my son cant seem to get a girlfriend

Page 3 of 4 [ 64 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

22 Nov 2022, 2:29 pm

I believe Caz's son is pursuing girls----but I sense, like many 17-year-olds, that he hasn't achieved success yet.

I work at a college. I sense college-age kids are a lot more cautious than when I was going to high school. I've never seen anybody make out in the halls. In high school, this happened on a daily basis.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

22 Nov 2022, 8:45 pm

my husband has a friend who has a daughter the same age as my son and i dont think shes in a relationship but when my husband suggested asking her out he just shook his head and said he feels too shy

he is still only a teenager..will he grow out of his shyness in time?.he only seems shy around girls

maybe he has private boy problems i dont know about like some boys get embarrassed at the sizr of their penis for example


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


Lost_dragon
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 May 2017
Gender: Female
Posts: 2,738
Location: England

22 Nov 2022, 8:47 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I believe Caz's son is pursuing girls----but I sense, like many 17-year-olds, that he hasn't achieved success yet.

I work at a college. I sense college-age kids are a lot more cautious than when I was going to high school. I've never seen anybody make out in the halls. In high school, this happened on a daily basis.


There was a couple who liked to make out in a particular spot at my Uni. Everyone just used the shortcut to avoid them. The other option was to have an awkward conversation (getting them to move out of the way so people can access the rest of that particular hall). We just got used to it. If someone saw them heading in that direction, they'd give us a heads up and we'd take the other staircase instead. :roll: :lol: They became known as that couple. Someone did eventually say something, but it took a while. Granted, they were an anomaly. I didn't usually witness such things.


_________________
24. Possibly B.A.P.


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

22 Nov 2022, 11:36 pm

Many 17-year-old boys are shy and awkward in front of girls. That’s not unusual.

I was self-conscious about my penis at age 17. That wasn’t the cause of my shyness, though. I just lacked self-confidence.



WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

05 Mar 2023, 3:25 pm

he should start worrying at 25



superboyian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,704
Location: London

07 Mar 2023, 4:00 pm

At the age of only 17, I wouldn’t even worry at all, he still has plenty of time to develop. To be fair, I’m sure he may eventually grow out of shyness at a bit of a later age. Maybe he’s prioritising his career and that’s a good thing.


_________________
BACK in London…. For now.
Follow my adventures on twitter: @superboyian
Please feel free to help my aspie friend become a pilot: https://gofund.me/a9ae45b4


superboyian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Sep 2009
Age: 32
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,704
Location: London

07 Mar 2023, 4:19 pm

WantToHaveALife wrote:
he should start worrying at 25

Or 31. :lol:


_________________
BACK in London…. For now.
Follow my adventures on twitter: @superboyian
Please feel free to help my aspie friend become a pilot: https://gofund.me/a9ae45b4


Mountain Goat
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 13 May 2019
Gender: Male
Posts: 14,202
Location: .

07 Mar 2023, 5:00 pm

Caz72 wrote:
my husband has a friend who has a daughter the same age as my son and i dont think shes in a relationship but when my husband suggested asking her out he just shook his head and said he feels too shy

he is still only a teenager..will he grow out of his shyness in time?.he only seems shy around girls

maybe he has private boy problems i dont know about like some boys get embarrassed at the sizr of their penis for example



Just nurves. I don't speak to women apart from on this site or if they serve in a shop and I am twice his age... Today I did not knkw what to say when a lady a little younger than me said "Hello" as she passed with her dog. She did the talking. I was not able to say anything other than to smile. Oddly I could say "Hello" to her dog! :D
But I am single. Nothing wrong with being single. Many a lady has tried asking me out in the past and I freeze due to nurves OR (More often) they hint and I don't get hints and puzzle what they mean...

I think the right sort of lady he may date... For me it needs to be a lady who sees past the nurves and insists... As my first GF did this. She assured me that it was ok to date her. We dated for a good few months. I think I was about 35.


_________________
.


The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,872
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

07 Mar 2023, 6:13 pm

So what’s new with your son?



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

09 Mar 2023, 7:00 am

Does he really need a girlfriend at 17? If he can't get one now maybe he'll just get one when he's in his 20s. There is no shame in waiting a few years if he can't pull it off now.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

09 Mar 2023, 7:04 am

Fnord wrote:
In high school, I could not attract a girlfriend, so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . .

If you were gay wouldn't you have a boyfriend? But then what if you couldn't attract a boyfriend? Then people would think you're straight. So you wouldn't be able to attract a boyfriend. So people would think you're straight.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,224
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

09 Mar 2023, 7:18 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
In high school, I could not attract a girlfriend, so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . .

If you were gay wouldn't you have a boyfriend? But then what if you couldn't attract a boyfriend? Then people would think you're straight. So you wouldn't be able to attract a boyfriend. So people would think you're straight.

The experience of merely being suspected of being gay in the 70s, in most communities, was far different from the 2000s or today. I say most communities as I had a gay friend who attended a magnet HS in Brooklyn in the late 70s and was openly gay, and in a relationship with another pupil, but that wouldn't have happened in most of the US then, where most people understood homosexuality as a mysterious and scary condition. BTW it wasn't unusual for an undiagnosed autistic kid to be accused of being gay or on drugs


_________________
My WP story


RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,932
Location: Adelaide, Australia

10 Mar 2023, 4:43 am

MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
In high school, I could not attract a girlfriend, so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . .

If you were gay wouldn't you have a boyfriend? But then what if you couldn't attract a boyfriend? Then people would think you're straight. So you wouldn't be able to attract a boyfriend. So people would think you're straight.

The experience of merely being suspected of being gay in the 70s, in most communities, was far different from the 2000s or today. I say most communities as I had a gay friend who attended a magnet HS in Brooklyn in the late 70s and was openly gay, and in a relationship with another pupil, but that wouldn't have happened in most of the US then, where most people understood homosexuality as a mysterious and scary condition. BTW it wasn't unusual for an undiagnosed autistic kid to be accused of being gay or on drugs

s**t I was accused of being on drugs. No seriously. Just by one kid's mum when I was 12. I told some other people and they said "you're not on drugs, I can tell".


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


cyberdad
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Feb 2011
Age: 56
Gender: Male
Posts: 34,149

10 Mar 2023, 4:53 am

I think it's important to remind him not compare too much with his peers. As others have said, 17 is really quite young. He has lots of opportunity to grow and develop.

As Fnord indicated, when he get's a job after college and has his own money he will be much more confident.



MaxE
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Sep 2013
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,224
Location: Mid-Atlantic US

10 Mar 2023, 9:40 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
MaxE wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
Fnord wrote:
In high school, I could not attract a girlfriend, so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . . so people thought I was gay . . . so I could not attract a girlfriend . . .

If you were gay wouldn't you have a boyfriend? But then what if you couldn't attract a boyfriend? Then people would think you're straight. So you wouldn't be able to attract a boyfriend. So people would think you're straight.

The experience of merely being suspected of being gay in the 70s, in most communities, was far different from the 2000s or today. I say most communities as I had a gay friend who attended a magnet HS in Brooklyn in the late 70s and was openly gay, and in a relationship with another pupil, but that wouldn't have happened in most of the US then, where most people understood homosexuality as a mysterious and scary condition. BTW it wasn't unusual for an undiagnosed autistic kid to be accused of being gay or on drugs

s**t I was accused of being on drugs. No seriously. Just by one kid's mum when I was 12. I told some other people and they said "you're not on drugs, I can tell".

When I was 16 I was interviewed for volunteer work at a hospital. This was part of my school's program. I remember the interview but don't recall what was said. It would seem the person who interviewed me reported back to the school that I was on drugs. I guess the school didn't believe that.

I don't think many people thought I was gay. I was often called a "fag" which in the US has the exclusive meaning of being a male homosexual, however I think it was mostly intended as a general-purpose insult. Not certain of the relevance, but apparently a neighbor who was a clergyman was convinced our family was Jewish and there may have been many who believed it. This was a neighborhood in which being Jewish was not generally seen as positive. I remember one time some kids threw a 1 cent coin in from of me and I reached down to pick it up, which they then told me proved I was Jewish.


_________________
My WP story


WantToHaveALife
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Sep 2012
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,011
Location: California, United States

11 Mar 2023, 2:57 am

my first dating breakthough, or milestone in my dating life, was when i was 29, thats when i finally got a second date with a woman, which resulted in a 5-month long short-term relationship, but first long term relationship was at 33, it ended last summer, due to being a late bloomer, it makes me feel like a forever permanent incel, i know i will always be jealous and bitter, resentful, of people, who got to date and have plenty of long-term relationships in their late teens oe early to mid 20s, 20-something couples.