old/new user, need moral support

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Hi friends, I was active on WrongPlanet when I was first diagnosed (maybe 10 years ago?) but after a year or two, I moved on (side thought: I find it strange that when signing up again I have to specify "aspergers - diagnosed" or etc when I think it's the predominant thought among those on the spectrum currently that "aspergers" isn't how anyone would like to be identified anymore? I certainly don't identify with that label or the stereotypes or negative ideas associated with it or with Hans Asperger, and so have identified myself as "other ASD" - even just from a diagnostic or behavioral perspective, I am more sensory oriented and don't "ramble" about my interests, I am like 70% sensory/cognitive experience and 30% communicating (badly) with the world. Lately (last few months or so?) I am trying very hard to "unmask" because of repeated burnout / exhaustion that I think stems from masking. I don't know what to expect here after so much time away, how active people are on this forum currently or anything. Please someone tell me if there's something I need to know.

Anyway.
I'm back because lately I just feel like I'm drowning trying to understand other people socially, and it's really upsetting me. I mainly don't do a lot of socializing outside of social media, but even on social media with time to think & type and the comfort of relative anonymity, it's just really overwhelming me and I feel like I need to talk to "my people"

I'm actually very tired and don't really remember how to use this site, either, so bear with me if I miss a comment or something. thanks all, just looking for some reassurance that dying of exhaustion from being on the spectrum & trying to understand people is normal. no matter how many times I feel I've hit rock bottom about it, I always think it's my fault.

Also I can't figure out how to get the avatar pic I've uploaded to show. I'm not a luddite, just tired.

I haven't been able to figure out how to get my avatar to show either, old and not technical, that's my excuse.

Glad you are back and reaching out. You are not alone!

Depression and anxiety can sneak up on us, hope you are looking into new ways to "do life".
Lots of self accommodations can help.
Stick around and ask questions, there are loads of great insights from wise and experienced others here.

You're certainly not a "nothing!"

Welcome back!

I came here in 2014; you probably left around the time I started here.

This is the place. You can be you here.
Masking is so terribly exhausting indeed.
I’ve tossed it aside as much as I can and it’s has enabled me to find a lot of peace within myself and my life.

Unfortunately just being me is not useful for finding friends - just peace.

These days I rarely bend to social pressure to fit into external expectations.
Just doing my thing my way is all I have the energy to do. The upside is this path gives me a lot more energy to live life than the way I used to try to live.

Had a bad dream last night where I was deep in a social situation that I used to force myself to endure and was so glad it wasn’t real and I could wake up and vow to never be there again.

Welcome back to Wrong Planet!

Being on the spectrum is part of your human essence!