Hi! New here, dad of three. I just found out I'm autistic

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Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 14 Oct 2022
Age: 45
Gender: Male
Posts: 2
Location: Geneva, CH

17 Oct 2022, 3:02 am

Hello everyone,

I'm new and I was recently diagnosed with autism without intellectual deficit (although my working memory is absolutely unreliable by any standard) and combined ADHD. I'm 44 and I managed to have a successful career until my last burnout; I couldn't take it anymore. My second daughter is also autistic (older daughter likely too) and it made me think about myself. Oh boy, this is such a life changer.

Thanks to the diagnostic I no longer feel like a complete stranger disassociated from the world around me. The worst? Well, everyone around me, doctors included, confused giftedness with Aspergers. I did an IQ test many years ago in the 1990s and my mind tells me that I did score very superior, but I do not remember. My last testing had low working/average perceptual indexes, and strangely very high verbal and high processing speed (I've read it is quite common for Aspergers). Age and drugs could be a factor, but who cares about IQs other than to help diagnose a condition. I find this internet fascination with high IQs or IQs in general to be quite disrespectful even if unintentional.

I started explaining my new reality in the Office but I quickly realized it was a mistake. I requested special working arrangements, and that shouldn't be a problem, but I am very worried about harmful stereotypes with colleagues and managers at work.

Anyways, thanks for reading.


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Joined: 23 Feb 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,615
Location: Alpena MI

17 Oct 2022, 5:47 am

welcome! Diagnosis comes as a relief, a surprise, a completely different way of seeing your past and present. Its a lot to sort! Take your time and do loads of self care as you go through it. Lots of insights and emotions to settle. You are definitely not alone! Glad you are with us.


"Curiosity is one of the permanent and certain characteristics of a vigorous intellect.” Samuel Johnson

jimmy m

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Joined: 30 Jun 2018
Age: 75
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Posts: 8,164
Location: Indiana

17 Oct 2022, 8:58 am

Welcome to Wrong Planet. Aspies (Asperger's Syndrome) are just a little different than most people. We have a different way of thinking. Most people have +s and -s. But Aspies have ++s and --s. And some of us are off the charts with +++++s and -----s.

The key is to use your +s to overcome your -s.

Author of Practical Preparations for a Coronavirus Pandemic.
A very unique plan. As Dr. Paul Thompson wrote, "This is the very best paper on the virus I have ever seen."

Double Retired

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Joined: 31 Jul 2020
Age: 69
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Posts: 4,735
Location: U.S.A.         (Mid-Atlantic)

17 Oct 2022, 4:37 pm

Welcome to WP! I hope you like it here. (And maybe your daughters will swing by, too?)

As far as memory...

When I was reading about Autism before my diagnosis I got the impression that a good memory was standard equipment...and I have a terrible memory. I suspected I hadn't gotten the full package. After I was diagnosed I raised that issue with the psychologist. She grinned at me and said that typically an Autistic would have a good memory for things that interest them! OK. That describes me very well. In general, my memory is horrible...but I'm much better in my "special interests".

Now if I want to warn someone about my memory I explain "I have a terrible memory, except for things that interest me. And I don't get to choose what interests me."

When diagnosed I bought champagne!
I finally knew why people were strange.


Joined: 23 Nov 2006
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 68,922
Location: Portland, Oregon

17 Oct 2022, 7:00 pm

Welcome to Wrong Planet! :D

Silly NTs, I have Aspergers, and having Aspergers is gr-r-reat!


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Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 110,329
Location: In a quiet and peaceful garden where Mick Avory-like Sweet Peas grow.

24 Oct 2022, 5:15 pm

Willkommen :mrgreen:

Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?