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Actually. And you know it. Pointless to write here. Or is that too much? The fact I am here at all implies the hopeless state. Bit mean? Yet true it seems. As is this writing, worthless. It's known. Responses: equally invalid, as are all things. Well maybe everything. Etc etc, repetition. Just one among many futile writings. The usual blah. Why live? Idiot.

Are you alright, brother?

Every day is a new chance, to make a fresh start, no matter what your age. No matter what your health, whatever the illness or ailment, your current situation, life can change dramatically from one day to the next. I hope for better days for you & that you know that there are people here who will listen to you & who are happy to remind you that there is always the possibility of happier days.

Happier things do not matter - being in a low sad state is truthful and common. A joyful experience must crash back into misery, it is an illusion remembering joy before the true madness of reality is recalled.

You remind me so much of someone in Italy.

Reality, depression, yes … with the ups can come the lows, but such is life. This is why seizing the day, the moment, is the one thing we have to hold onto. Joy might be fleeting, but the memory of it surely takes you back there & brings a smile? Aging when dealing with depression, anxiety, illness isn’t easy … we all face this, if we are fortunate enough to live a long life. Some of us would prefer to not live a long life. Some of us have been affected by loss of family, friends who were way too young to go. Do you have any regrets? Is there anything you would do differently, if you had this life to do over once more? If you don’t mind me asking …

I'd rather this term didn't exist. But that is just selfish. It just seems very personal, the way humans act so flippantly about things I care deeply for. Well, better to not be this way, yet trapped so, to the end. Apparently.

“Trapped” … in most cases, this is purely a state of mind. Even if an invalid, at the mercy of carers/nursing staff, it’s possible to escape mentally, via audio books & music(if you can hear), and if bedridden, the smells & sights of hopefully nature outside. Flippant humans affect sensitive souls, but you have a spirit that cares, clearly. The will to live & to be cared about, to matter is still strong enough in you, to allow you to share your circumstance with others. I hope you’re a fighter for your rights to dignity, to live your life on your own terms, as much as is possible, until your time truly comes to part this Earth. Life is short in the scheme of things. Do you believe in any higher power?

There is no reason to live aside from experiencing life, I mean you probably only get one so might as well see how it goes and what all you can experience. Of course some of the experiences suck but idk if nothing sucked would you enjoy the good parts as much without having a negative to compare them to.

also maybe you agree with these guys:

and lyrics if you find harsh vocals hard to understand'
13.7 billion years ago
Something terrible happened
And everything snapped into phase!
The universe was born-
Humanity was doomed!

4.6 billion years ago
There was a terrible rock
Floating through space
And then it stopped
And it began to spin!


Time:
It's always such a waste
At an exponential pace!
We're trapped inside the world
Killing time and space!

Burning down the walls
And tearing down the doors
Have you had enough?
Well I want some more!
Did you really think that
This had meaning?
There's no difference
Between life and dreaming!
Go!

About 16 million years ago
Some apes decided they'd be
Better off terrible
Now the world is dead and rotten
And the apes are long forgotten

But here we are
In spite of all odds
While you check your phone
And there's a guy named Todd
And the world has gone to Hell
'Cause I'm not about to die!

It's always such a waste
At an exponential pace!
We're trapped inside the world
Killing time and space!

The clock is ticking
But I'm talking to you now
You never understood
The world is round
Let's take it to a flat place this time
I have had enough of your face- please die!

Time:
It's always such a waste
At an exponential pace!
We're trapped inside the world
Killing time and space!

Time:
It's always such a waste
At an exponential pace!
We're trapped inside the world
Killing time and space!

Hey, look on the bright side, you'll be dead eventually. That's what I tell myself anyway.