I keep crushing on fictional characters

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Mikurotoro92
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14 Nov 2022, 11:08 am

Yeah I am considering online dating too but my situation is a little different because I have to take care of my mom

Even if I do find a partner I fear my mom STILL won't let me leave home since I'm needed as a caretaker!

Which is why I am working on untethering myself FIRST then once I move out THEN start looking for a partner

This means my first step is to get a job and a car

But sometimes life has a funny way of working out and who knows?

I could possibly meet a guy at Physical Therapy today!

Or that guy our friend Debbie is setting me up with as a pen pal could end up being my future husband...



nick007
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14 Nov 2022, 6:10 pm

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
Yeah I am considering online dating too but my situation is a little different because I have to take care of my mom

Even if I do find a partner I fear my mom STILL won't let me leave home since I'm needed as a caretaker!

Which is why I am working on untethering myself FIRST then once I move out THEN start looking for a partner

This means my first step is to get a job and a car

But sometimes life has a funny way of working out and who knows?

I could possibly meet a guy at Physical Therapy today!

Or that guy our friend Debbie is setting me up with as a pen pal could end up being my future husband...
I understand. My situation was a bit different. I realized in my case that unthering myself on my own was just not in the cards. You & your brother would need to have a plan for your mom before you can really break free. It's good to try & become more independent in the meantime thou & keep the option of a relationship open but not your main focus. Depending on the type of care you provide to your mom, the experience might could be helpful for employment.


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Mikurotoro92
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14 Nov 2022, 6:30 pm

See that's the issue

How can me and my brother break free AND make sure my mom's needs are adequately met?

I believe it's going to come down to my mom having a major health crisis which forces her into the ER and eventually Assisted Living that will FINALLY allow us to untether from her!

That's when I can put finding a romantic relationship at the forefront of my desires

I have been trying to untether myself for years but I have failed EVERY TIME because either I don't have the resources needed to be on my own or I have been guilt-tripped into staying here

But we have a lady named Cathy who is helping us become independant so it may not be long now until we are free...



Mikurotoro92
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14 Nov 2022, 10:15 pm

Even being moved to a group home is STILL untethering ourselves from our mom which is what I feel will ultimately happen to us

It would go like this:

In the near future my mom is going to have a life-threatening emergency that forces her to go back to the hospital

Only this time she doesn't get to return home and is placed into Assisted Living

Then they will decide to move me and my brother to a group home where we would FINALLY be free from my mom!

It is here where I will make friends and find the love of my life

Then will come the 6 months of dating and if I play my cards right...marriage

My mom will probably die before my wedding

The only thing stopping me from finding my soulmate is being tethered to my mom!

Well, that all is going to change next year

2023 will be MY year of independance & love!! !



Last edited by Mikurotoro92 on 14 Nov 2022, 10:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.

UncannyDanny
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14 Nov 2022, 10:26 pm

^Have you considered doing long-distance dating for now, since your mother needs your help right now? Speaking of which, do you know any other people your mom knows who can potentially take care of her.

TBH, I'm in a pretty similar situation as you are, Miss Miku.



Mikurotoro92
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14 Nov 2022, 11:23 pm

Yeah it sucks

I HATE having to be my mom's slave instead of going to social events and meeting new people!

This has set me back 2 years from looking for my soulmate and a good career

I'm sick of it so I have been creating a plan for next year to FINALLY untether myself from my mom ONCE AND FOR ALL



UncannyDanny
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15 Nov 2022, 8:36 am

^You're not EXACTLY planning to poison your mother to death, are you? D:

Edit: Oh, wait. NVM, you said she'll be taken to Assisted Living for the next year. I hope she'll like it there.

I GUESS you can say I'm half-joking on my first sentence of this post here. :roll:



Mikurotoro92
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15 Nov 2022, 10:37 am

Lol no way!

I mean I am creating a plan to become independant and autonomous next year

I have no idea how long my mom has left

Putting her in Assisted Living or nursing home is the solution but it means patiently waiting for her to have a major health crisis



nick007
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17 Nov 2022, 12:57 am

UncannyDanny wrote:
^Have you considered doing long-distance dating for now, since your mother needs your help right now? Speaking of which, do you know any other people your mom knows who can potentially take care of her.
If she's in the US, Depending on her resources, income/benefits, & current living situation, she may be able to have a live-in-aid/caretaker who lives there for free & gets a stipend from Medicaid or SNAP(Food Stamps). However you & your brother would have to find a different living situation Mikurotoro. In theory if your brother could be independent & on his own & if you could find a boyfriend/husband you could move in with, that could solve the problem. Corse that would probably be a lot for work to get setup as well & you'd have to be very careful about the guy not being an extremely controlling abuser.

I'm considered to be my gf's caretaker because of her issues with living alone. My income does not affect her benefits since I'm not supposed to be paying rent & utilities like electricity, water, & gas(instead I pay for our cable, net, cellphones, & some personal & over the counter meds & supplements & such for her). Since she's on SNAP, I could get a stipend from SNAP if I was not on Social Security Disability but I could get it if I was working instead of collecting disability. It seems kinda screwy since I would be allowed to work part time some & still collect disability & being her caretaker could potentially prevent me from working at all. OK I'll admit that officially being her caretaker isn't really my reason for not working, it's probably more of an excuse since I'm overwhelmed by the idea of trying to find employment I could do that would allow me to work very limited hours so I don't risk screwing up my benefits.

I have no personal experience with group homes. I could not get in them due to them being majorly underfunded in my area & me not having the right diagnoses or not being severely disabled enough in specific areas instead of looking at the whole picture & combo of all my various issues. I heard some group homes don't allow adults to have adult rights. They're basically put in guardianship situations & get treated like they are little kids who are not allowed to go out by themselves & they have set bedtimes & stuff.


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Mikurotoro92
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17 Nov 2022, 1:24 am

nick007 wrote:
If she's in the US, Depending on her resources, income/benefits, & current living situation, she may be able to have a live-in-aid/caretaker who lives there for free & gets a stipend from Medicaid or SNAP(Food Stamps). However you & your brother would have to find a different living situation Mikurotoro. In theory if your brother could be independent & on his own & if you could find a boyfriend/husband you could move in with, that could solve the problem. Corse that would probably be a lot for work to get setup as well & you'd have to be very careful about the guy not being an extremely controlling abuser.

I'm considered to be my gf's caretaker because of her issues with living alone. My income does not affect her benefits since I'm not supposed to be paying rent & utilities like electricity, water, & gas(instead I pay for our cable, net, cellphones, & some personal & over the counter meds & supplements & such for her). Since she's on SNAP, I could get a stipend from SNAP if I was not on Social Security Disability but I could get it if I was working instead of collecting disability. It seems kinda screwy since I would be allowed to work part time some & still collect disability & being her caretaker could potentially prevent me from working at all. OK I'll admit that officially being her caretaker isn't really my reason for not working, it's probably more of an excuse since I'm overwhelmed by the idea of trying to find employment I could do that would allow me to work very limited hours so I don't risk screwing up my benefits.

I have no personal experience with group homes. I could not get in them due to them being majorly underfunded in my area & me not having the right diagnoses or not being severely disabled enough in specific areas instead of looking at the whole picture & combo of all my various issues. I heard some group homes don't allow adults to have adult rights. They're basically put in guardianship situations & get treated like they are little kids who are not allowed to go out by themselves & they have set bedtimes & stuff.


All my friends think I'm too immature for love because I don't get out into the world often enough

That's NOT my fault

It's because of me having to be my mom's caretaker

Yes I live in the U.S

I'm not sure if my brother desires to be independant but I think he secretly does based on how he acts when my mom asks him to do some ridiculous demand

Well now that I have met someone through our friend and he is possibly interested in starting a relationship that COULD lead to marriage it may not be long now until I am untethered from my mom!



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17 Nov 2022, 7:23 am

This situation is confusing because you and your brother seem tied to your mother due to her lack of independence OTOH you raise doubts about your own independence. It's perfectly true that somebody who is borderline independent can do just fine living in a partnered situation i.e. sharing a bed as well as a dwelling but might not do well living alone. However in the world of disability people are expected to become fully independent before getting "permission" to enter into an intimate relationship. Ironically the same isn't expected of NTs, who can go from living with parents to being married to their college sweetheart with zero disapproval. I was in a situation something like this when I moved in with a woman who was probably autistic, who had just moved out of her parents' house with no real plan for long-term independence and I think my parents believed she was trading sex for rent, food, and transportation and I suppose for the couple of months until she found a job this was arguably true although the fact is that we were truly in love with each other. Truth to tell she was way more independent than she appeared to be and I much less. In fact I didn't live entirely on my own until I was 27 and even that didn't ultimately work out; I moved back in with my parents until I was almost 30 (and then found myself sleeping with one of my neighbors at my next apartment).

You are in a period of great change in your life. Please continue to provide updates!


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17 Nov 2022, 7:40 am

Mikurotoro92 wrote:
nick007 wrote:
If she's in the US, Depending on her resources, income/benefits, & current living situation, she may be able to have a live-in-aid/caretaker who lives there for free & gets a stipend from Medicaid or SNAP(Food Stamps). However you & your brother would have to find a different living situation Mikurotoro. In theory if your brother could be independent & on his own & if you could find a boyfriend/husband you could move in with, that could solve the problem. Corse that would probably be a lot for work to get setup as well & you'd have to be very careful about the guy not being an extremely controlling abuser.

I'm considered to be my gf's caretaker because of her issues with living alone. My income does not affect her benefits since I'm not supposed to be paying rent & utilities like electricity, water, & gas(instead I pay for our cable, net, cellphones, & some personal & over the counter meds & supplements & such for her). Since she's on SNAP, I could get a stipend from SNAP if I was not on Social Security Disability but I could get it if I was working instead of collecting disability. It seems kinda screwy since I would be allowed to work part time some & still collect disability & being her caretaker could potentially prevent me from working at all. OK I'll admit that officially being her caretaker isn't really my reason for not working, it's probably more of an excuse since I'm overwhelmed by the idea of trying to find employment I could do that would allow me to work very limited hours so I don't risk screwing up my benefits.

I have no personal experience with group homes. I could not get in them due to them being majorly underfunded in my area & me not having the right diagnoses or not being severely disabled enough in specific areas instead of looking at the whole picture & combo of all my various issues. I heard some group homes don't allow adults to have adult rights. They're basically put in guardianship situations & get treated like they are little kids who are not allowed to go out by themselves & they have set bedtimes & stuff.


All my friends think I'm too immature for love because I don't get out into the world often enough

That's NOT my fault

It's because of me having to be my mom's caretaker

Yes I live in the U.S

I'm not sure if my brother desires to be independant but I think he secretly does based on how he acts when my mom asks him to do some ridiculous demand

Well now that I have met someone through our friend and he is possibly interested in starting a relationship that COULD lead to marriage it may not be long now until I am untethered from my mom!

Well, I wish you the best of luck, then.



Mikurotoro92
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17 Nov 2022, 4:36 pm

MaxE wrote:
This situation is confusing because you and your brother seem tied to your mother due to her lack of independence OTOH you raise doubts about your own independence. It's perfectly true that somebody who is borderline independent can do just fine living in a partnered situation i.e. sharing a bed as well as a dwelling but might not do well living alone. However in the world of disability people are expected to become fully independent before getting "permission" to enter into an intimate relationship. Ironically the same isn't expected of NTs, who can go from living with parents to being married to their college sweetheart with zero disapproval. I was in a situation something like this when I moved in with a woman who was probably autistic, who had just moved out of her parents' house with no real plan for long-term independence and I think my parents believed she was trading sex for rent, food, and transportation and I suppose for the couple of months until she found a job this was arguably true although the fact is that we were truly in love with each other. Truth to tell she was way more independent than she appeared to be and I much less. In fact I didn't live entirely on my own until I was 27 and even that didn't ultimately work out; I moved back in with my parents until I was almost 30 (and then found myself sleeping with one of my neighbors at my next apartment).

You are in a period of great change in your life. Please continue to provide updates!


The issue is I am TRYING to become independant either from finding my soulmate or by getting a job and moving out on my own, whichever comes first

Being my mom's caregiver is what is preventing me from making the changes that I need to make in order to propel my life forward

I know exactly what must be done to be able to find my soulmate but it's hard for me to have my desires manifest so I can actually go out and make it happen!

All because I am stuck at home taking care of my mom



Mikurotoro92
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17 Nov 2022, 6:51 pm

And let's return to the original topic of this thread:

Falling in love with fictional characters

Some of those fictional cartoon characters, such as SpongeBob SquarePants I actually share many things in common with so it makes sense why I fantasize about them

But what if this is an omen or premonition from God that my soulmate is about to reveal and manifest itself VERY soon?

Maybe God feels I have suffered enough being my mom's caregiver that he is offering me a way out



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17 Nov 2022, 8:38 pm

^I'm sure you'll find your potential soulmate soon enough.

Me, I may even have the worst luck than you are, Sara.



Mikurotoro92
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17 Nov 2022, 9:57 pm

UncannyDanny wrote:
^I'm sure you'll find your potential soulmate soon enough.

Me, I may even have the worst luck than you are, Sara.


Yeah I prayed to God today because the pastor's wife told me that's the way to manifest true love

She said now I must wait until God creates a scenario that will allow me to converge with my soulmate

Why are you having bad luck manifesting your soulmate Danny?

Look at your quote from the Fire Emblem character Corrin

THAT should give you (and me!) hope that love will happen for both of us and we just need to believe we are in control of the outcome of our reality!


EDIT: But first thing to do is break away from our parents and become independant

Unfortunately, that's where the challenging part lies