One sided conversations, inappropriate social reactions

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Noamx
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03 Oct 2022, 11:55 pm

Hi everyone, I have a question about my Asperger Syndrome.

Well basically, I was hoping if you can please read the symptoms written in this photo, and if you can please explain, if you have these symptoms yourself too, or if you possibly know how to deal better with these symptoms?

Thank you. I'm attaching the photo now.

If you cant see the photo, please go to this link:

https://slideplayer.com/slide/13026481/ ... mptoms.jpg

https://ibb.co/4dx3221



Image


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himmellaufen
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04 Oct 2022, 12:03 am

Everything except robotic speech. I deal with it by limiting social interactions as much as possible.



Joe90
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04 Oct 2022, 6:21 am

My symptoms are spiky, and I don't mean one symptom is more severe than another, but I mean it depends on the environment, what the context of the situation is, and what sort of people I'm around.

I'm not the sort to unwillingly say things that will hurt other people without knowing, even though I'm impulsive. So in other words I know my social boundaries. The only thing I can sometimes do is to blurt out a personal fact about myself that is meant to be private, such as certain medical things. People often say "too much information!" But that is based on impulse more than being oblivious. Sometimes I can laugh too much if I really like somebody, which is sometimes misinterpreted as me laughing at them. Also I can go off-topic accidentally and people often say "I'm asking A, not B".

I don't have robotic or repetitive speech.

I don't usually have difficulty with recognising non-verbal communication. I can interpret how someone is feeling or intentions through body language and tone of voice. This sometimes causes anxiety as I am often hypersensitive to other's emotions.

I am not sure about the tendency to talk about myself rather than others. If it means bringing up my personal experiences or feelings in a conversation then I'm guilty of this but I heard NT people like to talk about themselves too. Maybe I use the word "I" too much. But I do enjoy gossip and I talk about other people (not horribly, just discuss social stuff). I love talking about people as people fascinate me. But I don't blab out things I shouldn't, like if someone has badmouthed another person I know not to repeat it to that person as I know it will upset both parties.

Sometimes I can interpret things literally but it's not really a frequent occurrence. Sometimes I just don't always know how to react but that doesn't mean I haven't got the joke. Other times it's easy to take it the literal way.

I used to have obsessions with certain people that I'd impulsively talk non-stop about but otherwise I have never had narrow special interests.

I'm one-sided online (WP) more than I am offline. I just like to pour everything out here, while offline I'm more attached to other people.

I don't have awkward movements or mannerisms.

My Asperger's symptoms seem to be more how I think and see the world. The world can seem senseless, unpredictable, noisy and even scary. And I have odd thoughts that I know others don't have, such as getting very upset whenever people go "sshh" (it's so cringing!), having an odd phobia of clothing tags (I feel like vomiting whenever I see one), anticipating sudden loud noises too much so that it's painful to my nerves when it occurs, finding it hard to ignore things, feeling extremely embarrassed about things like farts to the point where I'd rather die than have a colonoscopy, being extremely sensitive to pain, having an urge to complain, complain, complain (although as an adult I have learnt not to, which is the only time I mask, but I have to let it out somewhere still so sorry WP...).
Stuff like that. My brain is forever chattering away with all these thoughts, memories, emotions, fears, and odd ways of thinking.

Anxiety is the biggest problem of mine though. Take that away and I'll likely be a different person.


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Fireblossom
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04 Oct 2022, 10:04 am

Hmm, well for me...

Limited or inappropriate social reactions: I... probably got those? Not as much as I did as a teenager, I've been learning, but I still think I make more mistakes than an average (non-autistic) person would.

Ropotic or repetitive speech: Robotic no, but probably repetitive to some extent.

Difficulty with nonverbal communication: Absolutely, but I'm slowly getting better at this, too.

Tendency to discuss self rather than others: I think this isn't much of a problem with me... or then it's a far bigger problem than I would think 'cause I just don't notice. 8O

Inability to understand social/emotional issues and non-literal phrases: I wouldn't say inability, but maybe I don't understand everything on the level NTs do? Then again, NTs don't tend to be any better at understanding my emotions, so the pots are calling the kettle black here. :roll:

Obsession with specific, often unusual, topics: Totally me! But to my defense: I've gotten rather good at not info dumping about those things on people IRL. Mostly because I use tumblr for it now. :lol:

Has one-sided conversations: I don't think so?

Awkward movements or mannerisms: Yup! I try to control those, but that ain't going all that well.



Caz72
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04 Oct 2022, 10:19 am

i have autism and i have most of these listed

limited or inappropriate social reactions - yes always but im unaware a lot of time or im consciously masking

im not robotic in my speech but my speech is odd like one time i pronounce a word one way then when i next day the same word i could pronounce it a different way like i have every accent

difficulty with non verbal communication i do have difficulty with this

yes i talk about self alot because i dont really care about others except really close relatives

inability to understand social issues and all that - yes i really cant work out other people intentions or emotions

i dont have obsession i dont think but i am quite savant in driving and i prefer buses to people

one sided conversations - usually not always depends what the conversation is about

i dont have many unusual mannerisms but i can appear distant or confused a lot


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Fern
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04 Oct 2022, 10:54 am

Limited or inappropriate social reactions: Sometimes. I feel like people often infer my opposite emotional state, like thinking based on my expressions that I hate the food I'm eating when actually I find it delicious, for instance. I figure I must be making a facial expression or a sound that doesn't align with most people's ways of communicating happiness, but I don't know exactly what. I also struggle with those little words you are supposed to say in the middle of someone else telling their story; the words I'm talking about serve the purpose of letting the story teller know that you are listening and that you are sympathetic. People hate it if I'm silent because they think I'm not listening, but then when I attempt these sounds they often stop mid-story and start taking offense to some small reaction of mine. I want to shout "Ughhh! I'm trying my hardest to do what you want, can you please stop picking on me and get to the point?"

"Robotic" or repetitive speech: Absolutely not the case for me. I am often told that my talking style is overly inflective.

Difficulty with nonverbal communication: Sometimes. I am pretty good at reading body language (not faces, but the rest of it). However, some nuances of speech escape me. I feel like when people say "non-verbal communication" what they really mean is "reading between the lines". For example, as a child I had trouble understanding that "I need to eat my vegetables" was the intended take-home from my mom's lamenting "I wish I had just one child who liked to eat the vegetables I cook". All of the information my mom sent to me was sent verbally but people still call this "non-verbal communication." In my opinion, it's a misnomer.

Tendency to discuss self rather than others: I sometimes get told this, but I feel like the only people who say so like to talk about themselves an awful lot too.

Inability to understand social/emotional issues and non-literal phrases: Often.

Obsession with specific, often unusual, topics: Yes, but I don't see the problem with not being basic.

Has one-sided conversations: I do talk to myself a lot in the car, so in that context yes.

Awkward movements or mannerisms: I think so. It's hard to tell. Sometimes people laugh when I give presentations though, even when I'm not talking. I am going to assume that is due to something like this.



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04 Oct 2022, 11:08 am

Those behaviors were me in a nutshell except for the "robotic or repetitive" speech and LACK of ability to understand emotional or non-literal phrases, not inablity. I was often called out for speaking too loudly. I don't engage in such behaviors as much since now though. Maybe because I'm alone about 99% of the time, and because of all the shame and cringe I feel from those past behaviors.

I used to sometimes jokingly say I'd talk more about other people but they're nearly as interesting as me. :)

But seriously, the list of these "symptoms" makes us sound like we're about as pleasant to have around as a 30 pound mosquito. :?



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04 Oct 2022, 11:18 am

I'm certainly aware of my brain's tendency to have one-sided conversations. It takes me a lot of effort to shut myself up after the first couple of sentences I utter.



himmellaufen
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04 Oct 2022, 6:30 pm

interesting how no one says they have robotic speech. I think robo speech is some kind of stereotype, cause irl no autistic person I knew had it either. what do you people think?



Joe90
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04 Oct 2022, 6:46 pm

himmellaufen wrote:
interesting how no one says they have robotic speech. I think robo speech is some kind of stereotype, cause irl no autistic person I knew had it either. what do you people think?


I met one autistic person who had a monotone voice (which I assume is another word for robotic voice). He'd also repeat himself in the same monotonous voice when he said most things, for example "those soda drinks are good price, yes, they're good price, yes."

I don't have a robotic voice though. In fact I don't like being compared to a robot, because robots actually give me the creeps, like dolls and clowns. I'll never go to Disneyland because of all the animatronics there will probably haunt my dreams...wait, I'm going off-topic here.


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04 Oct 2022, 10:33 pm

Limited or inappropriate social reactions: I'd say moderate. I think I'm more limited than inappropriate. As I catch myself not speaking much to people I don't know well, to avoid saying something inappropriate.

Robotic or repetitive speech: I am a bit monotone when I speak. I'd say on a scale of 1 to Shaun Murphy from the Good Doctor, I am about a 6 on the robotic/monotone scale. My issue is that a lot of the time when NT people would typically fluctuate their voice or change their facial expression, I don't.. but I am excited/happy/surprised etc. I just don't show it in my tone of voice typically, or facial expression much. It's very limited.

Difficulty with nonverbal communication: Very much so, yes.

Tendency to discuss self rather than others: 100% yes, but I am becoming more cognisant of it now. For example, I just got off the phone with my mom and talked the entire time about something I was ruminating on.. I didn't even ask her how her test was today, or if she was feeling better. I feel bad. I didn't notice before therapy.

Inability to understand social/emotional issues and non-literal phrases: Yes, most of the time.

Obsession with specific, often unusual, topics: Birding, Chess, Jim Henson. Not sure these are unusual, but I hyperfocus a lot. I also get attached to certain items. I have a sea shell that I have had for 2 years now that I hold when I am stressed. I would be distraught if I lost it.

Has one-sided conversations: That goes with the above, discuss self rather than others. Yes.

Awkward movements or mannerisms: Yes

I think I passed the test. :lol:



Noamx
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05 Oct 2022, 12:38 am

Hi again guys. Thanks again for sharing what you think about this, I appreciate all your replies. Yeah, its nice to hear your ways of dealing with the symptoms of this syndrome, and I know many ways of how to deal with them myself, but it can be difficult sometimes. However, sometimes the best way to deal with it is simply to avoid social situations. But avoiding social situations shouldnt be done frequently, only sometimes, I think.

About avoiding social situations, I have a question to ask you about that now. Well basically, the question is, can you explain if you avoid social situations frequently, or only sometimes? And if you avoid, how do you avoid? Like, if you wanted to talk to somebody when you are outside, you simply dont go talk to that person, or enter the place? Or you do something different about this.


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05 Oct 2022, 9:32 am

I have all of those except for the robotic voice and the inability to understand emotional issues.


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05 Oct 2022, 10:18 am

Noamx wrote:
Image



I have Autism Spectrum Disorder (Moderate), rather than Aspergers or HFA.
I have Selective Mutism so I don't speak very much in social settings.
I'm different online but I don't think that's considered social.


- limited or inappropriate social reactions:

I'm always very controlled and straight-faced in public.
I hide my emotions to guard myself.
I don't smile or make facial expressions.
I very seldom laugh in public.
Most people think I look angry or annoyed all the time.
All I'm thinking is "I wanna go home".


- robotic speech:

I quite often speak in monosyllables or with one word answers.
I don't use a lot of emotion in my voice.
It's more like a broken robot than a droning one.
The only time I'm prosodic and silly is with my daughter.


- repetitive speech:

Not really, unless it's "I wanna go home" or "I'm thirsty", etc.
I don't speak enough for any of it to be repetitive.


- difficulty with non-verbal communication:

Yes, I have extreme difficulty with non-verbal.
I was diagnosed with non-verbal learning disability.

I'm face blind and can't read people's eyes.
I had the lowest "reading eyes" score my assessor had ever seen.
I guess it doesn't help that I don't look at people's faces or eyes.

I can't learn by visual or by listening (e.g., videos).
I can only learn by reading written instructions.
My spatial awareness (shape puzzles) is really poor too.
Strangely I don't ever get lost and I don't use GPS.


- tendency to discuss self:

Nope.
I don't discuss myself at all with people, socially.
I guard my "self" at all costs.


- inability to understand social cues:

Social cues: I'm really bad at that.
I don't do herd mentality or groupthink at all.
I have no clue what's going on in pop culture or social situations.
I reject most groupthink when it occurs.
I'm pretty bad at nuance too.



- inability to understand emotional cues:

I always notice emotional cues.
I'm like a sponge for emotion / empathy, to my own detriment.
The problem is I don't know how to respond to people's emotions.
I do anonymous charity but I can't express concern verbally.



- non-literal phrases:
I had a hard time when I was younger, but I'm better now.



- obsession with unusual topics:

In social settings? No, I don't discuss any unusual topics socially.
I stick to the basics and guard anything that's special to me.



- one sided conversations:

No, not at all.
I barely speak.
I hate when other people do monologues.


- awkward movements and mannerisms:

All the time.



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05 Oct 2022, 11:07 am

Noamx wrote:
can you explain if you avoid social situations frequently, or only sometimes? And if you avoid, how do you avoid? Like, if you wanted to talk to somebody when you are outside, you simply dont go talk to that person, or enter the place? Or you do something different about this.

I only avoid social situations sometimes. I try to stick to small numbers of people I know and feel safe with. When I'm completely isolated from company for days on end I get very lonely and morbid, though a limited amount of space from people can feel wonderful. I'm also mindful that if I avoid people completely for too long, I might become out of practice.

How do I avoid? I often decline invitations that I think would be risky or painful, though I tend to feel bad about declining because it can come over as a slap in the face to the people who have invited me. I don't go into places that don't look suitable for me. And I hardly ever approach anybody unless I know them and feel safe with them - even with old friends it's often hard for me to proactively suggest we get together. Every instance is different, and I tend to weigh up the risks and benefits for each particular case. Sometimes it's a matter of compromise - I might limit the time I'm there rather than duck out completely.



Caz72
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05 Oct 2022, 6:59 pm

i wouldnt really care if i never socialised again

i enjoy my own company

the only person i dont mind around me is my son

otherwise im quite happy having no friends


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