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Kitty4670
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08 Sep 2022, 7:56 pm

I HATE having Aspergers! I know NT people think about dying, but I want to know if Aspergers people think about dying more if they are soooo unhappy in life or they cannot handle living in a NT world?


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SharonB
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08 Sep 2022, 8:09 pm

I almost didn't make it out of my 20s, and the 30s were rough, but now I am very satisfied (and moreso with a diagnosis and ASD-specific counseling). My cousin also had a difficult time and didn't make it to her 30s --- she was probably ADHD/GAD. So you could generalize to ND, not just ASD. Understanding and support go a looooong way to making or breaking someone. Wishing you find a way through this darkness.



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08 Sep 2022, 8:44 pm

I wouldn't mind dying young. Then I wouldn't have to worry about aging and see myself getting all wrinkly and saggy and becoming a vulnerable elderly who gets too weak to do household work and yard work and going out.


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09 Sep 2022, 4:10 am

Kitty4670 wrote:
I HATE having Aspergers! I know NT people think about dying, but I want to know if Aspergers people think about dying more if they are soooo unhappy in life or they cannot handle living in a NT world?

You disslike having problems but so does anyone else as well.



timf
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09 Sep 2022, 5:59 am

Some of the difficulty might be attributable to a childhood that did not help develop coping skills. As a result, one often enters early adulthood unprepared to manage. As has been cited, one "thrown into the deep end of the pool" can learn to survive, but it would have been easier of coping and management skills had been developed earlier.



carlos55
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09 Sep 2022, 8:13 am

It gets a bit easier as you get older

Less pressure to socialise / date etc... You get to do your own thing

Without sounding sexist or downplaying your struggle i think Aspergers can sometimes be easier for a woman than a man. In most global societies women can get away with not having a career, being confident, a great speaker, leader , having anxiety etc.. (most aspie weaknesses)

Assuming your straight, men are not attracted to those things in a woman as women are to a man.

Because of this there are still many refuges for aspie women that dont exist for men, like meet a good man, have kids, get a simple job and don`t expect to be judged negatively for that.

The main downside is women are expected to be more social.


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Kitty4670
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09 Sep 2022, 6:31 pm

carlos55 wrote:
It gets a bit easier as you get older

Less pressure to socialise / date etc... You get to do your own thing

Without sounding sexist or downplaying your struggle i think Aspergers can sometimes be easier for a woman than a man. In most global societies women can get away with not having a career, being confident, a great speaker, leader , having anxiety etc.. (most aspie weaknesses)

Assuming your straight, men are not attracted to those things in a woman as women are to a man.

Because of this there are still many refuges for aspie women that dont exist for men, like meet a good man, have kids, get a simple job and don`t expect to be judged negatively for that.

The main downside is women are expected to be more social.

I’m 52, I didn’t understand what you saying, I wish I did.


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Kitty4670
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09 Sep 2022, 6:41 pm

League_Girl wrote:
I wouldn't mind dying young. Then I wouldn't have to worry about aging and see myself getting all wrinkly and saggy and becoming a vulnerable elderly who gets too weak to do household work and yard work and going out.

I wouldn’t mind dying now, I’m 52, I feel sooooo alone with no help, I feel like I can’t breathe, I think about dying now. I also have a learning disability, that makes everything so much more worse. My NT friends don’t understand, I wish I can talk to more Aspergers people.


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Twilightprincess
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09 Sep 2022, 6:45 pm

I go through spurts, like the present, where I think about dying quite a bit. I don’t think it’s related to my autism, though. It has more to do with my PTSD, depression, and anxiety.

I enjoy some of the things that are related to my autism, such as having intense special interests.


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klanka
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09 Sep 2022, 6:56 pm

I've seen suicidal ideation listed as a common thing with ASD



CockneyRebel
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09 Sep 2022, 10:59 pm

I almost didn't make it out of my teens, never mind my 20s. Looking back now, I'm glad that I made it.


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RetroGamer87
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10 Sep 2022, 4:05 am

Looking forward to dying? Have no fear. I guarantee all of us will die one day.


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10 Sep 2022, 4:15 am

I think for me everything started to change a bit for the better when I started to identify with autism being a part of me and not a disease. I have no idea who I would be without autism. I only hated autism when the bad things happen, but I never thought its also because of my autism I can have enjoyment in my life that NTs don't get to get. So yeah, still its tough but its clearer to me because I feel more peaceful with myself, not trying to change, accepting.

That being said yes, autistic people have more problems with suicidal thoughts than NTs. I think a lot of it is we are still being pushed to be something we are not instead of the world understanding and accepting us as we are. Even we ourselves still struggle with that so it will take some time as more information comes out. Similar things happen in queer communities where if they are celebrated they can have great lives and good mental health and if they are shamed and repressed they become depressed and suicidal. Humans are very social, even those of us who are not so social need connections to if not people, other living things, to thrive.



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10 Sep 2022, 6:44 am

I don't have suicidal thoughts but I think about dying a lot. Having become rather old, death isn't so comfortably far in the future as it used to be. I'm very much in the "tired of living, scared of dying" category. And so many things that were theoretically achievable when I was young have had to be crossed off the list because I'm running out of time and opportunities. I hate the thought of becoming infirm and unable to support myself, but I don't see any way to avoid it. In a way I'd prefer to die suddenly and painlessly so I wouldn't have to go through a slow and depressing deterioration, but the thought of doing anything to make that happen fills me with revulsion.



Edna3362
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12 Sep 2022, 8:02 pm

How do you want to talk about having aspergers?


Based on your previous threads, you also have other disabilities.
You also have situations related about your family and your dependency status.
Also your age and health concerns...


One thing I can sympathize is having one's own plans and intentions in life, but not able to go through it because reasons along with the inability to.

The lack of freedom. This I can very much understand. And the inability to cope with the suffocation to some extent.

Suicide isn't in my mind -- not since 15 and just once.

I want to burn bridges. Same principle with suicide -- just wanting to get out.

I want others to hate me instead so I can have a rational excuse to leave them without a shed of guilt or shame of being wrong.
I want to live elsewhere where it's either my own terms (where I can thrive) or somewhere not too complicated (where I can rest).

I want to walk the earth, my fate would be the least of everyone else's worries without some hypocrite calling me ungrateful for leaving those who love me behind.


It's one thing to say thriving with aspergers.
But it's another trying to thrive in an environment where everyone just holds you back and either be inert or played like a pinball.


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Saltygoose
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14 Sep 2022, 9:51 am

It’s not so easy having Asperger’s. But some things are ok. I love to think straight forward, fast and clear, I love my ability to recognise details and to put combinations together others won’t. I love to communicate in a straight direct way. I love to have a special talent and to have the ability to concentrate for a long time on one focus.
All this together makes me a freak, sometimes to some people.
But on the other hand sometimes it is hard. I am a general practitioner, worked at a university hospital for a long time an got a Faible for the weird cases, wich I love to solve. When I opened my own Praxis first everything was ok, but then I got stuck in the daily routine and got overwhelmed by the stupidity of most patients. And the worst of all: Many of them couldn’t stop talking, they talked rubbish all day long.
This is the bad part…
Being not able to close your ears, to overhear things if it gets to much, to recognise everything and to think everything over was to much. Much to much. I love patients, somehow, but not the whole day and not when they talk rubbish. I am quite good as a doctor, but mostly for the severe cases, best in emergency rooms or intensive care or operations… so after 13 years I quit, moved abroad, now I work 2 days avery 2 weeks as an emergency doctor, that’s fun and not so much unwanted input.
The unwanted input is the worst.
Another not so nice thing is to find somebody talk to in my way. It’s hard. I’ve got a few (3) friends, mostly MDs, wich are also not that neurotypical… means they also are aspies. They all a from a different planet. I know some women who are aspies to. Communication works. Having sex ist not their thing, except one of them. That’s not easy too.
I learned communication, made my NLP master wich was good. I recognised how other people think, what kind of structure they use and that they are very different… very… i learned social skills wich were missing for long years and then worked a a coach wich was good. I had lot of boarderliners as patients and some aspies, they found their way to me. Somehow.
So that’s all. Some is good, some is bad. The older I get I want to do my things my may, only my way. I don’t like compromises, I love the things pure, direct and behave according. Not unkind or offensive but some people are a bit shocked sometimes. But that’s ok. I do not have to be everybody’s darling anymore and that’s the best I learned.


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