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Nades
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02 Dec 2022, 5:25 pm

Today I popped into a group for autistics for the first time in years. It's a new group that's opened up over the last year but only now I went to see them as I have time off work. They all seemed pretty chill.

It's run by some social worker (don't know her exact field) but she was reasonable enough though had a tendency to act a bit like a teacher in a junior school. They have a nice little charity shop going on. All the group members seem to vary hugely with their degree of autism. Some had carers and some came on their own. One might be a bit of a problem as she gave off woke vibes though.

They're planning on doing some late afternoon stuff so I'll have a lot more chances to see what they're all about at the end of work days. Hopefully It'll end up being a fun little place but it depends.

Might as well mention it because I'm bored enough on this Friday evening.



temp1234
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02 Dec 2022, 7:38 pm

Good on you. I hope it will turn out to be your permanent fun place to mix with people. Must be really nice to have a group that you feel you belong to. Yeah, non-autistic people can sometimes treat us "disabled" people somewhat like kids, which could sometimes help but often makes us feel like lesser beings.

I'd love to attend a local group like that, too, but I haven't tried to find one. I'm actually scared of even other autistic people. I'll work on that.



renaeden
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02 Dec 2022, 11:49 pm

As temp1234 said, good on you. It's not easy to first attend an established group.

I used to go to an autism group in the city - took me an hour and a half to get there. There'd be a non autistic running the group and we'd have a specific topic to cover and talk about. One girl used to like hugging everyone but she didn't hug me! There were mostly guys there.

I used to like the first part of the group where we discussed the given topic; it was the next part - eating and socialising where I kind of sucked. I'd end up eating and standing by myself, not knowing how to approach someone and get a conversation going.

I get the impression you're not like that, Nades, I think you'll enjoy the group more as you get to know people.



ASPartOfMe
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03 Dec 2022, 5:29 am

I would not let the "woke" person prevent you from enjoying the group. In any group, there are usually one or two people you are not going to like. And you don't know this "woke" person much, she may not agree with you on much but still be a nice person.


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autisticelders
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03 Dec 2022, 6:38 am

very brave, I would not have attempted it.( admiration) Hope you find what you need.


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Nades
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06 Dec 2022, 8:29 am

This woke one talking about how she regularly gets into confrontations despite her friends "holding her back". She said "i'll get done for assault but they'll get done for a hate crime" so I assume she does this semi-often.

She also said her black friend told her she experiences no racism but she implied that she probably has experienced it and insisted she did and it gave the impression she was race bating a bit. This was all on the space of just one hour.

I'll go again too see what it's likes but I might give her a wide berth for a few meets.



Mona Pereth
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27 Dec 2022, 3:10 am

renaeden wrote:
I used to like the first part of the group where we discussed the given topic; it was the next part - eating and socialising where I kind of sucked. I'd end up eating and standing by myself, not knowing how to approach someone and get a conversation going.

Of course many autistic people are likely to have difficulties like this! Did the organizer of these events have any way to ameliorate your difficulties?

In my opinion, a social group for autistic people needs to find ways to accommodate its members' social difficulties in the way the group is run.

For example, in any group event for autistic people that involves informal socializing, I think it's important that there be at least one person who keeps an eye out for people who appear to be lonely or bored and then makes a point of either engaging them in conversation or introducing them to other people.

(If there's an NT running the group, they should probably be the one to take on this responsibility. But even in an autistic peer-led group, some of us may be at least passably good at playing a welcoming-committee role. I try to do this in my own groups, and I think I've become reasonably good at it.)

Ideally, at least at larger autistic social gatherings, attendees should also have a way of signalling whether they want to be welcomed in this manner, or whether they actually prefer to just sit alone and observe. Color communication badges are one possible way of doing this (although I would consider them to be overkill in a small group).


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Dengashinobi
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27 Dec 2022, 6:02 am

Nades wrote:
This woke one talking about how she regularly gets into confrontations despite her friends "holding her back". She said "i'll get done for assault but they'll get done for a hate crime" so I assume she does this semi-often.

She also said her black friend told her she experiences no racism but she implied that she probably has experienced it and insisted she did and it gave the impression she was race bating a bit. This was all on the space of just one hour.

I'll go again too see what it's likes but I might give her a wide berth for a few meets.


Wokeness is probably her special interest and probably she likes to talk all the time like that. I once met a girl on the spectrum who was into intetsectionalism etc. It was her tunnel vision.

I don't think that the special interest defines the person. If you are positive towards each other you will be able to overcome these ideological differences and maybe even admit that the other person is a little bit right.



renaeden
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27 Dec 2022, 10:43 pm

Mona Pereth wrote:
renaeden wrote:
I used to like the first part of the group where we discussed the given topic; it was the next part - eating and socialising where I kind of sucked. I'd end up eating and standing by myself, not knowing how to approach someone and get a conversation going.

Of course many autistic people are likely to have difficulties like this! Did the organizer of these events have any way to ameliorate your difficulties?

In my opinion, a social group for autistic people needs to find ways to accommodate its members' social difficulties in the way the group is run.

For example, in any group event for autistic people that involves informal socializing, I think it's important that there be at least one person who keeps an eye out for people who appear to be lonely or bored and then makes a point of either engaging them in conversation or introducing them to other people.

(If there's an NT running the group, they should probably be the one to take on this responsibility. But even in an autistic peer-led group, some of us may be at least passably good at playing a welcoming-committee role. I try to do this in my own groups, and I think I've become reasonably good at it.)

Ideally, at least at larger autistic social gatherings, attendees should also have a way of signalling whether they want to be welcomed in this manner, or whether they actually prefer to just sit alone and observe. Color communication badges are one possible way of doing this (although I would consider them to be overkill in a small group).
There were about 25 people that used to come to the meetings. I'm unsure if that number was enough for Colour Communication Badges to be effective.

I definitely would have liked what you suggested - having someone come over and talk to me or introduce me to other people. I'm reasonably good at conversation once I've been prompted.