Disclosure/ Good or Bad for Son and Daughter.

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 1 Sep 2021
Gender: Male
Posts: 5
Location: St. Louis Missouri

15 Oct 2022, 5:14 am

I am new. I have an issue with myself now knowing that I have AS. I now after decades of wondering finally know why I act and do the things I do and not say the things I say. Anyway. My Son recently was married and is expecting Twin boys. My family 3 brother and 2 sisters, do have signs of AS but will never admit it. I did not bring up that I have AS to them. I also did not tell my ex-wife or my kids. I was married surprisingly for 25 years. That is unusual I read for an Aspie. I also worked most of the time, but jobs lower than I would like. Also I have been divorced for 12 years. The question is. Do I tell my mostly estranged family members anything about what I believe they share with me? Also do I tell my Son and Daughter and Daughter in Law? The soon to be twin grandsons have a very good chance of having AS. I am wondering if I should tell and if it is a good thing, or a bad thing? I need your help folks. this is difficult to say the least and I am normally a very good decision maker ( most AS are) but this may be a disaster or a godsend. I hope the latter. :roll:

Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

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Joined: 1 Jun 2017
Age: 38
Gender: Female
Posts: 16,178
Location: Poland

15 Oct 2022, 5:42 am

If I understand correctly, your children are adult and independent now?
I would start with sharing with them what you now understand about yourself. And get feedback from them, what they think and feel about it. You may hear a lot about their perspective of having been raised by an autistic parent without knowing it.
Depending on their reaction to your autism, you can share or not what you think about their autistic traits.
I'd take it slowly. Such informations take time to get processed.

Let's not confuse being normal with being mentally healthy.

<not moderating PPR stuff concerning East Europe>


Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

15 Oct 2022, 10:03 am

It depends on their views on autism.

Autism is a very random thing. A kid can turn out autistic with two NT parents; and a kid could turn out NT with two autistic parents.

None of my family, over the course of at least four generations, turned out autistic—except me.

I don’t feel you are OBLIGATED to tell your family about your autism.