Are Autistics Less Attractive Compared To Neurotypicals?

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I noticed the personalities are a bit off with the men and women too. Obviously being attracted to the women, I find them hard to get along with.

I'm the first group, one was friendly until the time she spoke about abducting two 11 year old boys with a relative and taking them to the mountain to punish them for ridiculing another autistic (wtf)

The other was a religious crazy who asked every single man she would meet to be her boyfriend while demanding indefinite celibacy from them.

I'm the other group, another was constantly eating food and I'm that same group there was a second woman who seemed weird (I mentioned her in an earlier thread not long ago)

Anyway, she also had the green hair and was morbidly obese but apart from that, she mentioned how her friend should confront the racists around her despite her friend saying there was nobody being racist to her and she was also rambling about how she gets up into everyone's faces and said "i'll get done for assault but they'll get done for a hate crime" or something very similar to paraphrase.

It honestly seemed like it was passive aggressive assertiveness directed at me, like a warning to me because it was so out of place for the setting.

I find a disproportionate number of autisitc women confrontational and needlessly hostile when I meet them.

I've always been thin but not as in underweight, I only put the pounds on since I've been in a relationship. Also I think being on antidepressants has played a part too.

It's quite depressing to read how the autism lifestyle can make you so undesirable. I'm afraid to say here that I do attract guys, because I know someone will reply "maybe because you look vulnerable and they want to take advantage of you", which in other words means "I will just stereotype you as an unattractive autistic nerd".

Shyness can also be an obstacle but it depends on context. For example, if you're young and you go to a bar to meet guys but you're shy and you don't really drink, most guys that go to bars are probably going to chat up loud girls. So if you're shy and not really into bars then going to bars to look at guys is just asking for rejection or pretentious drunkenness.

I met my boyfriend on the bus that I regularly got. He was the driver, and we just got chatting. Eight years later we're living together and planning on finally getting married in 2023.

^That’s how people usually meet their mates. In situations like the above.

Yet my uncle used to keep telling me that I'd never met anyone on a bus.

He was wrong

I believe this starting to chat and finding out you feel comfortable with each other is the point.

This sounds like a lovely romance story.

I didn't get much in the way of dating in the past. While my looks aren't anything to write home about the problem was also that the women I approached would not consider someone like me, and the women who were open to date me were not considered by me. Probably because I didn't realize what a relationship entails and judged a lot of books by their covers.

Honestly I don't understand the dating mindset of young men today. They sound like the inexperienced teenage boys back in the 90s who read men's magazines to the letter thinking that was the only appropriate way to approach women.

One of my friends is on the spectrum, and he's not only physically attractive, but he was something of a chick magnet before he met someone nice, settled down, and proposed to her.

I am also on the spectrum, and I'm having a hard time finding anybody who'll date me, though I still have some hope that I'll eventually meet someone special.

Just like with neurotypical people, attractiveness in autistic people varies from person to person, so no, autistic people are not "less attractive" than neurotypicals.

Based on my experience with autistics I know, girls and boys included, I would say that about 70% of them are very very attractive people. And the rest are pretty ok. They are also pretty stylish people. And charming, to me at least. They have always interresting things to say. This is my experience though, maybe it's not representative.

A lot of Autistic women seem to be paranoid almost that you are sexually interested in them, just for talking to them even, without any kind of suggestion that you are not being platonic, from my experience.

I guess a lot of Autistic women find it difficult to be women whilst also usually having co-morbid mental illness with their ASD.

^ If a guy randomly PMs me, there is nothing wrong in making it clear I am not interested in anything that isn't platonic. If they're asking me whether I'm married, and keep asking me my age, then that doesn't indicate platonic intentions to me. So, I like to make things clear as I'd hate to make anyone feel led on.

And no, I wouldn't label that as being paranoid or having a co-morbid mental illness. Which I don't have, by the way.

It's not a comorbid mental illness, it's the experience of having one's boundaries repeatedly crossed, often an experience of having been abused - plus inability to read social cues to tell you in which cases you're safe.

And, yeah, lewd PMs... I got some, too, before I got the mod badge. Gross. You just have to cut it short. And to say stop when initial friendliness crosses to the uncomfortable regions.
It's a survival skill.

On WP, you can also report them. We take it seriously.

I completely agree that you should be clear upfront.

I think the issue here is that there seems to be a lot more autistic men interested in romantic relationships with autistic women than autistic women interested in romantic relationships with autistic men. The autistic women get overwhelmed from the attention & the autistic men get frustrated about not having women interested in them(I def related to the frustration thing)

I haven't read this whole exchange.

I just want to make sure members are not being called paranoid and mentally ill for practising online safety or trusting their gut instinct. That's especially true in this community of people who have high rates of past abuse / trauma, who have come to WP for support rather than gaslighting.

As a male on the spectrum I have a hard time setting boundaries. I can only imagine how difficult must be for a young woman on the spectrum to navigate safely out there. Especially if an attractive woman.

Were the women with dyed hair into anime or the punk scene? Either one would be a plus in my book. I'm not really into anime but people into it tend to be kinda dorky & dorky girls are mighty d@mn CUTE I'm kinda dorky myself so that could be why I think so. I really like punk music & have a bit of things in common with the punk culture. I really hate authoritarianism & strongly support individual rights & freedoms. I don't want to stand out myself, I was bullied lot in elementary school for standing out but I respect people who want to stand out. I have nothing against masculine mannerisms. I do not conform the male stereotype & I tend to have major problems communicating & relating to normal women. I either unintentionally offend them by being too direct & straightforward or they assume I'm a closeted homosexual I def could not afford to be too picky & judgemental towards women who might would give me half a chance.