A lot easier to find love if your gay?

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Jamesy
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13 Dec 2022, 12:28 pm

Would it be a lot easier for a gay man with aspergers to get a romantic relationship compared to a straight guy with AS?



IsabellaLinton
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13 Dec 2022, 12:32 pm

No


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ezbzbfcg2
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13 Dec 2022, 12:39 pm

I think, on average, getting sexual partners would probably be easier. And, yes, due to the dynamics, getting into a relationship would probably be easier for a gay Aspie, as the gay NT would take the lead in initiating things.



Jamesy
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13 Dec 2022, 12:47 pm

ezbzbfcg2 wrote:
I think, on average, getting sexual partners would probably be easier. And, yes, due to the dynamics, getting into a relationship would probably be easier for a gay Aspie, as the gay NT would take the lead in initiating things.



Totally agree since its very hard for straight aspie males to take the lead.

Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.



Last edited by Jamesy on 13 Dec 2022, 12:49 pm, edited 1 time in total.

usagibryan
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13 Dec 2022, 12:48 pm

In my personal experience, getting responses on dating apps, first dates, and sex are all phenomenally easier with men than it is with women. But not relationships, no.

I don't know how AS would play into it, but I did go on a date with a man who had AS not realizing it was a date (just two guys who met on the internet hanging out at the mall right?) until he tried to kiss me. :oops:


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DanielW
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13 Dec 2022, 12:52 pm

No. Relationships of any sort all require effort. What makes you think it would be easier?



Jamesy
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13 Dec 2022, 1:02 pm

DanielW wrote:
No. Relationships of any sort all require effort. What makes you think it would be easier?



I don't know maybe a man might be more tolerant of social awkwardness plus more likely to initiate things.


I once had a guy in a nightclub come up to me and give me a big kiss.



IsabellaLinton
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13 Dec 2022, 1:05 pm

Jamesy wrote:
Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.


Please don't insult our heterosexual autistic men like that.

It's not a contest.

Finding and maintaining a romantic relationship is hard for everyone, for various reasons.

Who's to say just because a gay man might be NT, he's comfortable asking men out?
Maybe he's submissive, shy, or introverted?
Maybe he doesn't know where to meet gay men?

Who's to say it isn't harder for trans-men or non-binary people?

Who's to say it isn't harder for gay or straight autistic women who don't want to be used or love-bombed?

Life's rough all around.

You make it sound like gay people are sexually promiscuous and will be satisfied by anyone, which will automatically lead to romance.


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Jamesy
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13 Dec 2022, 1:16 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.


Please don't insult our heterosexual autistic men like that.

It's not a contest.

Finding and maintaining a romantic relationship is hard for everyone, for various reasons.

Who's to say just because a gay man might be NT, he's comfortable asking men out?
Maybe he's submissive, shy, or introverted?
Maybe he doesn't know where to meet gay men?

Who's to say it isn't harder for trans-men or non-binary people?

Who's to say it isn't harder for gay or straight autistic women who don't want to be used or love-bombed?

Life's rough all around.

You make it sound like gay people are sexually promiscuous and will be satisfied by anyone, which will automatically lead to romance.



Yeah that was ignorant of me



Nades
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13 Dec 2022, 2:16 pm

I would think so yes.



kraftiekortie
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13 Dec 2022, 3:09 pm

There's the tendency for some gay men to have very casual sex----sometimes even without seeing each other's faces, no less knowing the "partner's" name.

I haven't seen anything pertaining to lesbians doing the same thing.

This sort of thing has been around for ages.

This certainly doesn't equate to "finding love." And it can be quite dangerous.

If you're not gay, don't "become gay" because you feel that being gay will enable you to find a partner.



naturalplastic
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13 Dec 2022, 3:52 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.


Please don't insult our heterosexual autistic men like that.

It's not a contest.

Finding and maintaining a romantic relationship is hard for everyone, for various reasons.

Who's to say just because a gay man might be NT, he's comfortable asking men out?
Maybe he's submissive, shy, or introverted?
Maybe he doesn't know where to meet gay men?

Who's to say it isn't harder for trans-men or non-binary people?

Who's to say it isn't harder for gay or straight autistic women who don't want to be used or love-bombed?

Life's rough all around.

You make it sound like gay people are sexually promiscuous and will be satisfied by anyone, which will automatically lead to romance.

He is not insulting anyone.
Heterosexual plus male plus aspie equals dirty end of the stick. Doesnt make you a bad person. Just means that you get screwed out of screwing.

To answer the OPs question. Yes being gay would make it easier get SEX. But get love/real relationship? Hard to say.



rse92
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13 Dec 2022, 4:20 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.


Please don't insult our heterosexual autistic men like that.

It's not a contest.

Finding and maintaining a romantic relationship is hard for everyone, for various reasons.

Who's to say just because a gay man might be NT, he's comfortable asking men out?
Maybe he's submissive, shy, or introverted?
Maybe he doesn't know where to meet gay men?

Who's to say it isn't harder for trans-men or non-binary people?

Who's to say it isn't harder for gay or straight autistic women who don't want to be used or love-bombed?

Life's rough all around.

You make it sound like gay people are sexually promiscuous and will be satisfied by anyone, which will automatically lead to romance.


Don't feed the trolls.



Nades
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13 Dec 2022, 4:24 pm

naturalplastic wrote:
IsabellaLinton wrote:
Jamesy wrote:
Bottom line being a heterosexual aspergers male is the lowest of the low.


Please don't insult our heterosexual autistic men like that.

It's not a contest.

Finding and maintaining a romantic relationship is hard for everyone, for various reasons.

Who's to say just because a gay man might be NT, he's comfortable asking men out?
Maybe he's submissive, shy, or introverted?
Maybe he doesn't know where to meet gay men?

Who's to say it isn't harder for trans-men or non-binary people?

Who's to say it isn't harder for gay or straight autistic women who don't want to be used or love-bombed?

Life's rough all around.

You make it sound like gay people are sexually promiscuous and will be satisfied by anyone, which will automatically lead to romance.

He is not insulting anyone.
Heterosexual plus male plus aspie equals dirty end of the stick. Doesnt make you a bad person. Just means that you get screwed out of screwing.

To answer the OPs question. Yes being gay would make it easier get SEX. But get love/real relationship? Hard to say.


Autistic men have about a roughly 0.26 fertility rate compared to roughly 1.1 for non autistic men.

In other words, an NT male typically has almost two kids while only one in four autisitc men have any kids at all. Three quarters of autisitc males fail to start their own family. This gives a decent indicator as to their ability to woo women compared to NT males.

s**t end of the stick for sure.

I think that sexual experience with a person is a half decent springboard to form a closer bond, possibly more likely to brew into something more long term or at least get rid of a lot of sexual tension.



IsabellaLinton
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13 Dec 2022, 4:54 pm

Where do they get those stats?
What about undiagnosed men who have kids?
Seems to me most men who get diagnosed as adults, do so because they have trouble dating.
That would skew the results.

(The ones who don't have trouble dating / being married don't necessarily bother getting assessed.)

Also were you queried in that study?
Were any of the men here interviewed?

It seems to me it can't be comprehensive.


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Nades
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13 Dec 2022, 4:59 pm

IsabellaLinton wrote:
Where do they get those stats?
What about undiagnosed men who have kids?
Seems to me most men who get diagnosed as adults, do so because they have trouble dating.
That would skew the results.

Also were you queried in that study?
Were any of the men here interviewed?

It seems to me it can't be comprehensive.


Kings college London in 2013. I'm not posting it here because it compares the number of kids autistic males and females have (these is a sizable gap) and it'll start another "who has it easier" debate.

I don't really know exactly what they mean by "Fertility ratio" but I'm assuming 1 actually means having any kids whatsoever. A typical male appears to be about 1.1 while an autistic male appears to be about 0.26.

Seeing it's about reproduction rates, it seems fair to assume it seems fair to assume it wasn't looking for homosexual people (neither heterosexual I guess too). Just a homogenous sample size.



Last edited by Nades on 13 Dec 2022, 5:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.