Will intelligence help you succeed?

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If your an intelligent man on the spectrum will that help you succeed in the dating world or is that a useless quality in that respect?

It's useful. One factor among many. But it's not the only factor.

Just because 1 quality in and of itself doesn't immediately give you the end result you're looking for, doesn't mean it's useless.

And just because it doesn't work out with someone doesn't mean you should automatically blame it on them just not liking intelligent people.

View your intelligence not as something to attract another person, but as a tool you can use to give yourself better outcomes. Use that intelligence to be self-aware, exercise good judgment, etc.

What do you think? No?

It's not necessarily a huge factor. There may be some prospective dating partners who prefer intelligence, but even then it can be subject to diminishing returns. Raw measurably IQ is not generally attractive as the ability to apply it in the real world; if you can use it to boost your career or solve day-to-day problems quickly or in innovative ways, that's a plus. Being able to calculate/solve extremely difficult mathematical problems in your head but not being able to tie your shoes is not so helpful.

Generally, it's broad intelligence more than focused intelligence which tends to improve social factors and relationships. You might be able to design a nuclear power plant, but can you buoy someone's emotions, solve relationship issues, predict what they'd like for a birthday present, and make people think that you're a great person to hang out with, as well as being able to do your own taxes, invest successfully, help kids with homework, repair things around the house, and cook a lot of different meals well?

Intelligence, assuming you use it wisely, can be used to secure a higher paying job, which in turn can help you attract women. So I would say that yes, intelligence can indirectly help you succeed with women.

Extremely reductionist. Also, there are plenty of women who date and have sex with working-class and lower class guys.

Also, if you getting a high paying job is the deciding factor why a particular woman is attracted you, why would you even want that person?

This is the problem with the type of dating advice you and Jamesy seem to read. A lot of it seems to rely on external validation and men measuring their worth by how much attention from women they get - rather than by genuine connection.

Instead people should ask what they could be doing to meet people who have actual romantic/sexual chemistry with them and are genuinely interested in them for who they are.

You can be intelligent and do a working class job, its less likely but can happen.

That says I tend to favour people I can have a conversation with otherwise what is the point. It is also one of many factors, such as food, if they have any mental health issues, what is their sleeping pattern like, what interests do they have. It's a big list. So its not a requirement to date. I mean I reproduced with my ex and he was a good (nice) man but his lack of intelligence and lack of similar interests ultimately was the end of our relationship. We're still good friends to this day though.

I told my kids to look for big hearts instead of big brains.

I know this was not directed at me but I'll answer anyway If the woman treated me OK, I would be interested in her because I HATE being alone & I want to take care of & help my romantic partners however I can. My perspective is probably due to me being disabled & LOTS of women thinking I'm not independent & functional enough for a romantic relationship. If I had suddenly came into a lot of money(like my parents won the lottery) I woulda sought out a woman who was going though a very hard time due to something like poverty & homelessness because she might be very grateful & appreciative on me helping her out. A rich guy marrying a woman who's completely broke works out in the movies like Pretty Woman & the Disney fairy-tails if the guys treats her well

It depends on whether you utilise intelligence and apply it to dating. If you don't, it won't matter much.

It's more about compatibility. If you're going to successfully date someone you need to have compatible levels of intelligence otherwise communicating is going to be hard work.

And intelligence in humans is a bell curve. So the more intelligent you are the fewer people you will find with a compatible intelligence level. Same at the less intelligent end of the curve.

Somewhere in the middle gives you the best chance of meeting someone you can groove with intellectually.

I find "intelligence" somewhat nebulous and overrated as a concept.

Given that this is a community for neurodivergence, it is probably pretty obvious to everyone here that simply being smart doesn't necessarily translate into actually being able to utilize this intelligence. Someone could have a tremendous ability in one area, yet also struggle to apply it because of social difficulties, overstimulation, etc.

I've also never found intelligence to be convincing as a metric. Most who've met me say I'm reasonably intelligent. Yet the amount that I know is dwarfed by the amount that I do not know. Someone whose IQ is lower than mine may well know far more than I do about particular subjects. I know a lot about writing and history, and a bit about tech. Does that make me smarter than someone who doesn't know about the above, but knows a lot about plumbing? Not if there's a broken toilet, it doesn't.

Finally, bragging about intelligence is one of the least attractive things a person can do in any social context. I'd even go so far as to say it's a stupid thing to do, unless you're actively trying to make people dislike you.