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Jamesy
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17 Oct 2022, 8:06 am

Sadly my grandmother passed away from breast cancer age 67 back in 1997.

I remember one morning she made breakfast for me and I did not like the taste of it so I threw it of her dinning room table. I then ran up the stairs and shouted at her and she then said to me "If you carry on I will wack you with my stick"

Do you think I was having an autistic meltdown?



kraftiekortie
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17 Oct 2022, 8:08 am

I would call that a "spoiled child tantrum."



CockneyRebel
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17 Oct 2022, 8:24 am

You sure dwell on the past a lot. I think you were being a jerk.


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Jamesy
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17 Oct 2022, 8:40 am

CockneyRebel wrote:
You sure dwell on the past a lot. I think you were being a jerk.



A 7 year old does not know how to be a jerk



kraftiekortie
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17 Oct 2022, 8:45 am

Oh yes they do!

In fact, a 7-year-old is considered responsible for his/her own actions, and can be arrested. It is extremely rare for a 7-year-old to be arrested for anything....but they are seen as being mature enough to be responsible for their actions.

If I would have done that, I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.....



IsabellaLinton
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17 Oct 2022, 12:05 pm

Meltdowns usually have a long buildup of sensory overload or stress.
This sounds more like a bratty temper tantrum.
Tantrums can be resolved if the person gets their way.
Meltdowns can't.

I beat up my mother once at a hotel.
It's because we had to share a bed.
I couldn't tolerate the sensory overwhelm of her sounds and movement.
I woke up (kind of in sleep terror) and went nuts.

Mine was a meltdown but still, I was rightly punished by my dad.



kraftiekortie
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17 Oct 2022, 2:42 pm

I don't feel you should "feel guilty" about this, by the way.

You were just a brat child at that moment, worthy of a little discipline. I'm sure your grandmother didn't use this against you in her subsequent life.



ToughDiamond
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18 Oct 2022, 1:05 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Oh yes they do!

In fact, a 7-year-old is considered responsible for his/her own actions, and can be arrested. It is extremely rare for a 7-year-old to be arrested for anything....but they are seen as being mature enough to be responsible for their actions.

If I would have done that, I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.....

You're both right and wrong about the age of criminal responsibility. At the state level in the USA, it's 7 years in most states but 6 years in South Carolina, and at the federal level it's 11 years. In the UK it's 10 years.

But that's just what the law says, and it could be that the law is unjust - clearly inconsistent from legislature to legislature, so they can't all be correct. I was hoping to do better than our lawmakers, but although I think I understand the matter well, I can't explain it clearly and succinctly yet.



kraftiekortie
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18 Oct 2022, 5:48 am

Please note that I’m definitely not advocating arresting little children for being naughty—to say the least.



ToughDiamond
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18 Oct 2022, 11:21 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Please note that I’m definitely not advocating arresting little children for being naughty—to say the least.

I believe you. Anybody construing that you're advocating that isn't thinking straight.



jimmy m
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18 Oct 2022, 8:51 pm

Knowing the difference between a typical temper tantrum in a young child and a meltdown in a person with autism helps to further understand what a meltdown is.

Children have temper tantrums with intention and purpose, such as control over people or situations, or as a call for attention. A child having a temper tantrum does have control over themselves, even if the tantrum results in attacking people, loud screaming, or breaking things.

A person having a meltdown typically screams, attacks people, hurts themselves and breaks things, which may look like a temper tantrum, but there is no underlying intention or plan involved.


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19 Oct 2022, 1:26 pm

Nah not a meltdown. Being a little brat however yes.

My grandmothers cooking skills are utter crap but I never chased her around the house for it as a young child.

Nothing made me more fearful than burnt fish fingers.



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19 Oct 2022, 2:59 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:


I beat up my mother once at a hotel.
.

Sorry to hijack the thread but this made me laugh, anyone else or just me?
I actually want to know



Mountain Goat
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19 Oct 2022, 3:40 pm

Jamesy. From a child onwards we do learn and go through things and it is normal so don't think badly of yourself.

Meltdowns can look like a temper tantrum and there are occsions where the two can blur as some causes of anger and causes of meltdowns can have similar triggers on odd occasions, but they are different in the way it happens as a temper comes on by a situation that causes anger. A meltdown is when there is a build up of stress so the person can no longer cope, or by sudden unexpected decision changes.

Examples involving decicion change.

Child knows the evening is planned where he (Or she) is going to play at home, so child is excited as child has a plan to play Lego or with trains or cars etc. Then parents say "We are going to the fair tonight" and though child really loves the fair, child can't cope with the sudden decision change and it triggers a meltdown or a shutdown etc.

Now lets have a similar example but where anger is displayed.
Child knows the evening is planned where he (Or she) is going to play at home, so child is excited as child has a plan to play Lego or trains or cars etc. Then parents say "We are going shopping tonight" which "Could" in itself provokea meltdown or shutdown, BUT instead turns to anger because child simply hates shopping and the anger side can come out instead... (Not the best example but...)

Looking back at my own life I have had meltdowns but they were rare. They are horrible things which when traced took most of the day to develop and came out at night and they felt like my head was going to explode and I am going to die when they reach their ultimate point, and then just when I say to myself "Well this is it" (Expecting something in my brain to break and that I will die), suddenly it stops and the instant it stops the immense internal pressure goes and I feel like I am lying down in a boat in calm still waters and am completely relaxed but tired and I immediately fall asleep.

Partial shutdowns I have fairly regularly and used to get full shutdowns often, but since I have come on this site and learned about the triggers, I can avoid many if not most of the full shutdowns by avoiding what I now know triggers me, but there is no guarantees as sometimes unexpected situations or situations where I have had to push myself into trigger zones due to having no choice... (E.g. if I have to go to a hospital as the enviroment has a fair few shutdown triggers all in the same building,the chief of which are hospital smells along with the heat and then the claustrophobic corridors and then the lights (Lights in themselves are not a trigger to me, but if I am already half shut down, then those long strip lights add to it if that makes sense?)).

Anger is something that most children have in their early years but they normally grow out of it but a few adults never have. (No dissrespect though as we all have little things about us).
Meltdowns can come out looking like anger as when the mind can't cope, extreme frustrations and all sorts of emotions hit all at once and can come out in many ways and anger is one but crying is another....
But while anger can well be a meltdown symptom, meltdowns normally come after a very tough stressful day, while anger without it being a meltdown can be someone has heard something they did not like and simply reacted in anger about it. They are different. Sound similar but are different.

When anger comes out due to a meltdown, it is the mind not coping.
When anger comes out of being annoyed, it is the mind not liking.
That is the difference that I am trying to say.



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19 Oct 2022, 4:24 pm

klanka wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:

I beat up my mother once at a hotel.

Sorry to hijack the thread but this made me laugh, anyone else or just me?
I actually want to know

My reaction was a mixture of mirth, mild shock, and envy.



IsabellaLinton
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19 Oct 2022, 4:48 pm

ToughDiamond wrote:
klanka wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:

I beat up my mother once at a hotel.

Sorry to hijack the thread but this made me laugh, anyone else or just me?
I actually want to know

My reaction was a mixture of mirth, mild shock, and envy.


I've told the story many times on here.
I was about 7, an age when other traumatic things were happening.

I wrote about it in my school journal and drew a picture.
My teacher freaked out, so I said it had been a dream.

All sorts of psych services got involved at my school.
It's even mentioned in my school report for the term.

I had the journal for years but it vanished from my current house.

I've since been diagnosed with multiple sleep / sensory disorders.
My mum said she doesn't remember anything about it.
She used to remember it.
My brother confirms I was always hell to travel with.

Whoops.