Are Autistics Less Attractive Compared To Neurotypicals?

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Do you believe that people with autism are less attractive (on average) compared to neurotypicals?
Yes, people with autism are less attractive. 31%  31%  [ 14 ]
Yes, but only because attractive people are less likely to be diagnosed. 9%  9%  [ 4 ]
No 60%  60%  [ 27 ]
Total votes : 45

MissMary227
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03 Jan 2023, 7:18 pm

Muse933277 wrote:
MissMary227 wrote:
I am not usually attracted to men by sight because it takes a lot more for me to be interested in someone than looks. But if I do find someone with attributes that I desire (intelligence, wit, kindness, a righteous beard lol), I get kind of excited when I watch them and discover/suspect they might be a fellow aspie. 8)



So you're demisexual then.


Yes, I suppose so. Always have been. Isn't that the way most women are?

Maybe that's why I never got into Heartthrobs and stuff...I just didn't get it. I could objectively tell why girls thought someone was handsome/heart-throbby but I never got it myself. My first puppy-love was an overweight bass player who smoked lol. Because I knew him from Vo-ag/FFA and I liked his independent nature. But alas, he was unable to love me back because he himself loved Michelle B. who in turn did not like him but someone else. It was a sad triangle to be sure.


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Muse933277
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03 Jan 2023, 10:01 pm

MissMary227 wrote:

Yes, I suppose so. Always have been. Isn't that the way most women are?



No, that's just a stereotype that women don't care about looks which is mostly false.

You might be surprised that a lot of women can be just as shallow about looks as men are, whether they care to admit it or not. After all, if women didn't care about looks, then why do hot guys get more Tinder matches than ugly guys do? Or why is it that hot sorority girls tend to date tall white guys?

Being demisexual means that physical appearance has little to no factor on your sexual attractiveness to someone. Instead, demisexual people only feel sexual attraction to someone they have an emotional connection with. A demisexual person would agree with the statement "I need to be friends with someone first before being attracted to them" and "physical appearance is not important to me when it comes to a partner."



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04 Jan 2023, 12:54 am

Looks plays an important part for me but it is solely based on my own personal opinion. I met my boyfriend on the bus and when I kept seeing him on there before I just felt attracted to him. To me he looked cute, even though most other women probably wouldn't feel the same way.

With me it's more a case of "I seem to feel attracted to him", rather than "I feel attracted to him because he ticks all the boxes of what attractive is supposed to look like". In the UK we call it "fancying". I just find I fancy someone. Then when we meet and I find that we click, that's when I feel love.

So I have to think a man is cute to feel attracted to him and I have to enjoy their personality to stay with him.

It's hard to explain.


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04 Jan 2023, 1:15 am

Everyone notices people who are attractive.
Even blind people can tell who attracts them or not, based on a vibe.

I think the issue is how to define "sexual" as in demisexual.
I might see someone who I think is really hot looking in my own opinion.
It doesn't mean I'm gonna jump their bones in real life even if I do in my mind.
I see quite a few people who appeal to me physically (usually rock stars).

I just think it's weird to say it's not "normal sexual" unless we want to shag them.
It's normal to like a person's looks without wanting to risk pregnancy etc.

It seems odd to me that some people (generally men) think this is unusual.
No I don't need a deep emotional connection to think about sex.
Does that mean I'll actually have sex with the person? Likely not.
Does that mean I'm a special variant of "sexual" ? Nope.
Does that mean some people will shag anyone good looking? I hope not.



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04 Jan 2023, 2:26 am

Both the answers above:
1. Physical attractiveness matters but not in "ticking boxes" manner, people (all genders) have their own, personal preferences and feel or not feel attracted in their own ways. It can even not really be "looks" but rather scent, the way one moves, the way one's body is to touch, etc.
2. Even if I find someone very attractive, it's not a valid reason to shatter my all my life and start a romance with them. I think all responsible adults have a moment of reflection between finding someone attractive and starting pursuing them. Even when I was in the relationship-seeking phase of my life, I considered "would I be capable of forming a healthy relationship with that person?" as the fundamental question, with way less tolerance to red flags here than tolerance to physical less-than-perfection.


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Mikurotoro92
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04 Jan 2023, 3:15 am

It's because most Autistic people have behavior issues which could scare off a potential love interest

That might be why it is harder to find a romantic relationship for Autistic people as opposed to NT's


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13 Jan 2023, 5:37 pm

r00tb33r wrote:
As a general case, yes, typical autism behaviors are not attractive.


That is exactly what I was thinking-it depends on how you define "attractive". If it is just physically attractive, then I don't know. If it is the whole package, personality, behavior, social skills, etc. Then our lack of success with dating makes that pretty obvious.