A story which would resonate with many of us here

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kraftiekortie
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MaxE
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15 Dec 2022, 1:24 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/relationships/i-m-a-32-year-old-virgin-but-not-by-choice/ar-AA15i6Av?ocid=msedgntp&cvid=86cd2e0e1e9e4609a8ec7d81b5f09790

This link, for various reasons, is better:

https://www.yourtango.com/self/thirty-two-year-old-virgin-not-by-choice


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IsabellaLinton
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15 Dec 2022, 1:58 pm

A lot of people are in that situation, men and women alike.

I think it's hard for women because there's an unwritten expectation that we want romance and cupids to go along with it, when in reality that's not always important to us. Most of the time it's staged or fake romance anyway, just going through the motions like a mating ritual.

I also hate the notion that a person's first partner will learn what they like.
Yeah, good luck with that.

Oh, then there's the thing about men thinking virginity is sexy.
That's creepy af, so I'm glad she pointed it out.



Sweetleaf
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15 Dec 2022, 6:54 pm

Interesting.

I actually kind of wish I had waited longer to have sex for the first time and had spent more time exploring with sex toys first. Because in my experience I have had plenty of sex I could have done without, I consented to all times but never really had enjoyable sex till I meant my current boyfriend.

But for me I never wanted a hook up...but ended up in them, thinking if we had sex maybe that would blossom into them wanting to actually be my boyfriend. I realize now it's not really how it works but when I was younger I was pretty clue-less. So yes I do regret not waiting longer to have sex, it would have been better to go into it having a bit more knowledge about it, and what I wanted out of it.

Also, though is the author certain they just want's casual sex for her first time, and doesn't want to establish something exclusive first?

They seem like fantasize about getting a hook up, but then when given the opportunity don't see it going there. So maybe they aren't too nervous maybe they just aren't into hook ups. Idk in my opinion I think they should consider finding someone special to have sex with. I am also not sure if as many 30+ people are looking for hook ups as people in their 20's. So could also be more men in her age group may be looking for something more serious than just hooking up, so the pool of men interested in that has shrunk for her, I could be wrong on that point though.


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MaxE
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16 Dec 2022, 6:18 am

Sweetleaf wrote:
I am also not sure if as many 30+ people are looking for hook ups as people in their 20's. So could also be more men in her age group may be looking for something more serious than just hooking up, so the pool of men interested in that has shrunk for her, I could be wrong on that point though.

This is a valid point. By the time I was your age I had gotten past being up for sex with anyone willing. She would do better just approaching younger guys she's attracted to although she should reassure them she isn't going to ask for commitment. A young guy with less experience isn't going to care that she's a virgin, in all probability he probably won't have become jaded enough yet to be that particular.


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Juliette
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17 Dec 2022, 7:12 pm

The grass is always greener on the other side … This woman may have inadvertently saved herself from a lifetime of regret & pain … only she doesn’t realise it. Sliding doors …