I keep crushing on fictional characters

Page 1 of 6 [ 91 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

kmb501
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 94
Location: Texas

02 Oct 2022, 9:52 am

Okay, so I'm in my later 30s, and I'm pretty sure my dream guys don't exist because they're fictional characters. I want someone who is my opposite and who can make up for what I'm not, and in my case that's a funny successful guy who's probably some kind of spy or con-artist. Fictional characters like John Wick, Sherlock Holmes, James Bond, Stanley Ipkiss, Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne, and Jack Napier fit the ticket, but you know, I'm probably not going to find people who are like that in real life, and if I do, there's a good chance they won't be interested me. Any tips on making my expectations more realistic, or should I just let my geek flag fly and look for places likely to have people who are interested in the things I'm interested in (hopefully to the point of having a secret spy lair in the basement)?



Last edited by kmb501 on 02 Oct 2022, 9:57 am, edited 1 time in total.

KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,213
Location: England

02 Oct 2022, 9:56 am

kmb501 wrote:
or should I just let my geek flag fly and look for places likely to have people who are interested in the things I'm interested in (hopefully to the point of having a secret spy lair in the basement)?


That looks the best option IMO. I think doing that can lead to finding friends and lovers. You may find your own 'world' of friends and enjoy the company of like minded people :D


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


kmb501
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 94
Location: Texas

02 Oct 2022, 10:00 am

In that case, any ideas on where to look? I'm low-key afraid of being instantly rejected when people find out what a nerd I am.



AprilR
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Apr 2016
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,172

02 Oct 2022, 11:18 am

I am also like you and in my 30s! I wish i could give you some advice but there doesn't seem to be any men that have the same interests as me :(



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,874
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

02 Oct 2022, 11:36 am

Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


kmb501
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 94
Location: Texas

02 Oct 2022, 3:26 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


True, but I have no idea where to find people like that, who are comfortable enough to roleplay for/with me.



r00tb33r
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 May 2016
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,073
Location: Virginia

02 Oct 2022, 3:53 pm

Yeah, happened a lot when I was younger.

Now, did I have a crush on Molly Millions? Actually, I think not. But there were others.


_________________
I've reached the end.


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,874
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

02 Oct 2022, 5:29 pm

kmb501 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


True, but I have no idea where to find people like that, who are comfortable enough to roleplay for/with me.

There are websites/apps specifically for people into kinks and fetishes. Could try one/some of those.

Also, your role play fantasy isn’t ultra common but it’s not super weird or gross or anything, so you might find that nearly any guy you date might be willing to indulge you in it. I mean, if the guy likes You and is willing to do/say things that turn you on I don’t see why he’d be like “Ew gross no, I’d never role play as a sexy spy!” lol


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


kmb501
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 94
Location: Texas

02 Oct 2022, 7:42 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
kmb501 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


True, but I have no idea where to find people like that, who are comfortable enough to roleplay for/with me.

There are websites/apps specifically for people into kinks and fetishes. Could try one/some of those.

Also, your role play fantasy isn’t ultra common but it’s not super weird or gross or anything, so you might find that nearly any guy you date might be willing to indulge you in it. I mean, if the guy likes You and is willing to do/say things that turn you on I don’t see why he’d be like “Ew gross no, I’d never role play as a sexy spy!” lol


It might be viewed as a kink, but to me, this isn't even sexual. I just want to see another person as a character I like. You can get to know people on a pretty deep level through a deeply shared interest, but most of the people I find in real life are just not really my type. I guess they think that I'm not into anything "weird," because I "mask" a lot, but it would be nice to find a place where I could be myself and experiment with new personas and just engage in play without it being considered some kind of fetish or something. I mean, non-autistics engage in cosplay and live-action role play, and no one accuses what they do of being sexual.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 25,733
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

02 Oct 2022, 7:49 pm

goldfish21 wrote:
kmb501 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


True, but I have no idea where to find people like that, who are comfortable enough to roleplay for/with me.

There are websites/apps specifically for people into kinks and fetishes. Could try one/some of those.

Also, your role play fantasy isn’t ultra common but it’s not super weird or gross or anything, so you might find that nearly any guy you date might be willing to indulge you in it. I mean, if the guy likes You and is willing to do/say things that turn you on I don’t see why he’d be like “Ew gross no, I’d never role play as a sexy spy!” lol
Good point. I bet lots of guys would be willing since they know they'll be getting laid.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


Kitty4670
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Nov 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,114
Location: California,USA

02 Oct 2022, 8:31 pm

I will admit, I found some game characters attractive, LOL. I need a boyfriend.


_________________
You are my shining star that shine so bright that guide me to the light, so keep on rockin', cuz That's Rock and Roll


KitLily
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Jan 2021
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,213
Location: England

03 Oct 2022, 6:48 am

Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I wish I knew where to look for friends! I'd love to find a 'world' for myself where everyone had the same interests as me but I never did! (now aged 53)

I would guess Cosplay or something if you have a vivid imagination? But I've looked up cosplay and personally it's too far away for me and too expensive. Everything seems to be monetised these days and not just 'a few friends dressing up and having a laugh.'


_________________
I am here for interesting, meaningful discussions and thoughtful, rewarding conversations. I very quickly lose interest in long, drawn-out arguments.
***
I'm sorry if I get you mixed up with other people, I'm not good at telling people apart. Just remind me of our last conversation then I'll know who you are.


DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,112
Location: Dorset

03 Oct 2022, 7:08 am

This doesn't sound like role-play fantasy to me.

Fictional characters open up to us in ways that real people often don't. We share very intimate moments with them and are often given deep insight into their psyches in a way that is probably quite similar to what happens in deep, long term relationships.

So if we struggle to make those relationships in real life, fictional characters can probably provide some sort of substitute. They might also give us license to fill in the blanks around them that the authors haven't done for us. The danger in doing that is that we create 'perfect' people that are actually just ourselves mirrored back. It's only a problem if that leads you to discount real people for not being perfect.


_________________
Sorry, I do tend to go on a bit. I'm trying to rein it in. It's not easy.


kmb501
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jun 2015
Gender: Female
Posts: 94
Location: Texas

03 Oct 2022, 10:52 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
This doesn't sound like role-play fantasy to me.

Fictional characters open up to us in ways that real people often don't. We share very intimate moments with them and are often given deep insight into their psyches in a way that is probably quite similar to what happens in deep, long term relationships.

So if we struggle to make those relationships in real life, fictional characters can probably provide some sort of substitute. They might also give us license to fill in the blanks around them that the authors haven't done for us. The danger in doing that is that we create 'perfect' people that are actually just ourselves mirrored back. It's only a problem if that leads you to discount real people for not being perfect.


Yeah, this is probably closer to what I'm doing actually. For several years, fictional characters have seemed more interesting to me than real people. I mean, they won't get mad at you if you make some kind of mistake. It's likely they won't embarrass you in public. There aren't any communication problems because you're the one making up what they're thinking. I guess, in essence, what I'm asking for is a relationship with someone who'll be as open to me as a fictional character, and that's not realistic, is it?



goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,874
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

04 Oct 2022, 1:13 pm

kmb501 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
kmb501 wrote:
goldfish21 wrote:
Spy could be something you're guy role-plays for you at home or in the bedroom.. just saying - maybe it's more of a kink that turns you on vs. having to actually find a real life spy. You're attracted to fictional spies, anyways, sooo what difference would it make if your partner acted the part instead of lived it 24/7 ? Or maybe he's a major James Bond nerd and doesn't mind one iota keeping up the ruse in conversation and just acting, to you, like he IS a spy in real life.. even if his cover job is working down at a local shop.

Just sayin'.. there might be ways you can make this happen and enjoy it.


True, but I have no idea where to find people like that, who are comfortable enough to roleplay for/with me.

There are websites/apps specifically for people into kinks and fetishes. Could try one/some of those.

Also, your role play fantasy isn’t ultra common but it’s not super weird or gross or anything, so you might find that nearly any guy you date might be willing to indulge you in it. I mean, if the guy likes You and is willing to do/say things that turn you on I don’t see why he’d be like “Ew gross no, I’d never role play as a sexy spy!” lol


It might be viewed as a kink, but to me, this isn't even sexual. I just want to see another person as a character I like. You can get to know people on a pretty deep level through a deeply shared interest, but most of the people I find in real life are just not really my type. I guess they think that I'm not into anything "weird," because I "mask" a lot, but it would be nice to find a place where I could be myself and experiment with new personas and just engage in play without it being considered some kind of fetish or something. I mean, non-autistics engage in cosplay and live-action role play, and no one accuses what they do of being sexual.

Maybe you'll meet your guy at one of those nerd conventions where people dress up as their favourite characters from cartoons/animes/video games etc ? Maybe there's one where you spot some guy in a James Bond getup and you ask him if he dresses like that daily & then suggest he should.. boom, go for martinis - shaken, not stirred. 8)


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Posts: 17,874
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

04 Oct 2022, 1:20 pm

kmb501 wrote:
DuckHairback wrote:
This doesn't sound like role-play fantasy to me.

Fictional characters open up to us in ways that real people often don't. We share very intimate moments with them and are often given deep insight into their psyches in a way that is probably quite similar to what happens in deep, long term relationships.

So if we struggle to make those relationships in real life, fictional characters can probably provide some sort of substitute. They might also give us license to fill in the blanks around them that the authors haven't done for us. The danger in doing that is that we create 'perfect' people that are actually just ourselves mirrored back. It's only a problem if that leads you to discount real people for not being perfect.


Yeah, this is probably closer to what I'm doing actually. For several years, fictional characters have seemed more interesting to me than real people. I mean, they won't get mad at you if you make some kind of mistake. It's likely they won't embarrass you in public. There aren't any communication problems because you're the one making up what they're thinking. I guess, in essence, what I'm asking for is a relationship with someone who'll be as open to me as a fictional character, and that's not realistic, is it?

Just wait, AI robots are coming.. and no one's going to spend $$$$$ on them unless they come with realistic sex organs. The next evolution of internet porn is rising...


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.