Beyond Meat COO goes feral

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Misslizard
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21 Sep 2022, 5:29 pm

Attacks and bites man.
https://www.cnbc.com/2022/09/19/beyond- ... -nose.html

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Matrix Glitch
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21 Sep 2022, 11:58 pm

Veganism leads to cannibalism.

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22 Sep 2022, 1:09 am

Well... I guess the fake stuff wasn't enough to satisfy his cravings...

Is their next flavor going to be "long pig"?

Agent_Elflord
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23 Sep 2022, 10:07 am

Too bad it wasn't in Florida, would have been a nice Florida Man headline.

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23 Sep 2022, 10:15 am

Agent_Elflord wrote:

Too bad it wasn't in Florida, would have been a nice Florida Man headline.

If it were a florida man headline then it wouldn't be nearly as funny because it wouldn't be the COO of a vegan fake "meat" company and would instead by some (likely meth fueled) random crazy.

naturalplastic
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23 Sep 2022, 4:09 pm

So...denying yourself red meat too long causes you to go nutso, and to eat the noses off live humans?

Maybe.

Or, maybe not. Maybe he was high on "bath salts".

DanielW
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23 Sep 2022, 4:18 pm

Maybe Beyond meat is like Soylent Green and he now has a taste for "the real thing"?

Misslizard
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23 Sep 2022, 6:07 pm

Maybe the victim called him a “Soy Boy.”

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Matrix Glitch
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23 Sep 2022, 6:11 pm

Exclusive footage of the incident has been obtained. Viewer discretion advised.

Last edited by Matrix Glitch on 23 Sep 2022, 6:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

blazingstar
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23 Sep 2022, 6:13 pm

It starts with carrots. He probably munched on the snowman's nose as a child.

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