Burnt out teacher

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This is my first full time job and I’ve been pushing/ dragging myself to the end and I have 8 weeks left to go. I started getting suicidal ideation while driving to work at the end of the first time and now I can barely look after myself. I’ve tried talking to psychologists, gps, the union, crisis lines and bosses at work and I just keep getting told to
keep pushing. I appear more functioning than I am and I’ve never felt more frustrated. I think it’s triggering some trauma from school of my cries for help were ignorred. Has anyone experienced this

I've never had a full-time job, so I don't have any advice. I hope you find a way through this, though.

Hi Laura,

Sorry to hear about the feelings of burnout. I had one with similar ideations spanning through most of 2018. Perhaps the lockdowns and self-time that came with the pandemic played a role in reaching a better place in my case.

Anyhow, I wish you well and am responding in solidarity. It's very rare I'm visiting this site and unusual for me to reply. By coincidence I was listening to a talk about Autistic Burnout and was in the process of remembering my own when I came across your post.

I hadn't heard of Autistic Burnout and am hoping it contains something helpful for both of us. The talk I am listening to:

At the very least it sounds like what you are describing is very much a thing. You are not alone in experiencing it.

Take care.

Hi. Sorry to hear that. I can totally relate, I’ve had a number of break downs over the year. Struggles with work anxiety pretty much every day, panic attacks. It all seems crazy to talk about it now - but it did get better. For me i had to get to rock bottom before I could figure out a way forward. Hence I didn’t kill my self but had a couple of lean years working part time jobs and trying to take the stress off myself.

Ultimately I was pretty broke and so this is not an ideal solution long term. However I now have a new job related to my industry. I was an architect but now I work in a building related field.

The work is less stress ful because it’s easier. I don’t have to be on it all the time, I can pretty much manage my workload and have no boss micro managing me. This is heaven.

Because I am not doing something I am passionate about, I have a greater sense of perspective. I am no longer relating my job to my sense of worth. The crippling anxiety I felt was like a self fulfilling prophecy. The more I stressed about work, the more mistakes I made, the worse I felt about myself, the less self esteem I had.

This is just my story. I have friends who are teachers who are on the spectrum and they have a roller coaster ride of anxiety, workload, exhaustion and general chaos. Yet they still seem to get through it - or maybe they refuse to ride up, given that they have worked so hard to find their niche.

If you do leave teaching you will find another niche, you will find something of value, another calling. You can still make a difference. You probably have a lot of transferable skills.

I hope this might help you feel some sense of relief. You can have control of this. You just might have to change the expectations of yourself. I used to beat myself up as I could not fit well in the neuro typical world: it’s taken a lot of work but I now finally accept my limitations and praise myself for the food that I can do - it’s just in another capacity. Maybe see this as an opportunity?

Any specific things going wrong or is it simply too much work and not enough time to do it? Are you being given impossible tasks such as keeping control over a bunch of unruly kids, without any proper training?

I never had any suicidal ideation in my science job, but the management's unreasonable expectations used to give me a ton of stress, and neither the union, the management, or my GP were any help at all. The only thing that saved me was my ASD diagnosis, and even that wasn't enough. I got out as soon as I could afford to.

No,no, no, no, no! Do not keep pushing as I did that in a different job and ended up in a mess and it takes ages to recover! Last time I worked I finished in very early september 2019 and I don't feel right yet. In the past I was able to tackle jobs that looking back I do not know how I did, but I hit these issues because I kept pushing myself when my mind and body was telling me to quit, and I have been in that situation a few times before.
I hit my first big burnout around july to september 2007 while I was working on the railways and I became suicidal as I reasoned to myself it was a way off the situation. Almost did a stupid thing. Cashed up my takings and was about to walk out the back of a train that I was working which was doing well over 70mph. Was just a passenger knocking on the cab door that made me close the outer vestible door and see to the drunk kids in the first coach... They behaved when they saw me, but then had drunk pensioners dancing on the tables in the back coach so had to tell them to act their age, and by the time I got back to the back cab I saw sense and knew it was time to hand in my notice as I could not continue... I was burnt out and sleeping patterns all over the place.

Anynprofession that tells you to keep pushing when like that clearly does not know anything about the fragile nature of mental burnout and does not realize how close one is to completely breaking down.

You need a long break. A holiday!

I found next job I hit burnout in (Went back to repairing bicycles) I hit again and again. Had year break with no income... Job only just paid slightly more then travelling and food expenses... But I kept going back and pushing myself until I crashed in cycles of Push, crash, quit, recover, go back working again, push, crash, quit, recover... Did this a fair few times and was like waves getting worse and worse until eventually I could never go back... As mentally the mind associated the bicycle mechanic enviroment with mental crash so is like mind says a big "NO"... Because I kept pushing!

If one has savings or anything big to sell sell it to use funds to take a long break. I sold my house which gave me a years worth to recover. I did once inherit to tie me over one years recovery. Sold many things like camper, classic car. All to de-stress as owning them and worrying they will deteriate when I was not up to keeping them in good condition. Actually sold them at bargain prices to rid myself of responsibility of owning them. Sold house for half its value as could not mentally cope with holding my ground for a decent price. Needed to get rid of stress.

Mental health is more important then things! Not saying one should go to the extremes that I did. But protect your mind. Give yourself a rest.

You wrote the warning signs... Signs I ignored because I pushed. Signs that had I listened to my mind screaming at me and my body fatigue through all those shutdowns and lack of sleep... Signs I ignored... Had I listened I would not have been "Fragile". I would still be mentally strong!


In the past I preserved my mental health by my 2 year cycles. Work for 2 years and then quit. Half a year break. Find a job. Work another 2 years and quit... It stopped me burning out. (Yes, I hated learning the new job routines which took me about half a year to a year to learn as I needed to learn my routines to cope and learn th jobs routines and merge them... Takes time... BUT to keep work short preserved me and stopped me mentally crashing. But after first burnout on the railways where due to ever changing shift patterns I found 5 years I hit that 2 year feeling.... But I did just under 9 years. Should have left earlier?
Mentally that was the first time I burned out... Mind was "Bouncing back and fore as I pushed too much!" From then on I could not work full time at all and even part time it ended up a few months on very low hour weekly shifte was too much. I burnt out on last temp job on just 16 hours a week which was 3 or 4 days of reasonably easy shifts with a day off between each working day. Burnt out doing a job I know insideout as was one of my special interests ans on and off had done it for years... From the age of 17 to my late 40's.

Protect your precious mind. Take a rest.

Maybe some kind of significant change would help?

If the job can't change (money is useful) is there anything you can change at not-work? Watch some movies that you would probably never have watched. Go to a strange restaurant, or two, or more. Pick a random book at the library and go through it, maybe even read it. Go sit in a park and watch the birds. Etc.

There is no guarantee that would work.

Sweet Pea hugs

Teaching can be tough when you first start out. There is a lot more work and stress than most people realize. It usually takes a few years to find your grove. Do you have a mentor? Does your district have a facilitator for new teachers? Is it possible for you to find a part time position, or sub? Even just switching districts can make a big difference.

I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time teaching. Teaching can be very stressful. What advice can I give you?

I believe the first year will be the roughest. After that things will become more of a routine. It is important to know how to deal with stress. Stress builds up in the human body until it reaches a breaking point. It just keeps growing and growing and growing and then even the smallest little thing can put you over the edge and produce a meltdown. But there is one way to eliminate stress and that is a certain type of exercise. Not just any form of exercise, but rather very strenuous exercise.

One form of this exercise is running the fifty yard dash as fast as your body will let you. Do this about 10 times in a row and it will pull the stress right out of your body. It will give you the ability to flush your stress away.

What level of kids are you teaching?

Elementary? High school?