Is Online Dating A Good Option? Well It Depends...

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How Was Your Experience With Online Dating?
Iv'e never used online dating. 18%  18%  [ 3 ]
I'm a straight man and it worked great, I got many dates including hookups and/or girlfriends. 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
I'm a straight man and it worked ok. I occasionally got some matches and dates. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a straight man and I barely got any matches or dates when using online dating. 41%  41%  [ 7 ]
I'm a gay man and it worked great, I got many dates including hookups and/or boyfriends. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a gay man and it worked ok. I occasionally got some matches and dates. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a gay man and I barely got any matches or dates when using online dating. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a straight woman and it worked great, I got many dates including hookups and/or boyfriends. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a straight woman and it worked ok. I occasionally got some matches and dates. 12%  12%  [ 2 ]
I'm a straight woman and I barely got any matches or dates on online dating. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a lesbian and it worked great. I got many dates including hookups and/or girlfriends. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a lesbian and it worked ok. I got the occasional match and date from using it. 0%  0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a lesbian and I barely got any matches or dates. 6%  6%  [ 1 ]
Just show me the results. 18%  18%  [ 3 ]
Total votes : 17

Muse933277
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19 Oct 2022, 6:08 pm

Unless you've been living under a rock, the topic of online dating has probably come up at least a few times in your lifetime and with good reason. It's one of the most popular ways to meet someone in this day and age, and is used by many people today. But is online dating a good option to find someone to date? Well that answer isn't entirely black and white, and it largely depends on several factors, which I'll cover down below.

Your experience with online dating will largely depend on your age, gender, sexual orientation, race, and level of attractiveness. It's the reason why you'll hear mixed reviews about online dating in general. On one side, you'll have certain people who will say that online dating is great, because they went on many dates and some of these dates turned into hookups or long term relationships, and on the opposite side, you'll also hear other people talk about how they couldn't even get a match and that online dating is a waste of time. Different people have different experiences.

Generally speaking though, attractive straight women will benefit the most from online dating as they are statistically speaking, the most likely to receive the largest number of matches on online dating. More matches means more options, which means more opportunities to find someone to date or hookup with if that is what they desire. Also women in general (regardless of their own attractiveness) will also receive more matches compared to men, which makes online dating a better option for women than it does for men (on average).

As for guys, again, their experience will largely vary depending on their age, level of attractiveness, and how picky they are. However generally speaking, straight men on average tend to receive fewer matches and fewer dating opportunities compared to straight women of equal attractiveness. For many men with average looks and below, online dating consists of getting few matches, little to no dates, and lower confidence and poorer self esteem as a result.

So in a nutshell, online dating works best for young attractive people, particularly young attractive women. It occasionally works for average people (more so for average women rather than for average guys) and doesn't work well for men with below average looks.



AutomatedStar
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19 Oct 2022, 6:35 pm

Online dating really isn't different from real life. It really is real life dating now lol
I've known extremely attractive men who have women hitting on them irl. One of them told me getting a girlfriend from the apps is as easy ordering pizza for him one time.
Point I'm trying to make is, the guys who women are attracted to on their phones are the ones they are attracted to irl so it's better to just stick to online dating as a male on the spectrum especially.
And yeah, for a lot of us, it truly is like a lottery but once you become numb to the whole "getting 0 matches" screen, you can try again and again. As long as we have our thumbs, there's hope, boys! :lol:



nick007
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24 Oct 2022, 8:17 pm

I have various mental & physical disabilities besides autism that majorly limit me with life functioning & independence & my personality within a relationship is kinda the opposite of the stereotypical Aspie guy(eg I really love being affectionate & spending a lot of time with my romantic partner) so I'm probably not the best example for this thread so I voted for "Just show me the results". That said :arrow:

I met the 3 girlfriends I had online but I met them on forums & not dating sites & I'm also not sure if that counts as online dating for this poll. All 3 relationships were mostly long-distance till I moved in with my current gf. I met my 1st on a forum related to a common interest & we had things in common & really connected. She was the best friend I ever had at that point in my life. I met my 2nd & then my current on this forum by making LOTS & LOTS of posts ad-nauseam about being lonely & desperate. I tried LOTS of dating sites & never got a date. Some of the dating sites also had forums which I posted in a LOT. I did know a woman on a dating & friendship asexual forum who woulda been interested if I woulda been able to have her move in with me. She was kinda couch-surfing & we might of been a good match :shrug: I didn't have my own place, thou it was sorta in the works but dragging on & I'm sure my parents would not of allowed anyone to move in with me there(my mom was EXTREMELY frustrated by me still living with her till I was 30 cuz I had no other options short of homelessness). I knew another women on a non-dating forum who also woulda been interested in moving in with me if that woulda been an option.

I tried various ways to meet women offline like asking my cousins & work colleges if they could set me up with someone. I tried asking out women I worked with. I also joined an offline support group for people with depression, anxiety, &/or bipolar disorder but there was only one girl around my age there & she was in a relationship & no one there set me up with anyone.

I lived in kinda a rural area & cant drive(vision is too bad) & there was no public transportation & both my parents worked so that kinda limited me with going out. Plus I lived in the deep south where the main things people did together offline besides work was church, bars/clubs, going to sports games, & outdoors stuff(eg camping, fishing, hunting). I'm a Secular Humanist, I was straight-edge, I hated sports, & I'm not into outdoor things. Plus I'm very progressive(for lack of a better word) & most people in that area are hard-core conservatives. So it should be no surprise that I had NO luck getting so much as a date offline. I f#cking hated living there except I miss the seafood & my parents. So I was VERY willing to relocate for a relationship when I had the opportunity to.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Oct 2022, 8:49 pm

I did meet one girlfriend through newspaper “want ads” back in the 80s.

I don’t sense that I would do well with online dating.



nick007
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24 Oct 2022, 9:13 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I did meet one girlfriend through newspaper “want ads” back in the 80s.

I don’t sense that I would do well with online dating.
Your a wise & very respectable guy so you might do OK meeting women on forums or dating sites that are much more focused on what you type than 1s focused on your pic, employment/income, & laundry list criteria.


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kraftiekortie
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24 Oct 2022, 9:22 pm

You’re actually a pretty smart guy, and I do admire your perseverance despite your disabilities.

Yep….people do sometimes forget there are forums like WP which can, conceivably, be a way to find a partner. Your experience is a prime example of this.



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25 Oct 2022, 12:20 pm

Average looking men can get matches if they have good photos. (Note by good photos, I don't mean photos that make you look better than you are. I mean photos that portray you accurately)

95% of men have photos that actually make them look worse than they are in real life.
Poor quality/resolution.
Imbalanced lighting
Overexposure or not enough lighting.
Unflattering angles.
Just pics of them in their home.
Too close up or too far away
Or it's hard to see them because they're wearing sunglasses/hats
And they don't express personality in their photos. Their facial expressions are stiff, dull or forced.

Lots of decent looking men have poor photos that under-sell themselves, so just by being average looking and having good photos, you're already in the top quartile.



Lost_dragon
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25 Oct 2022, 2:12 pm

One issue I have with the poll is that it categorises 'lots of matches' with 'lots of dates' and the two don't correlate in my case.

It's also worth noting that match does not necessarily mean interest. For instance, 'matching' with a woman but it turns out that she's straight and actually just wants someone to talk to about her boyfriend. Or she just wants subscribers for a gaming stream and so on.

Or a free therapy session, which, please no, I'm not qualified. A lot of the same issues with IRL spaces apply to online ones, such as quite a few profiles saying things like "Yeah I'm a straight guy, but you should give me a chance!" sir I am not your demographic. "Why am I having such a tough time on here?" because you've listed yourself as a woman seeking a woman and then written "I am a straight man" in your bio, what did you think was gonna happen? :lol:

Likes aren't a great indicator of success either when you get a fair few from such individuals.


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Muse933277
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25 Oct 2022, 7:19 pm

If you do decide to sign up for online dating, be warned that it can be very competitive and cut-throat for guys.

As a man, you can expect a match rate of less than 10% (Unless you're swiping in SE Asia)

Prepare to be ghosted and left on read A LOT. Don't take it personal, she's likely talking to at least a dozen other guys.

Flaking is very very common too. My buddy could get dates off of Tinder and at least 1/3rd of the time, the girls would cancel last minute or sometimes, not even show up without any warning.


You need to be somewhat thick skinned. If you can't handle rejection, then I wouldn't recommend signing up.



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25 Oct 2022, 7:42 pm

If one is obsessed with wanting a lover in life, then IMO, just try it.

Otherwise IMO, online "dating" is just a waste of time.


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FleaOfTheChill
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25 Oct 2022, 9:09 pm

I'm not an attractive young person. I tried online dating twice, though not for actual relationships. I was after a fwb type situation. I'm not after monogamy or commitment, but I'm not a fan of one night stands. I prefer repeat casual encounters with the same people. I made that clear in my profile.

Anyway, I have no idea how to answer your poll. Aside from being non binary, I'm (for the sake of simplicity) bi. But the first time I tried it, I got a bunch of messages, found one person I figured I'd be compatible enough with, we met after talking a bit, hooked up, had a good time, and that lasted for a little while. The next time, same thing, got messages, found someone I felt I was clicking with in the right things, and we ended up getting together and hanging out for...oh I dunno... several months before that ended. Despite having success with it, I doubt I'll do it again. I wanted to try it. I did. I'm over it. I think I'd rather meet someone in person or in some other 'more organic feeling' kind of way and not go 'browsing people' on a screen...and that's how it felt to me...like window shopping for humans. I never did get comfortable with that and I can't be bothered to try again. I'm good with the cool experiences I had and the two people i got to meet and engage on those levels.



Kitty4670
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25 Oct 2022, 11:47 pm

I’m on dating site, I’m talking to some men, there is one guy I really like.


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13 Nov 2022, 9:39 am

Lost_dragon wrote:
It's also worth noting that match does not necessarily mean interest.


Case in point: I matched with someone not long ago, the conversation was going well so I asked what she was looking for on the app. Turns out she has a girlfriend that she's been dating for four years and they are planning to get married. I mean, I'm a bit disappointed by this news, surprised she didn't mention this sooner, but good for them I suppose. Personally I'd rather people mention such information in their bios.


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