There is a man I really like how do I get him to ask me out

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pigsrock
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07 Nov 2022, 3:39 pm

there is a man that I really like, I know that he is single, and we get along really well I would like to see if we could date each other but I know traditionally the man is supposed to ask you out first but there is a dance coming up that I would like to ask if he would go with me how do I go about doing this.


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kraftiekortie
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07 Nov 2022, 5:20 pm

Make a joke about it being "Sadie Hawkins Day," then ask him out on a date :)

I've never had a woman ask me out for a date; but this sort of thing is certainly more common these days than in previous days.



Benjamin the Donkey
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08 Nov 2022, 8:40 am

Why worry about obsolete traditions? Just ask him yourself.


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kraftiekortie
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08 Nov 2022, 11:24 am

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sadie_Hawkins_Day

In summer camp, there would always be a day set aside to have a Sadie Hawkins Day event.



amykitten
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08 Nov 2022, 11:33 am

If I waited around for every guy I liked to ask me out I probably would of dated 2 people in total.

So just go for it. Women want to be equals now days anyway, although they still want tradition. Women confuse me though....



blitzkrieg
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08 Nov 2022, 1:40 pm

Ask him out - he'll be flattered that you asked him, even in a worst case scenario where he says no, most likely.



RetroGamer87
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08 Nov 2022, 10:46 pm

Did you ask him out yet?


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08 Nov 2022, 11:55 pm

pigsrock wrote:
there is a man that I really like, I know that he is single, and we get along really well I would like to see if we could date each other but I know traditionally the man is supposed to ask you out first but there is a dance coming up that I would like to ask if he would go with me how do I go about doing this.
Walk up to him, look him square in the eye, and say, "There is a dance coming up to which I would like you to go with me".

Simple, right?

Unless what you really want is for him to pay for transportation, tickets, and any after-dance activities, as well.  This is because tradition (and common sense) says that the person who extends the invitation pays for everything.


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auntblabby
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09 Nov 2022, 12:10 am

you can do it!



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09 Nov 2022, 6:56 am

Those dances are loud and while there you're surrounded by a lot of people, many of whom you probably know, and other distractions. If you're in a relationship then you'll typically go to such a dance with your partner.

If you're romantically interested in somebody, I recommend just asking them to hang out with you, either someplace where it's just the 2 of you or at least any other people nearby are strangers. And above all where it's quiet enough to have relaxed conversation. When I think of the 2 relatively long term relationships I was in before getting married, both with people I think were on the spectrum, they both began with us just hanging out. At no point did anyone ever ask for a date in either situation. Of course while hanging out you need to somehow communicate the fact that you're romantically interested, don't make him have to guess what your "angle" is.

Of course it's possible you and he both live in supervised situations where the only way you and he can be together is at a function such as that dance. In that case others' advice is probably good.


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Trueno
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09 Nov 2022, 7:59 am

Employ a third party… as in “my mate fancies you”. The current Mrs Trueno made her feelings quite clear via a mutual aquaintance.


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MaxE
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09 Nov 2022, 8:15 am

Another negative about the dance. People who see you there may gossip or say things to you to make you feel self-conscious. Other women with no real interest in him may flirt with him to get him confused and as a way to bully you.


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nick007
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09 Nov 2022, 10:36 am

amykitten wrote:
If I waited around for every guy I liked to ask me out I probably would of dated 2 people in total.

So just go for it. Women want to be equals now days anyway, although they still want tradition. Women confuse me though....
I hear ya. My 1st girlfriend & then my current both made a direct move on me. Me & my 1st were best friends & I did not consider the possibility that she liked me as more till she told me. I really am that dense. I tried asking various women out after we broke up & I have not gotten so much as a single date with any of them :( so I would be single if my girlfriends did not make a direct move on me.

Me & my current gf both find women in general to be extremely confusing :? We both tend to understand guys a lot better but neither of us really relates to them in lots of ways. It's probably a major factor for why neither of us has any offline friends. We might would have good luck trying to make friends in the LGBT community & find them easier to understand & relate to but that category doesn't really fit us either.


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Muse933277
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14 Nov 2022, 9:23 am

You're not in middle school anymore, I doubt he's going to say "With you? Gross!"

If he's not interested, he'll be nice about it and let you down easy. He'll say that he has a girlfriend, or that he's too busy, or that he has another date, or that he has something else going on. Most guys will be nice about it because we know what it's like to be rejected a lot.