Want to avoid people when they are angry. Is this wrong?

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I do feel what has happened is my fault but there was a birthday party on my stepmum's side of the family today and I had only just told her at the last minute the reasons for not going was because I had to work and that if I had a day off today I would have come. But she understandably got upset that I told them at the last minute sent me message after message but didn't want to look at them because I was worried about what the reaction was going to be and when I glanced for a second at the messages I turned away and deleted them. I even had them ringing several times and refused to answer the phone.

So I ended up going to work in quite an unhappy mood and didn't feel like being there. It didn't even help when I saw a protest march in the high street telling people to support the strikes going on as I'm fed up of hearing about price rises and cost of living as though even in a developed country such as the UK, basic essentials are going to cost you ''thousands'' of pounds to buy them a bit like loaf of a bread would cost thousands of marks in Germany in the 1920s.

Any way I know that's an entirely different subject but it still didn't improve my mood. I even got a coffee on my break which was more milk than anything else and ended up pouring it down the drain and had to go another two hours without one which didn't make me happy either. I do feel the reason for avoiding those phone calls was because I didn't want to be talking to my dad and stepmum getting angry at me. I can't stand being shouted at and I'd rather they spoke to me when they are calmer.

I do feel as though I'm a bad person for just walking away for something because I don't always want to face them. I used to do that when I'd have days at school or college where I get there after being dropped off then walk down to the bus stop and get the bus back home again. I would do that sometimes without even telling anybody as though I thought ''Oh well, I think they'll know anyway.'' The people who worked with me in class didn't lose their jobs if I didn't turn up. They were still there when I came back another day.

its pretty normal

Seems like an over-reaction on their part, frankly. I can understand being a little bit annoyed about something like that, but annoyed enough to bombard you with message after message? Way out of proportion. You'd think they be happy you take your job seriously, too.

I also feel angry at myself because other people are angry at me. It then makes me feel like wanting to ''let it out'' and that even when I was talking to people earlier at the table, I found myself as though I ''wanted'' to get angry and just saying ''People shouldn't get angry even if I've told them at the last minute'', ''It shouldn't be a bad thing to avoid the situation, as its not like I just swore in their face and walked away.'' All these thoughts are running around in my head even though I KNOW that I can't dictate or decide who gets angry and who doesn't and have been told that it IS a bad thing to avoid things sometimes as it just makes those who are not happy with me more frustrated and to not talk to them or tell them at the last minute.

Is it possible that she is on the spectrum herself? I mean if people I thought I was seeing just cancelled, espically for work which they knew they had to do and didn't tell me it would completely ruin my day and I'd be beyond fuming. Unexpected things, like a kid sick etc I can tolerate a little better though.

That said I understand your actions too. It's hard to find a happy medium to help everyone. Did you at least send a card to the person who's birthday it was?

Natural to avoid unpleasant situations. Many people would do that. You shouldn't blame yourself for what many people would do.

If anything, you could've told your step-mum well in advance that you won't be able to come to that birthday party because of your work commitment.

Sweet Pea hugs

If they're angry because of something you did, and you avoid them, it's not cool. To them you're just a worm escaping through the cracks.

Been there myself not that long ago.

I want to avoid people because they make ME angry. They make me angry even when they're not around.