She was not interested at first but then……

Page 1 of 1 [ 10 posts ] 

Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

27 Oct 2022, 9:34 am

My aunt once told me when she met my late uncle in back in 1995 she was not interested. In the end though they married in 1997 and ended being a good couple granted they had some of very difficult times with my uncles illness etc…

Do you think it’s weird thought if she was not interested in him that they ended up husband and wife in the end? She was 24 when they met and he was 30 but I don’t know if the age is the reason though she was not into him at first?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Oct 2022, 4:45 am

Who knows?

At least your aunt, eventually, got interested in your uncle.

Maybe ask your uncle?



Jamesy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 24 Oct 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 8,020
Location: Near London United Kingdom

30 Oct 2022, 4:46 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
Who knows?

At least your aunt, eventually, got interested in your uncle.

Maybe ask your uncle?



Hes dead



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

30 Oct 2022, 4:48 am

Then ask your aunt, then.



Nades
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 8 Jan 2017
Age: 1933
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,813
Location: wales

30 Oct 2022, 5:05 am

Jamesy wrote:
kraftiekortie wrote:
Who knows?

At least your aunt, eventually, got interested in your uncle.

Maybe ask your uncle?



Hes dead


It would be tricky to ask your uncle if he's dead. Might still be worth a shot though.

Failing that your aunt will know.



DuckHairback
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2021
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,235
Location: Dorset

30 Oct 2022, 6:25 am

I don't think its odd at all. We're sold a romantic myth that attraction should be instant and overwhelming. Hollywood loves to tell the story of two people who are simply 'meant to be together'. Of course it's horsesh*t but it's pervasive and I get the appeal - it's searching for meaning in chaos.

Yes, people can be instantly attracted, but it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, that instant attraction develops into a long-term relationship of enduring strength, often it doesn't (notice how romance stories typically end after the heady catharsis of consummation - no one wants to hear about the slow grind that follows).

But also people who aren't immediately attracted can develop feelings over time. When I met my partner, I was instantly attracted to her, but she felt nothing for me until we'd known each other for over 4 years. We've been together for nearly 20 years now.


_________________
And they told me there'd be people there, whose love could make me whole. But I walked among them yesterday, and never saw a soul.


goldfish21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada

01 Nov 2022, 2:43 pm

It's not unheard of uncommon for that to happen.

A married couple I know started out like that. He was interested in her, asked her out, she declined.. it made him want what he couldn't have, and so (without being a creepy jerk!! this is key) he persisted and asked her out a couple more times over the months as they had a mutual friend group and eventually she agreed to go on a date with him and now they've been married for several years.

I guess she appreciated his persistence and eventually agreed to a date to see how things went. I suppose his respectful persistence let her know he was actually interested in her, not just trying to get laid.

I stress again.. if someone rejects you, USUALLY they're not interested and you shouldn't bother them. But, sometimes, it might be worth asking again later (respectfully - don't stalk them, don't be a creep, don't send them a bunch of off putting messages etc) because they might just change their mind and agree to go on a date with you. MOST of the time they're actually not interested and won't change their minds.. so if you do follow up and they say No, or especially in this day and age of apps and websites and social media - if they block you - accept the message and move on so you don't end up in trouble with the police or something.


_________________
No :heart: for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.


blitzkrieg
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2011
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 15,309
Location: United Kingdom

01 Nov 2022, 11:05 pm

It is easier for people to reject each other nowadays, even on a whim whilst in an off mood or with little thought, due to social media and the 'block' button. People tend to have more dating choices nowadays and this can impact how much patience a dating prospect has when considering a potential date.

Also, radical feminism is more of a thing nowadays so there's that.



nick007
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 May 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 27,125
Location: was Louisiana but now Vermont in the police state called USA

02 Nov 2022, 8:08 pm

DuckHairback wrote:
I don't think its odd at all. We're sold a romantic myth that attraction should be instant and overwhelming. Hollywood loves to tell the story of two people who are simply 'meant to be together'. Of course it's horsesh*t but it's pervasive and I get the appeal - it's searching for meaning in chaos.

Yes, people can be instantly attracted, but it doesn't mean anything. Sometimes, that instant attraction develops into a long-term relationship of enduring strength, often it doesn't (notice how romance stories typically end after the heady catharsis of consummation - no one wants to hear about the slow grind that follows).

But also people who aren't immediately attracted can develop feelings over time. When I met my partner, I was instantly attracted to her, but she felt nothing for me until we'd known each other for over 4 years. We've been together for nearly 20 years now.
I completely agree & you said it much better than I would have :wtg:

In the old days people usually got married for political, social, & economic reasons & love was something that developed after. Sometimes people fall for each other after spending a bit of time together. I would not have been interested in a relationship with my 1st girlfriend when we met online cuz I was not wanting a relationship & there were various things about her that woulda made me very cautious. She was not looking for a relationship either at the time. We had various things in common & really connected & were best friends when we fell for each other. I know of some cases where people were living together for some reason & then they developed feeling for each other. In some of the cases the women might of felt indebted to the guy because he helped her out of a bad situation.


_________________
"I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem!"
~King Of The Hill


"Hear all, trust nothing"
~Ferengi Rule Of Acquisition #190
https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Ru ... cquisition


CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 49
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,547
Location: Stalag 13

04 Nov 2022, 12:33 pm

My mum wasn't interested in my dad at first, but than something magical happened to them.


_________________
Who wants to adopt a Sweet Pea?