Page 4 of 5 [ 66 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5  Next

funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,958
Location: I'm right here

22 Sep 2022, 1:15 pm

babybird wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
In the article it says grandiose one's are actually psychopaths - not NPD. The ones with low self esteem are the true narcissists.


I suppose it makes sense as they need to make other people feel like s**t in order to feel good about themselves.


Are they? I thought the grandiose ones were the ones more known for tearing down others, meanwhile the vulnerable ones are mostly seeking to reaffirm the idea that they have value.

I feel like the grandiose ones are the more antisocial (intentionally harmful to others) of the two, at least without provocation.


_________________
You can't buy happiness; steal it.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,745
Location: UK

22 Sep 2022, 1:53 pm

I've never heard of a vulnerable narcissist before. I've only ever heard of covert and malignant.


_________________
We have existence


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

22 Sep 2022, 2:01 pm

This is an informative read.

Might be triggering for anyone who's had to deal with people like this.

https://psychcentral.com/blog/psycholog ... ojection#1

Sorry BB...I'm derailing again! :P


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,745
Location: UK

22 Sep 2022, 2:10 pm

I think it's related in some ways. It's all cluster B personality types.

Plus it's educational.


_________________
We have existence


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

22 Sep 2022, 2:12 pm

:)

It's helpful for us all to learn so that we can protect ourselves from people like that.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,958
Location: I'm right here

22 Sep 2022, 2:40 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
:)

It's helpful for us all to learn so that we can protect ourselves from people like that.


Depending on our levels of self-awareness it might also help with culling those tendencies within ourselves.

I find a lot of the people who spend the most time talking about narcissists often seem to be thin-skinned, prone to assuming broad criticisms are personal, prone to seeking approval/affirmation, arrogant/need to remind us how they're not like others, etc.


_________________
You can't buy happiness; steal it.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

22 Sep 2022, 2:49 pm

The few people I've come across who are interested in learning about narcissists are the one's who have had to deal with such a person and scarred by it.

Myself included.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,745
Location: UK

22 Sep 2022, 2:49 pm

I always find Npd to be the most complex of personality disorders. I never know whether to pity them or hate them. I suppose the best thing to do is get out of the way of them but it's not always easy to see one coming.

Growing up in a household with one makes you hypervigilant sometimes so you start to see traits in almost everyone including yourself.

Sometimes it's probably better to look for the good in people and not the bad but still be protective of yourself where it matters.


_________________
We have existence


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,958
Location: I'm right here

22 Sep 2022, 3:29 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
The few people I've come across who are interested in learning about narcissists are the one's who have had to deal with such a person and scarred by it.

Myself included.


For what it's worth you're not among the people I'm including in that observation. It isn't so much discussion of narcissism as complaining about how all the others they encounter are narcissists that I'm meaning to describe.

That paranoid, stand-offish mindset always seems to be rooted in projection.


_________________
You can't buy happiness; steal it.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

22 Sep 2022, 3:50 pm

funeralxempire wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
The few people I've come across who are interested in learning about narcissists are the one's who have had to deal with such a person and scarred by it.

Myself included.


For what it's worth you're not among the people I'm including in that observation. It isn't so much discussion of narcissism as complaining about how all the others they encounter are narcissists that I'm meaning to describe.

That paranoid, stand-offish mindset always seems to be rooted in projection.

:lol: Yeah, I felt it important to make you aware that some of us learning about NPD have reasons outside your observation.

Yeah, what you've said is in the last link provided - more or less similar.


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 38
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 17,958
Location: I'm right here

22 Sep 2022, 5:07 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
The few people I've come across who are interested in learning about narcissists are the one's who have had to deal with such a person and scarred by it.

Myself included.


For what it's worth you're not among the people I'm including in that observation. It isn't so much discussion of narcissism as complaining about how all the others they encounter are narcissists that I'm meaning to describe.

That paranoid, stand-offish mindset always seems to be rooted in projection.

:lol: Yeah, I felt it important to make you aware that some of us learning about NPD have reasons outside your observation.

Yeah, what you've said is in the last link provided - more or less similar.


There might be some overlap as well, when I started reading about NPD much of my concern was with others but it's probably helped with being mindful of those tendencies within myself in order to improve as well.

Just like with a lot of things, they're normal traits that everyone possesses to some extent. Environments we're in can contribute to them becoming more pronounced*. Some features of ASD almost certainly contribute to a reduced awareness, or a greater ability to rationalize/justify the behaviour, at least in some of us.

Being mindful of the traits, as well as when it's appropriate helps with ensuring that one doesn't become a doormat, but also isn't just being a brat, or worse, veering between the two while rarely occupying the middle.

*say like being an outcast, then being identified as gifted and having people dismiss the former as the result of the latter, great way to contribute to a superiority complex one doesn't need.


_________________
You can't buy happiness; steal it.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 50
Gender: Female
Posts: 957
Location: England

22 Sep 2022, 7:20 pm

first one 5 out of 8

second one 19 out of 48


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,137
Location: England

23 Sep 2022, 7:04 am

babybird wrote:
I always find Npd to be the most complex of personality disorders. I never know whether to pity them or hate them. I suppose the best thing to do is get out of the way of them but it's not always easy to see one coming.

Growing up in a household with one makes you hypervigilant sometimes so you start to see traits in almost everyone including yourself.


Totally agree. Growing up with my narcissist mother means I still struggle to know who is actually being nice to me and is a good friend, and who is just using me/taking the mickey out of me. I'm getting better at this, hopefully.

I read that the best question to see if someone is a narcissist or not is:

How do you think you need to grow, improve or develop yourself?

A narcissist will reply angrily, take offence and deny they need to improve. After all, they're perfect aren't they?

A non-narcissist will think about the question.

Obviously ask this question in private so even non-narcissists won't be embarrassed.


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,745
Location: UK

23 Sep 2022, 11:14 am

That's a good question. I can see how a reasonable person would actually think about it.


_________________
We have existence


Where_am_I
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Apr 2019
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,070

23 Sep 2022, 11:38 am

How do you think you need to grow, improve or develop yourself?


Learn how to socialise without joking about murdering them and calling them a bastard mid sentence.

Do I pass? :P


_________________
"A loaded gun won't set you free. So you say." - Ian Curtis


babybird
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Nov 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 49,745
Location: UK

23 Sep 2022, 11:46 am

I would need to stop being so f*****g narcissistic


_________________
We have existence