Need some help finding a word

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I need to find an alternative word for a situation.

Situation: my wife and I are have trouble with a very specific definition.

Attacking=?????

Scenario. We are talking, she is irritated, she lets that irritation show through nonverbal and tonal ways not with direct words. My perception of this scenario is that she is attacking me. I am hypersensitive to her emotions because of years of living with her without understanding the underlying meaning. When I use the term attacking she says I'm not attacking we are just having a discussion what I mean is the tone of voice and nonverbal communication she is giving off.

Passive Aggression?

That means you think she's being angry or aggressive, but she's hiding it or displaying it with subtext.

I'm not saying that's her intention, but the word seems to fit.

fussing?

Thanks for the feedback. We did talk a little bit about it but agreed to come back to it. I will bring this up as a possibility.

I hope it's not because everything I have read about that said that it's one of the hardest communication style to identify. I'm already bad at reading that kind of thing.