I keep crushing on fictional characters

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DuckHairback
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04 Oct 2022, 1:22 pm

kmb501 wrote:
I guess, in essence, what I'm asking for is a relationship with someone who'll be as open to me as a fictional character, and that's not realistic, is it?


Well it is and isn't. You never get full access to anyone's inner thoughts the way you do with a fictional character. But if you develop a deep trusting relationship over time you can get close, I think.

The trouble is it takes time and patience and, in the case of us ASD types, someone who is prepared to put some extra work in. They do exist. I found one. Others have too.


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KitLily
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05 Oct 2022, 2:16 am

goldfish21 wrote:
Just wait, AI robots are coming.. and no one's going to spend $$$$$ on them unless they come with realistic sex organs. The next evolution of internet porn is rising...


Sadly I think you are correct. Soon humans won't have to interact with other humans at all.


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Jamesy
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07 Oct 2022, 10:08 am

I always have had a crush on the little mermaid 8)



DuckHairback
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07 Oct 2022, 1:33 pm


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kmb501
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12 Oct 2022, 10:51 am

Sigh. I guess it is kind of a weird desire. Sometimes my emotions don't let me know those things, and it's weird when they actually do, because then things I like I'm kind of scared by. I hate that.



Rotter
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14 Oct 2022, 5:00 pm

kmb501 wrote:
Okay, so I'm in my later 30s, and I'm pretty sure my dream guys don't exist .... Any tips on making my expectations more realistic

I know how to solve your problem -- I know the missing piece of info you need, but I can never tell you, because if I ever do, you'll hate me for saying it. This means I can't help you, and unfortunately the secret piece of info must remain secret forever.



Where_am_I
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15 Oct 2022, 5:51 am

Rotter wrote:
kmb501 wrote:
Okay, so I'm in my later 30s, and I'm pretty sure my dream guys don't exist .... Any tips on making my expectations more realistic

I know how to solve your problem -- I know the missing piece of info you need, but I can never tell you, because if I ever do, you'll hate me for saying it. This means I can't help you, and unfortunately the secret piece of info must remain secret forever.

Then what's the point of your post? How is it helpful for the OP?


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Rotter
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15 Oct 2022, 7:59 am

Where_am_I wrote:
Then what's the point of your post? How is it helpful for the OP?

It's a way of softening the blow of delivering bad news or the painful truth, instead of just slamming it in someone's face all in one big painful hit. Too often, NTs flip out like mad hatters when the truth is delivered to them in one single message. Therefore it's advisible to split it into multiple pieces over time. The OP is not NT, but this doesn't justify doing nothing to soften the blow.



Mitchell M.
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15 Oct 2022, 12:46 pm

Rotter wrote:
Where_am_I wrote:
Then what's the point of your post? How is it helpful for the OP?

It's a way of softening the blow of delivering bad news or the painful truth, instead of just slamming it in someone's face all in one big painful hit. Too often, NTs flip out like mad hatters when the truth is delivered to them in one single message. Therefore it's advisible to split it into multiple pieces over time. The OP is not NT, but this doesn't justify doing nothing to soften the blow.


Just speak your mind or don't say anything at all. Weird cryptic messages don't add to the conversation.



Rotter
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15 Oct 2022, 5:53 pm

Mitchell M. wrote:
Just speak your mind or don't say anything at all.

WP's rules need to be respected. It would've been wrong to just immediately post my opinion on the OP's question, because it could've come across as a personal attack on the OP -- unintentionally. To make it clear that no personal attack is intended, it's respectful to first check whether or not the person wants to hear the bad news.

For example, it's possible that the OP could've replied to my message with something along the lines of: "Don't worry, I promise not to hate you. I want to hear the bad news even if it hurts."

Then it would be appropriate to post a second message (part 2) with my opinion on the question, because I'd have the OP's permission/invitation to do that. Alternatively, if the OP never replies to my message, then it's better to leave my opinion unsaid, because she's not interested in it. This method is respectful to the OP and respectful to WP's rules.

Mitchell M. wrote:
Weird cryptic messages don't add to the conversation.

That's because, as I mentioned in my previous message, it's advisible to split it into multiple pieces over time. That's why the first message is not fully comprehensible -- because it's only part 1 of 2. To understand it properly, you need to read part 2, but part 2 will never be posted unless the OP says she wants to read part 2 including bad news. That's the right way of handling this.

Also, I believe you might have missed or discounted the following part of the OP's message:
kmb501 wrote:
people who are interested in the things I'm interested in (hopefully to the point of having a secret spy lair in the basement)

See, the OP's message indicates she likes secret things, and my message also mentioned secrets, therefore the theme of my message is the same theme as the OP's theme. That's respectful and fun.

This thread belongs to the OP. Let the OP make her own decision instead of making it for her.



Where_am_I
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15 Oct 2022, 6:34 pm

^ Respectful and fun?? More like a mind f**k.

I'll leave you to it, and hope the OP is the least bit intrigued by the 'bad news' you're itching to get out of your system.


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Rotter
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15 Oct 2022, 7:29 pm

Where_am_I wrote:
More like a mind f**k.

I believe that describing it as "a mind f**k" is an extreme exaggeration, but even if someone does post a mind f**k in this thread just for fun (in a harmless manner), then it would be on-topic -- it would fit the OP's theme. The OP mentioned liking Jack Napier. Do you know who that is? Jack Napier is the psychopathic mobster also known as the Joker in Batman. The OP also mentioned Stanley Ipkiss and John Wick. That's a total of 3 fictional characters who would fit with a mind f**k theme.

I get the impression that maybe you and Mitchell don't like the OP's theme of cloak & dagger, spies, and secrets. It's OK if you don't like the OP's theme, but this thread belongs to the OP, and nobody is forced to participate in this thread if they don't like it, so why don't we all just follow the OP's direction and wishes, whatever that may be?

Where_am_I wrote:
hope the OP is the least bit intrigued by the 'bad news' you're itching to get out of your system.

The fact that I've withheld my opinion on the OP's question demonstrates the opposite of itching to say it. It demonstrates that I don't care whether or not the OP wants to hear my opinion, therefore I won't bother writing it unless invited to. It makes no difference to me whether the OP replies.

By the way, if the OP does reply sometime, and then I'm totally silent, it simply means I'm not reading this thread anymore because I'm occupied by other tasks.



Rotter
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15 Oct 2022, 8:29 pm

Oh, correction: If I'm silent in the near future, then it means one of two things: Either I'm not reading this thread anymore or kmb501 sent John Wick to assassinate me to protect her secrets from disclosure :-)

OH MY GODS!! I just realized that Where_am_I and Mitchell must be secretly working for Viggo Tarasov, and that's why they're so strangely determined to pressure me into divulging kmb501's secrets ASAP without her permission! :P



kmb501
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20 Oct 2022, 12:01 pm

Rotter wrote:
kmb501 wrote:
Okay, so I'm in my later 30s, and I'm pretty sure my dream guys don't exist .... Any tips on making my expectations more realistic

I know how to solve your problem -- I know the missing piece of info you need, but I can never tell you, because if I ever do, you'll hate me for saying it. This means I can't help you, and unfortunately the secret piece of info must remain secret forever.


I'm interested, I guess, but it's probably going to be something like "have more realistic expectations" or something to that effect, and I agree with you if that's what you're going to say.

Unfortunately, I don't know Keanu Reeves, so John Wick is not in your future. /s



Ethan Rob
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23 Oct 2022, 4:42 am

First of all, it's normal that you like fictional characters. Because the fictional characters you're talking about have a lot of good qualities. And they have a personality that you lack. So you will be attracted to them.

But that doesn't mean you can't find such a partner in the real world. You can try some dating sites or offline dating places to find some real men with similar personalities.



Mikurotoro92
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23 Oct 2022, 2:09 pm

Heh I have weird dreams about cartoon characters like Mickey Mouse and SpongeBob SquarePants along with anime and video game characters

Neuro-typicals say I am a freak and need a therapist but it's a coping mechanism for not having a real relationship