rse92 wrote:
Where did you get the idea that when a parent validates the child's feelings "the parent still gets to enjoy the fact that it's their child and not them that's unhappy"?
True or not, it definitely
seems that way sometimes. Adults aren't subject to even 10% of life's restrictions that kids are subject to. They can eat cookies for dinner if they wish. They can go the park any time they want. They get Vicodin, rather than aspirin, for post-surgery pain. Last but not least, adults' doctors go to great lengths to minimize their patients' pain and accommodate their fears, while pediatricians are basically butchers in a lab coat (or at least they were 30 years ago). Also, kids aren't stupid: they can see it all, they feel the unfairness of it, and they can't escape it.
So I still say it's pointless for an adult to validate a child's negative feelings if he/she won't make them go away. Understanding a child's misery means nothing if the child is still forced to suffer from it and be trapped in their childhood body.
"Validation" is fine for someone's
past misery, when it's long-gone, and they need to be told that their reaction to it was normal so they can "process" it out of existence. But when "validating" someone's
present misery, **** [defecate] or get off the pot!
19 Sep 2022, 6:46 pm
