are on-topic; they just behave more like someone splashing kerosene on a fire and running off, meanwhile others are actively tending to the fire (debating).
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"If you stick a knife in my back 9 inches and pull it out 6 inches, there's no progress. If you pull it all the way out, that's not progress. The progress is healing the wound that the blow made... and they won't even admit the knife is there." Malcolm X
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う
I might have been guilty of what the OP of this thread describes, maybe once or twice. I sometimes come up with some questions or any random topic and start a thread. Then I kind of lose interest or feel too lazy to go back to it. Also, I half expect that no one will respond and feel there's no point in going back to my thread/post.
I also try to stick to a one-post policy. I only post once to a thread and say everything I want to say in that one post. I don't add any more to what I've already said. That makes things easier. I mostly stick to this policy, if not all the time. An obvious exception to this policy is that I post rubbish many times in long-running threads in Random Discussion just for fun.
Probably the OP of this thread is talking about other people, but the above is my reasons/excuses for what seems like a "post and run".
This is an open forum. This means that anyone can generate a post. You do not have to prove that you are on the spectrum or have a close relationship with someone on the spectrum to generate a message or respond to comment. It is very open. That is probably not bad but everyone should keep this in mind when communicating.
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I find it difficult to know what to respond when people say things. Sometimes I write long replies and edit them many times for an hour and still decide they make no sense and remove them. I struggle explaining the "thread" of my throught in words, I think abstractly, that's why I write so much because words aren't very exact. For me it's easiest to answer others when I actually have something to say, I struggle making it up when their response is either comprehensive or I feel misses my point so much its not worth responding or I just don't understand it and don't really get the sense I would even if I asked questions.
Often someone will say something I have no script for so I don't know what to respond so I don't. Because of this common personal experience I can easily understand why someone would start a topic or say something and then doesn't engage. Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth? Or is this some specific type of person I have yet to encounter? Maybe I misunderstand.
Often someone will say something I have no script for so I don't know what to respond so I don't. Because of this common personal experience I can easily understand why someone would start a topic or say something and then doesn't engage. Isn't this at the heart of autism; problems with communicating back and forth? Or is this some specific type of person I have yet to encounter? Maybe I misunderstand.
Yeah, I struggle with this so much and guilty of making a post and not always responding to people.
Off the wall section is more suited to me.
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"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis
• • •
Anyway, there seem to be "a lot" of first posts by new members who never post again anywhere on this website. I wonder why? Did they get bored waiting for a response? Did they forget their passwords? Were they scared off by discussions in the PP&R section?[/color]
As a new member, from my perspective it’s quite daunting trying to get involved in a new place online. It’s a bit like walking into a pub and loudly announcing ‘Hey everyone, I’m new here!’ while waving frantically. Not that I’d ever do that, but it’s what it feels like to me.
I’d also be less likely to continue to post if I hadn’t had any response or only a few replies to my first post. Personally I find it just as hard to interact online as I do in the ‘real world’.
Well, yes, of course. Not much point in responding when we don't have something to say.
Yes, although some of us find written communication to be much easier than in-person communication.
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I was quite nervous the first time I posted here too.
Agreed. It is VERY important for groups to have at least some people who make a point of being friendly to newcomers.
Fortunately, here on Wrong Planet, we do have some people who make a point of being friendly to newcomers. (Hopefully enough such people as to make newcomers feel welcome, but not so many as to make newcomers feel overwhelmed.)
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- Autistic in NYC - Resources and new ideas for the autistic adult community in the New York City metro area.
- Autistic peer-led groups (via text-based chat, currently) led or facilitated by members of the Autistic Peer Leadership Group.
- My Twitter / "X" (new as of 2021)
Well, yes, of course. Not much point in responding when we don't have something to say.
Well, but that is the point. How should I answer if I have nothing to say? I just can't make up something or repeat what is obvious, that's a waste of time to me and everyone. Maybe someone thought a topic was a good idea for discussion but then didn't feel the answers gave them anything to grasp hold to, or maybe people misunderstood what they meant.
Yes, although some of us find written communication to be much easier than in-person communication.
Yes, but that's why I said I understand, maybe a lot of the autistic people who come in and write one topic or reply to one thing and leave, probably don't find it all that much easier. I feel writing is maybe 20% easier than in-person communication for me. I enjoy writing better than talking, but it exhausts me just the same, sometimes even worse, because I don't know the person's tone of voice and they don't hear mine so often people read me as aggressive when I feel I am just matter-of-fact, which I am mainly exactly because it's so exhausting I feel pressure to get it to be over quickly. Also sometimes you don't know if anyone will respond or if people will misunderstand. It's quite stressful.
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