Would you date a criminal (a person having a record)?
nick007
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Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
So I don't understand why everyone is against me dating him!
I'm not sure 'everyone' is. Personally, I hope things work out between the two of you.
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No, dangerous people can have all sorts of diverse characteristics.
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nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
Loud, aggressive, profane individuals whose education seems to have not gone past the sixth grade are the worst.
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I've had angry outbursts in the past that upset my whole family, but no matter how out of control I got it never occurred to me to hurt anybody, even if there was a knife or something right in front of me. The worst I would do was scream offensive language and slam and kick doors. And I'd hit myself because I hated myself, but I didn't hit anyone else. I don't think I have it in me to be violent like that even though I do get angry.
I literally can't even hurt a fly. And I mean that literally, no bugs ever get killed by me, not even wasps. So harming a human is just put of the question no matter how angry I get. And although it seems others trigger me, I still blame myself for my behaviour so the only person I do hit is me. But not enough to make me bruise or bleed though.
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Female
Exactly, but often here people say it's the quiet people you've got to be afraid of because they're more likely to be sitting there plotting a murder in their heads or something. But all the times I have been around quiet people I've never thought that. There's a quiet guy at work, doesn't often have a lot to say and he just seems shy even though he's been working there a long time now, but I never think "oh God, I don't trust him". We've had a loud, angry person at work before, and I was more wary of her than I was the quiet guy, as she looks like she'd hit someone if they got on the wrong side of her. She got fired in the end, and lately I've heard she's been to court but I don't know why exactly.
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Female
nick007
Veteran
Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,121
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA
I literally can't even hurt a fly. And I mean that literally, no bugs ever get killed by me, not even wasps. So harming a human is just put of the question no matter how angry I get. And although it seems others trigger me, I still blame myself for my behaviour so the only person I do hit is me. But not enough to make me bruise or bleed though.
Cass used to hurt herself some when she got upset but she stopped doing that because she knows it majorly worries me. The most she does now is rant alot & in sever cases yell & stamp her feet & such. She experiences suicidal idealization since she was little but she doesn't want to kill herself cuz partly she knows it will upset her family & me. She's never attempted suicide. It's more like she doesn't want to be alive than actually wanting to die. I have a knife/blade collection which Cass also finds kewl & I've never 1ce worried about her cutting or stabbing herself or me or anything. She's clumsy so she might accidentally nick herself handling em but I feel safe with her cuz I know she majorly hates upsetting me. The only people she ever intentionally hurt are her brother & very occasionally her other brother & that seems to me like she was reacting to them & other environmental factors. She cant stand the idea of hurting animals either. She's very empathetic & sensitive.
I've had some very horrible meltdowns with my mom when I was a kid & teen. I've occasionally thrown things at my wall & took off down the street in an attempt to run away. 1ce when I was 18 I slammed the door so hard running away that the glass panel in it shattered. I've never 1ce hurt anyone physically except when I was in elementary school & retaliating to physical bullying. I've had extremely few really bad meltdowns since I've moved in with Cass 10 & a half years ago. The worst I've ever done during a meltdown with Cass is slam doors & yell & I've only ever done that in our apartment. The issues I've had as a kid, in my teens, & in my 20s seem like reaction to environmental factors. My mom did NOT understand my issues & was extremely frustrated with the situation. Mom took it out on me by criticizing me & sometimes making threats or horrible jokes about sending me to juvi, putting me up for adoption, kicking me out on the street, or getting me arrested but she never actually followed through with anything. School was also very stressful for me but I kept myself together while I was there. When I got home I needed to wind down instead of feeling pressured to do homework & study. I never had meltdowns during school except maybe in elementary. I've also never had meltdowns at work when I was working. One of the reasons I've worked alot when I was allowed to work extra was because it got me out the house & mom wasn't on my case as much since I was working & able to afford to give a little rent money.
The reason I'm not gonna judge someone solely for having a criminal record even if it's something like minor violence is because I get how people can act out very poorly due to hostile situations. I need to consider the exact circumstances & why things could be different now. Does the person have a bit of self-awareness to understand why they acted/reacted the way they've did & what have they done to work on themselves & improve their situation. In my case I've realized that my anxiety & OCD were factors & I've found a combo of psych meds that help reduce those triggers. Dealing with my triggers some & having a better home-life situation majorly helps me. It probably also helps that I'm older now.
_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
"Hear all, trust nothing"
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition
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